Sex Therapy Questionnaire
Surveys desire, arousal, technique satisfaction, orgasm, pain, and relationship domains
http://wisecounsel.wordpress.com/articles-slides-and-other-things/
Erectile Dysfunction specific questionnaire:
http://www.aolhealth.com/mens-sexual-health/learn-about-it/a-questionnaire-to-evaluate-erectile-dysfunction
http://www.prolutssh.com/index.html
Pfizer owned questionnaires (free with registration) for male and female specific dysfunctions
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
no space
"I can't understand this emptiness when there is not one open space in my life." Terri Churchill
Monday, October 25, 2010
The expanded women in leadership
Women in the Church
Adam Hoover
Biblical Seminary
The issue of gender roles in the people of God has deep roots. It goes all the way back to the garden in Genesis 2 and 3 and continues into the writings of the epistles. There has been a lot of debate and confusion in the church over women’s place in God’s family. In this paper we will explore how the curse in Genesis 3 has affected our view of women and how God has used women for his kingdom purposes. We will also look at the ultimate goal God has for his people and how the difficult and seemingly contradictory writing of Paul take part in this larger story.
Originally God created man and woman in his image and he said for the very first time in scripture that it was “very good.” (Gen 1:31) Man and woman were to together rule over all of creation (Gen 1:28). Then sin enters the picture with the rebellion of Adam and Eve against God. There were great consequences to this not least of which was Eve’s subjugation to Adam. (Gen 3:16) Adam also became subject to the ground to toil in his labor. Both Adam and Eve’s subjugation are painfully seen continued throughout the next several acts of the book and into our modern world. God did not create Adam to be subject to the ground or Eve to be subject to Adam but these were the results of sin breaking into our world. “The fall distorted mutuality by turning women against men and men against women; oneness became otherness and rivalry for power.” (McKnight pg.165)
The domination of man over woman can be seen through the Old Testament. This can be observed in what Israel became: a patriarchal, male dominated culture. (McKnight pg 157). But throughout these times God still raised up and used gifted and faithful women, placing them into leadership roles. Examples can be seen in Miraim, Deborah, and Huldah who play key roles in leading Isreal as a spiritual leader, leader of the government, and prophetess respectively. In reading though the scripture passages that recount these women’s stories it is impossible to deny that God used women in leadership roles to accomplish his purposes.
God instates laws through Moses, many of which put limits on male domination by placing restrictions on divorce, adultery, prostitution, and extra-marital affairs. God didn't approve of the abuse of women; instead he tried to curb it. “In its time, the old covenant provided the best possible situation for God to establish a community that would be responsive to his will. However, the ravages caused by the fall were so severe that they defiled the life of God's people in some of its most sacred expressions. The marriage ordinance provides a case in point. All the advantages of divine revelation and of moral guidance available to God's people did not suffice to help them recover the mutuality that had prevailed in marriage before the fall. Man continued to rule over woman under the cover of a depraved family structure that dehumanized them both.” (Dr. Gilbert Bilezikian, Beyond Sex Role, pg. 68)
This is the world that Jesus enters. Does Jesus follow tradition and not rock the boat? -No, Jesus challenges many of the cultural norms of his day involving women. Jesus saw women as people. James Hurley puts it in his book Man and Woman in Biblical Perspective. He says, "The foundation-stone of Jesus' attitude toward women was his vision of them as persons to whom and for whom he had come. He didn't perceive them primarily in terms of their sex, age or marital status. He considered them in terms of their relationship or lack of relationship to God." (Hurley, pg.83). We see Jesus looking toward the life and healing of women in John 4, John 8, Luke 7,Luke 10, Luke 13, Mt 9, Mt 15 and John 20. These actions show that he did not view their needs and lives as unimportant. However, on the other side of the coin, women were conspicuous absent from leadership in Jesus’ movement.
As Jesus is being crucified we witness the faithfulness of the women in his life. It was two women who did not abandon Jesus’ grave and these women who were the first to see Jesus on the third day, the day of his resurrection. The resurrected Jesus revealed himself first to women and then to men. Women were the first to have faith and then men. We see both men and women receiving the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:18) as a mark insuring their inheritance and place in God’s family (Eph 1:13, Rom 8:18)
We also notice women take a more prominent role in the new covenant time of the people of God. Christian women such as Lydia were the spiritual pioneers of their families and led their whole family to faith in Jesus(Acts 16). We hear about Junia who was “outstanding among the apostles” (Romans 16:6). Pricilla taught God’s way (Acts 18:26) and Phoebe was a deacon (Romans 16: 1-2).
So far in the story we see women being oppressed and then liberated radically quickly. This brings us to the more confusing letters of Paul and Peter to the early church. In 1Corinthians 11:3-16 Paul is challenging the church in Corinth to conduct themselves in a more “fitting and orderly way” because of conduct in the church that seemed unfitting and disorderly to him. There is much to be debated in these verses of scripture and many different conclusions about women’s role in the church have been drawn from them. The restrictiveness of these verses do not seem to fit with the larger story of scripture.
In verse 3 Paul writes “now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is man and the head of Christ is God.” This could be interpreted to say that man is over woman just as God is over Christ. But is God over Christ? The scriptures don’t teach that the Father rules over the Son but that they share equality and that one day the Father will give the reign of his whole Kingdom over to his Son. If anything we see a kind of mutual submission in the Trinity. Instead of meaning “over” or “boss” the word “head” could mean “source” or “origin”. Strong’s concordance (g2775) describes it as meaning “to bring under headings, to sum up, to summarize” which seems to indicate that Paul was saying that woman came from man. He continues this thought in verse 11 and 12 when he says that “woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. “ This shows both man and women’s dependence on each other.
1Corinthians 14:31-31 says that “women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak but must remain in submission, as the law says.” Taken literally and as a command that transcends culture women would have to remain absolutely silent in church; no testimonies, no greeting, no singing. I have never seen a church that interprets the passage this way. Most choose an interpretation that recognizes that this was not a command to be taken completely literally and forever. We try to make this command suitable for the culture we live in. We can also see that Paul does not take this command literally himself when in his previous letter mentioned, 1Corinthians, he says that he does permit women to pray and prophesy (11:5). Paul did not expect all women everywhere to remain silent, but only some women should remain silent based on his discernment. He seems to indicate that he discerned this based on the disruptive question asking that was happening and tells them to “ask their own husbands at home” (14:35).
1 Timothy 2:11-15 continues the themes of headship and silence and adds deception, submission, teaching, and authority into the mix. It is important to look at the way this passage was written. What is said and what is not said? The Greek word is epitrepó means to turn to, to trust, to instruct, or to permit. It is the only time it is used in the scriptures. It is not the norm for a way an instruction is carried out. The word epitrepó is used in the first person singular present. This differs with “epitrepē o theos” which is used in Hebrews 6:3 to say “ God permits”. We see in other letters of Paul’s that some commands can be his discerned thoughts for the people receiving the letter but not necessarily binding laws. He says, “Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy” in 1Cor 7:24. This contrasts charges made in 1Timothy “I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels…” (5:12) and direct commands “Do not entertain an accusation…” (5:19), “No widow may be…” (5:9).
Paul mentions in verse 13 that “Adam was formed first, then Eve.” One could interpret this to say that Adam was formed first and therefore is higher than Eve. This could be seen as a rule of thumb for all time because it reaches back to the garden. Paul is speaking directly about the fall of man into sin in Genesis 3. He reaches back to Genesis 3 but not to Genesis 1 and 2. This is similar to 1Corinthians 14:31-31 where Paul makes reference to the law which was revealed after Genesis 2 as well. In this context women are to be subject to man as a result of sin. When a church is still living out of the curse of Genesis 3 women should not have authority over men.
Paul himself differentiates between a Genesis 1-2 type of life and a Genesis 3 type of life when he says “In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God” (1Cor 11:11,12). In the Lord life is different from what life is like outside of Christ. Jesus did not come to keep the curse going but became the curse so that we could be free (Gal 3:13). We are all one in Christ. Those who are in Christ are not under the law that Paul mentions in his letter to the Corinthians (1Cor 14:34, Romans 6:14) but instead, as Paul says about life in Christ, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Authority, leadership and submission all radically change when moving from a Genesis 3 type of dominating, top down, heavy handed leadership to a servant style leadership. Jesus came to model for us how the one who holds authority is to be servant (Mt 32:11). This is demonstrated most poignantly in John 13 when Jesus “knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he” (John 13; 3-4) washed feet. The knowledge of his power prompted him to serve those under him. The top to bottom system gets flipped around. Paul reinforces this same idea when he is speaking of the church saying “those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor” (1Cor 12:22). The church is not a top down system, rather it is a bottom up system that shows great respect and honor to all parts of the body. “God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.” (1Cor 12:24)
It is important to be open handed in the disagreements among Christians about the nature of gender roles. Some believe the Bible teaches a timeless principle of male authority, where authority is defined in terms of the servant-leadership exemplified by Jesus Christ. Others believe that the idea of male authority expressed in Scripture is a culturally-conditioned teaching, and not trans-cultural law. They believe that the ideal model of marriage is that of mutual submission and leadership personality within an equal relationship. When guided by the principles of Godly love and servant-leadership, either model of gender roles can serve to foster God-glorifying relationships.
References
Bilezikian, Dr. Gilbert (1985). Beyond Sex Role: Baker academics
McKnight, Scot (2008). The Blue Parakeet: Zondervan
Hurley, James (2002). Man and Woman in Biblical Perspective: Wipf & Stock Publishers
Adam Hoover
Biblical Seminary
The issue of gender roles in the people of God has deep roots. It goes all the way back to the garden in Genesis 2 and 3 and continues into the writings of the epistles. There has been a lot of debate and confusion in the church over women’s place in God’s family. In this paper we will explore how the curse in Genesis 3 has affected our view of women and how God has used women for his kingdom purposes. We will also look at the ultimate goal God has for his people and how the difficult and seemingly contradictory writing of Paul take part in this larger story.
Originally God created man and woman in his image and he said for the very first time in scripture that it was “very good.” (Gen 1:31) Man and woman were to together rule over all of creation (Gen 1:28). Then sin enters the picture with the rebellion of Adam and Eve against God. There were great consequences to this not least of which was Eve’s subjugation to Adam. (Gen 3:16) Adam also became subject to the ground to toil in his labor. Both Adam and Eve’s subjugation are painfully seen continued throughout the next several acts of the book and into our modern world. God did not create Adam to be subject to the ground or Eve to be subject to Adam but these were the results of sin breaking into our world. “The fall distorted mutuality by turning women against men and men against women; oneness became otherness and rivalry for power.” (McKnight pg.165)
The domination of man over woman can be seen through the Old Testament. This can be observed in what Israel became: a patriarchal, male dominated culture. (McKnight pg 157). But throughout these times God still raised up and used gifted and faithful women, placing them into leadership roles. Examples can be seen in Miraim, Deborah, and Huldah who play key roles in leading Isreal as a spiritual leader, leader of the government, and prophetess respectively. In reading though the scripture passages that recount these women’s stories it is impossible to deny that God used women in leadership roles to accomplish his purposes.
God instates laws through Moses, many of which put limits on male domination by placing restrictions on divorce, adultery, prostitution, and extra-marital affairs. God didn't approve of the abuse of women; instead he tried to curb it. “In its time, the old covenant provided the best possible situation for God to establish a community that would be responsive to his will. However, the ravages caused by the fall were so severe that they defiled the life of God's people in some of its most sacred expressions. The marriage ordinance provides a case in point. All the advantages of divine revelation and of moral guidance available to God's people did not suffice to help them recover the mutuality that had prevailed in marriage before the fall. Man continued to rule over woman under the cover of a depraved family structure that dehumanized them both.” (Dr. Gilbert Bilezikian, Beyond Sex Role, pg. 68)
This is the world that Jesus enters. Does Jesus follow tradition and not rock the boat? -No, Jesus challenges many of the cultural norms of his day involving women. Jesus saw women as people. James Hurley puts it in his book Man and Woman in Biblical Perspective. He says, "The foundation-stone of Jesus' attitude toward women was his vision of them as persons to whom and for whom he had come. He didn't perceive them primarily in terms of their sex, age or marital status. He considered them in terms of their relationship or lack of relationship to God." (Hurley, pg.83). We see Jesus looking toward the life and healing of women in John 4, John 8, Luke 7,Luke 10, Luke 13, Mt 9, Mt 15 and John 20. These actions show that he did not view their needs and lives as unimportant. However, on the other side of the coin, women were conspicuous absent from leadership in Jesus’ movement.
As Jesus is being crucified we witness the faithfulness of the women in his life. It was two women who did not abandon Jesus’ grave and these women who were the first to see Jesus on the third day, the day of his resurrection. The resurrected Jesus revealed himself first to women and then to men. Women were the first to have faith and then men. We see both men and women receiving the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:18) as a mark insuring their inheritance and place in God’s family (Eph 1:13, Rom 8:18)
We also notice women take a more prominent role in the new covenant time of the people of God. Christian women such as Lydia were the spiritual pioneers of their families and led their whole family to faith in Jesus(Acts 16). We hear about Junia who was “outstanding among the apostles” (Romans 16:6). Pricilla taught God’s way (Acts 18:26) and Phoebe was a deacon (Romans 16: 1-2).
So far in the story we see women being oppressed and then liberated radically quickly. This brings us to the more confusing letters of Paul and Peter to the early church. In 1Corinthians 11:3-16 Paul is challenging the church in Corinth to conduct themselves in a more “fitting and orderly way” because of conduct in the church that seemed unfitting and disorderly to him. There is much to be debated in these verses of scripture and many different conclusions about women’s role in the church have been drawn from them. The restrictiveness of these verses do not seem to fit with the larger story of scripture.
In verse 3 Paul writes “now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is man and the head of Christ is God.” This could be interpreted to say that man is over woman just as God is over Christ. But is God over Christ? The scriptures don’t teach that the Father rules over the Son but that they share equality and that one day the Father will give the reign of his whole Kingdom over to his Son. If anything we see a kind of mutual submission in the Trinity. Instead of meaning “over” or “boss” the word “head” could mean “source” or “origin”. Strong’s concordance (g2775) describes it as meaning “to bring under headings, to sum up, to summarize” which seems to indicate that Paul was saying that woman came from man. He continues this thought in verse 11 and 12 when he says that “woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. “ This shows both man and women’s dependence on each other.
1Corinthians 14:31-31 says that “women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak but must remain in submission, as the law says.” Taken literally and as a command that transcends culture women would have to remain absolutely silent in church; no testimonies, no greeting, no singing. I have never seen a church that interprets the passage this way. Most choose an interpretation that recognizes that this was not a command to be taken completely literally and forever. We try to make this command suitable for the culture we live in. We can also see that Paul does not take this command literally himself when in his previous letter mentioned, 1Corinthians, he says that he does permit women to pray and prophesy (11:5). Paul did not expect all women everywhere to remain silent, but only some women should remain silent based on his discernment. He seems to indicate that he discerned this based on the disruptive question asking that was happening and tells them to “ask their own husbands at home” (14:35).
1 Timothy 2:11-15 continues the themes of headship and silence and adds deception, submission, teaching, and authority into the mix. It is important to look at the way this passage was written. What is said and what is not said? The Greek word is epitrepó means to turn to, to trust, to instruct, or to permit. It is the only time it is used in the scriptures. It is not the norm for a way an instruction is carried out. The word epitrepó is used in the first person singular present. This differs with “epitrepē o theos” which is used in Hebrews 6:3 to say “ God permits”. We see in other letters of Paul’s that some commands can be his discerned thoughts for the people receiving the letter but not necessarily binding laws. He says, “Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy” in 1Cor 7:24. This contrasts charges made in 1Timothy “I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels…” (5:12) and direct commands “Do not entertain an accusation…” (5:19), “No widow may be…” (5:9).
Paul mentions in verse 13 that “Adam was formed first, then Eve.” One could interpret this to say that Adam was formed first and therefore is higher than Eve. This could be seen as a rule of thumb for all time because it reaches back to the garden. Paul is speaking directly about the fall of man into sin in Genesis 3. He reaches back to Genesis 3 but not to Genesis 1 and 2. This is similar to 1Corinthians 14:31-31 where Paul makes reference to the law which was revealed after Genesis 2 as well. In this context women are to be subject to man as a result of sin. When a church is still living out of the curse of Genesis 3 women should not have authority over men.
Paul himself differentiates between a Genesis 1-2 type of life and a Genesis 3 type of life when he says “In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God” (1Cor 11:11,12). In the Lord life is different from what life is like outside of Christ. Jesus did not come to keep the curse going but became the curse so that we could be free (Gal 3:13). We are all one in Christ. Those who are in Christ are not under the law that Paul mentions in his letter to the Corinthians (1Cor 14:34, Romans 6:14) but instead, as Paul says about life in Christ, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Authority, leadership and submission all radically change when moving from a Genesis 3 type of dominating, top down, heavy handed leadership to a servant style leadership. Jesus came to model for us how the one who holds authority is to be servant (Mt 32:11). This is demonstrated most poignantly in John 13 when Jesus “knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he” (John 13; 3-4) washed feet. The knowledge of his power prompted him to serve those under him. The top to bottom system gets flipped around. Paul reinforces this same idea when he is speaking of the church saying “those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor” (1Cor 12:22). The church is not a top down system, rather it is a bottom up system that shows great respect and honor to all parts of the body. “God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.” (1Cor 12:24)
It is important to be open handed in the disagreements among Christians about the nature of gender roles. Some believe the Bible teaches a timeless principle of male authority, where authority is defined in terms of the servant-leadership exemplified by Jesus Christ. Others believe that the idea of male authority expressed in Scripture is a culturally-conditioned teaching, and not trans-cultural law. They believe that the ideal model of marriage is that of mutual submission and leadership personality within an equal relationship. When guided by the principles of Godly love and servant-leadership, either model of gender roles can serve to foster God-glorifying relationships.
References
Bilezikian, Dr. Gilbert (1985). Beyond Sex Role: Baker academics
McKnight, Scot (2008). The Blue Parakeet: Zondervan
Hurley, James (2002). Man and Woman in Biblical Perspective: Wipf & Stock Publishers
The short on Women
Hi Teal,
I was actually surprised at how convinced that women should be in ministry. I came into the study leaning the other way.
I will attach my paper but in short... (well in retrospect, not sooo short..)
Gen 2- men and women are equal with each other and have dominion to rule over the rest of creation together (not to rule over each other).
Eve was created to be a help to Adam. We assume that the helper is like the janitor or lackey but 'helper' is used 75% of the time to refer to God. Normally it is an upward movement. Eve was created after Adam. This is also sometimes held to mean that she is inferior, but if we look at the order of creation we see that the most sophisticated creatures are created last, not first. This would if anything imply that women were higher in the created order. At the least it is more complicated than most people give it credit for.
Gen 3- Woman is deceived. Man is not deceived; he know what he is doing and deliberately sins. You tell me which is better, to be decieved into sin or to knowingly walk into it. At this point God give the curse, part of which is that women's desire will be for her husband and he will rule over her (vs 16). The ruling of the man over the woman is part of the curse! Not the way that God had planned things in the garden.
From this point on in the Old Testament we see women in leadership over women but rarely over men. We see man become domineering to the point where Solomon had 1000 wives and women were seen more like objects or property than people.
Then Jesus comes in. Jesus comes to be the curse and end it for us (Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree" Gal 3:13.) We know the kingdom is both now and not yet. We see God's kingdom in this world but know it will not be fully fulfilled until Jesus' return. The curse is on its way out but will not be completely removed until Jesus returns (No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. Revelation 22:3).
So from Jesus' resurrection onward we see both the curse and the redemption. Paul writes strong words to churches who are living under the law and curse instead of the redemption. He even appeals to the law in 1 Cor 14:34 to say that women should not speak and be submissive. This is the law that Jesus fulfilled and they are clearly not living in the redemption but under the law.
But later Paul (same author) writes and says "In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God (1 Cor11:11-12)". And he does permit the women of Corinth (who he says not to speak in church) to pray and prophesy (1Cor 11:15) in church. And he says to the Galatian church that, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." IN CHRIST things are different than they are under the curse. IN Christ we see...
Christian women such as Lydia were the spiritual pioneers of their families and led their whole family to faith in Jesus(Acts 16). We hear about Junia who was “outstanding among the apostles” (Romans 16:6). Pricilla taught God’s way (Acts 18:26) and Phoebe was a deacon (Romans 16: 1-2). Anna was a prophetess who prophesied about Jesus while he was still a baby (Luke 2:36). We see both men and women receiving the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:18) as a mark insuring their inheritance and place in God’s family (Eph 1:13, Rom 8:18). As Jesus is being crucified we witness the faithfulness of the women in his life. It was two women who did not abandon Jesus’ grave and women who were the first to see Jesus on the third day, the day of his resurrection. The resurrected Jesus revealed himself first to women and then to men. Women were the first to have faith and then men. Something that helps me to remember this is that - women were first to be deceived but also first to ones who believed.
I think this issue goes hand in hand with slavery. It is something that can be permissible for a time but is never God's ultimate plan for us. And I see the church cutting off half of its leadership giftings, skills, passions, and potentials because they are not living in Christ but under the law and curse.
I was actually surprised at how convinced that women should be in ministry. I came into the study leaning the other way.
I will attach my paper but in short... (well in retrospect, not sooo short..)
Gen 2- men and women are equal with each other and have dominion to rule over the rest of creation together (not to rule over each other).
Eve was created to be a help to Adam. We assume that the helper is like the janitor or lackey but 'helper' is used 75% of the time to refer to God. Normally it is an upward movement. Eve was created after Adam. This is also sometimes held to mean that she is inferior, but if we look at the order of creation we see that the most sophisticated creatures are created last, not first. This would if anything imply that women were higher in the created order. At the least it is more complicated than most people give it credit for.
Gen 3- Woman is deceived. Man is not deceived; he know what he is doing and deliberately sins. You tell me which is better, to be decieved into sin or to knowingly walk into it. At this point God give the curse, part of which is that women's desire will be for her husband and he will rule over her (vs 16). The ruling of the man over the woman is part of the curse! Not the way that God had planned things in the garden.
From this point on in the Old Testament we see women in leadership over women but rarely over men. We see man become domineering to the point where Solomon had 1000 wives and women were seen more like objects or property than people.
Then Jesus comes in. Jesus comes to be the curse and end it for us (Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree" Gal 3:13.) We know the kingdom is both now and not yet. We see God's kingdom in this world but know it will not be fully fulfilled until Jesus' return. The curse is on its way out but will not be completely removed until Jesus returns (No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. Revelation 22:3).
So from Jesus' resurrection onward we see both the curse and the redemption. Paul writes strong words to churches who are living under the law and curse instead of the redemption. He even appeals to the law in 1 Cor 14:34 to say that women should not speak and be submissive. This is the law that Jesus fulfilled and they are clearly not living in the redemption but under the law.
But later Paul (same author) writes and says "In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God (1 Cor11:11-12)". And he does permit the women of Corinth (who he says not to speak in church) to pray and prophesy (1Cor 11:15) in church. And he says to the Galatian church that, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." IN CHRIST things are different than they are under the curse. IN Christ we see...
Christian women such as Lydia were the spiritual pioneers of their families and led their whole family to faith in Jesus(Acts 16). We hear about Junia who was “outstanding among the apostles” (Romans 16:6). Pricilla taught God’s way (Acts 18:26) and Phoebe was a deacon (Romans 16: 1-2). Anna was a prophetess who prophesied about Jesus while he was still a baby (Luke 2:36). We see both men and women receiving the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:18) as a mark insuring their inheritance and place in God’s family (Eph 1:13, Rom 8:18). As Jesus is being crucified we witness the faithfulness of the women in his life. It was two women who did not abandon Jesus’ grave and women who were the first to see Jesus on the third day, the day of his resurrection. The resurrected Jesus revealed himself first to women and then to men. Women were the first to have faith and then men. Something that helps me to remember this is that - women were first to be deceived but also first to ones who believed.
I think this issue goes hand in hand with slavery. It is something that can be permissible for a time but is never God's ultimate plan for us. And I see the church cutting off half of its leadership giftings, skills, passions, and potentials because they are not living in Christ but under the law and curse.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
from france with love
TASHA etADAM de grosses bises et vous dire que l'on suit le programme d'ALPHA chezAnita avec GAEL nous avons retrouvé les personnes qu'on avez contacté avec toi JO pense que le christ c'est vous par votre gentillesse,et votre dévoument en vers les autres et votre Amour JO vous cite toujours en réfèrence nous vous faisons de trés grosses bises nous vous avons préparé votre chambre elle vous attend !!!!
JO et COLETTE vos parents français
JO et COLETTE vos parents français
Monday, October 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
ASSUMPTIONS vs. ASKING
1) We all want things to go smoothly- have no bumps in the road.
2) We all want someone to read our mind.
-If you are assuming you know what the other person will say or do, or what they are thinking…STOP!
There is no way you can read their intent. You just can’t.
We must get better at SUSPENING JUDGEMENT.
This is a counter intuitive activity.
Suspending judgment is a significant adult skill that most people never develop.
This is different that “giving them the benefit of the doubt”. That is not a good phrase to say or think, because it means that you are still guessing (i.e. giving them the opportunity to surprise you / do the opposite of what you think they’ll say or do).
What you want to do is have POSITIVE REGARD for the person. And then either 1) Suspend Judgment or 2) Ask them.
Assuming is human nature. We all like filling in the missing puzzle pieces in life. So you have to develop the counter intuitive skill of suspending judgment.
Following God is also counter intuitive.
Making Decisions
Gottman says that 70% of couples’ issues do NOT need to be resolved.
*The primary goal is understanding, not agreement.
Agreement is not necessary for intimacy.
Bring forward your own desires to the other person. Put them on the table as a gift to the other person. Be straight with them! It’s a gift.
(Hud’s example of when he wanted to get a babysitter for Friday night. He called up the young woman and asked “So what are you doing this Friday night?” when he should have just been straight and asked “Are you free to babysit for Nancy and me this Friday night.”
The girl cannot respond to the first question well if she doesn’t really know exactly what is being asked of her.)
You never want to kill another person’s dream.
You might not be able to grasp their dream, but don’t kill it for them.
(Hud has always had the dream of wanting to someday build a house/cabin in the mountains. Nancy has never killed that for him, even if she thinks it probably won’t ever happen,
she doesn’t “dream-kill”)
Find a place to dialogue- not argue, but talk.
*Play the game where each person has to state what the other person is saying. You don’t move on until the other person can reflect back the exact gist of what you just said.
1) We all want things to go smoothly- have no bumps in the road.
2) We all want someone to read our mind.
-If you are assuming you know what the other person will say or do, or what they are thinking…STOP!
There is no way you can read their intent. You just can’t.
We must get better at SUSPENING JUDGEMENT.
This is a counter intuitive activity.
Suspending judgment is a significant adult skill that most people never develop.
This is different that “giving them the benefit of the doubt”. That is not a good phrase to say or think, because it means that you are still guessing (i.e. giving them the opportunity to surprise you / do the opposite of what you think they’ll say or do).
What you want to do is have POSITIVE REGARD for the person. And then either 1) Suspend Judgment or 2) Ask them.
Assuming is human nature. We all like filling in the missing puzzle pieces in life. So you have to develop the counter intuitive skill of suspending judgment.
Following God is also counter intuitive.
Making Decisions
Gottman says that 70% of couples’ issues do NOT need to be resolved.
*The primary goal is understanding, not agreement.
Agreement is not necessary for intimacy.
Bring forward your own desires to the other person. Put them on the table as a gift to the other person. Be straight with them! It’s a gift.
(Hud’s example of when he wanted to get a babysitter for Friday night. He called up the young woman and asked “So what are you doing this Friday night?” when he should have just been straight and asked “Are you free to babysit for Nancy and me this Friday night.”
The girl cannot respond to the first question well if she doesn’t really know exactly what is being asked of her.)
You never want to kill another person’s dream.
You might not be able to grasp their dream, but don’t kill it for them.
(Hud has always had the dream of wanting to someday build a house/cabin in the mountains. Nancy has never killed that for him, even if she thinks it probably won’t ever happen,
she doesn’t “dream-kill”)
Find a place to dialogue- not argue, but talk.
*Play the game where each person has to state what the other person is saying. You don’t move on until the other person can reflect back the exact gist of what you just said.
Monday, August 30, 2010
OCD
Do you have it?
From Candeo and http://understanding_ocd.tripod.com/ocd_cycle.html
How The OCD-Cycle Functions.
For a bystander it must seem strange to see someone go through hours of meticulous rituals, only to find some temporal relief. To see them engage in all kinds of absurd and time-consuming behaviors which end up making them feel unhappy/restricted for having done them.
These contradictions make OCD so hard to understand for some. But just imagine that behind each action is an anxiety- based urge.
Although the relief of anxiety is only temporary, it is still better than no relief at all.
Simplified OCD consists out of Obsessions and Compulsions.
You can read more about Obsessions and Compulsions on different pages of this Site.
But for now this page focuses on the way OCD actually continuously reinforces or sustains itself and why it's a disorder that is impossible to "simply snap out of", but which by understanding the cycle can be worked on.
Here Is a Simple Visual Aid of How the OCD-Cycle Works.
In all OCD is a self- supporting system, the combination of having anxiety triggered, not being in control of this and finding relief through actions that give you a sense of being in control is making the effects of this OCD- cycle so powerful. This is why therapy often includes some kind of Behavioral Therapy.
This type of therapy tries to break the OCD-cycle by slowly but steadily taking away the section that brings the "relief", being the rituals.
If this is done enough times, the tolerance towards the anxiety will get increasingly higher.
Whereas someone would normally immediately resort to using its known system of physical/Mental rituals, they will now have to trust that the anxiety they feel isn't life- threatening and will subside given some time.
Sounds simple enough, anxiety comes up and you wait for it to stagnate and for it to eventually go away.
But that's the whole deal with anxiety, it's scary and one wants to stop this as soon as possible. However, persisting to face the anxiety has helped many regain much of their freedom.
http://candeocan.com/k3psaiaca483h110/
http://candeocan.com/k4ymbooyocdc17fj05/
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From Candeo and http://understanding_ocd.tripod.com/ocd_cycle.html
How The OCD-Cycle Functions.
For a bystander it must seem strange to see someone go through hours of meticulous rituals, only to find some temporal relief. To see them engage in all kinds of absurd and time-consuming behaviors which end up making them feel unhappy/restricted for having done them.
These contradictions make OCD so hard to understand for some. But just imagine that behind each action is an anxiety- based urge.
Although the relief of anxiety is only temporary, it is still better than no relief at all.
Simplified OCD consists out of Obsessions and Compulsions.
You can read more about Obsessions and Compulsions on different pages of this Site.
But for now this page focuses on the way OCD actually continuously reinforces or sustains itself and why it's a disorder that is impossible to "simply snap out of", but which by understanding the cycle can be worked on.
Here Is a Simple Visual Aid of How the OCD-Cycle Works.
In all OCD is a self- supporting system, the combination of having anxiety triggered, not being in control of this and finding relief through actions that give you a sense of being in control is making the effects of this OCD- cycle so powerful. This is why therapy often includes some kind of Behavioral Therapy.
This type of therapy tries to break the OCD-cycle by slowly but steadily taking away the section that brings the "relief", being the rituals.
If this is done enough times, the tolerance towards the anxiety will get increasingly higher.
Whereas someone would normally immediately resort to using its known system of physical/Mental rituals, they will now have to trust that the anxiety they feel isn't life- threatening and will subside given some time.
Sounds simple enough, anxiety comes up and you wait for it to stagnate and for it to eventually go away.
But that's the whole deal with anxiety, it's scary and one wants to stop this as soon as possible. However, persisting to face the anxiety has helped many regain much of their freedom.
http://candeocan.com/k3psaiaca483h110/
http://candeocan.com/k4ymbooyocdc17fj05/
http://candeocan.com/k1sfybntg45/
http://candeocan.com/dkhue8ad73n/
Ocd - anxiety
From : http://www.firststeps-surrey.nhs.uk/anxiety.htm
Anxiety: the low-down
We all experience anxiety from time to time. Anxiety is part of the body’s natural response to danger – a means of alerting the mind to impending threat and ensuring we stay out of its way. But for some people anxiety can become overwhelming, continuing for prolonged periods of time and seriously affecting their ability to get on with everyday things. It’s estimated that more than one in ten people are likely to have a ‘disabling anxiety disorder’ at some point in their lives.
With generalised anxiety it’s not always clear what is making someone feel anxious. People often report being aware of feeling anxious all the time. When there’s no identifiable cause, people can then become anxious about feeling anxious, and a vicious circle begins. This type of anxiety can often relate to a particular underlying thought or belief that a person has about themselves or about the world in general. It can be very difficult for an individual to spot these kinds of beliefs because they are often a part of what makes us the people that we are.
Sometimes anxiety can take the form of panic. During a panic attack, the heart starts pounding and the person can feel shaky, sick or unable to breathe properly. Serious panic attacks can prevent people from going out or going to work. For more information on panic attacks, click here.
Anxiety can also manifest itself as a phobia, whereby people develop intense fears of particular situations or things. With phobias, people can be afraid of going outside, of being in crowded places, or of particular animals or insects.
In another expression of anxiety, people develop what is known as an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This is when people try to control their anxious feelings by performing certain actions over and over again, such as washing their hands, checking they have locked the door or turned off the gas. For more information on OCD, click here.
Back to top
Causes
Why do people suffer anxiety disorders? It is likely that many factors contribute to a person’s chances of developing an anxiety disorder. Experts have broken down the potential causes into three groups: genetics, brain chemistry, and the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism.
* Genetics
o Anxiety disorders tend to run in the family. If a parent has anxiety problems, their children will have a higher chance of developing anxiety themselves.
o Growing up in an abusive household can also influence predispositions or tendencies for nervousness and anxiety.
o Research shows a genetic tendency for chemical imbalances (see below) in people with anxiety, which owes much to inherited brain structure and processes.
* Brain chemistry
o Chemical imbalances in the brain can affect the way our ‘neurotransmitters’ (chemical messengers) regulate our thoughts and feelings. An imbalance of the brain’s two main neurotransmitters, serotonin and dopamine, can cause people to feel anxious or depressed.
* ‘Fight or flight’
o When the body is under threat it automatically prepares to either defend itself or run. This ‘fight or flight’ mechanism (that also triggers feelings such as anger, causes our heart rate to increase, our eyes to dilate, and the body to ready itself for a dangerous situation. Even though these effects are intended to help us survive, sometimes the body misunderstands a situation; perceiving danger when in reality there is none (sitting an exam, giving a speech, etc), leading to anxiety.
Back to top
Signs and symptoms
Anxiety is a mixture of thoughts, feelings, physical and behavioural symptoms.
Physical symptoms:
* Dizziness
* Headaches
* Periods of intense heart-pounding
* Tingling sensations and/or pins and needles
* Tremors
* Muscle aches
* Stomach upsets
* Loose bowel movements
* Periods of feeling winded
* Excessive thirst
* Frequent passing of water
* Failure to respond to sexual stimulation
* Painful or stopped periods in women
Thoughts and feelings:
* Worries and catastrophic thoughts (anticipating the worst outcome)
* Overestimation of danger
* Underestimation of coping abilities
* Underestimation of help available
* Feeling nervous, anxious or panicky
* Feeling irritable, easily lose their patience
* Becoming depressed and/or
* Becoming preoccupied or obsessed with one particular subject
* Having difficulty concentrating
* Having difficulty sleeping
Behavioural symptoms:
* Avoiding situations where anxiety may occur
* Leaving situations when anxiety begins to occur
* Trying to do things perfectly to prevent danger
* Trying to unrealistically predict the future in order to control events and therefore manage anxiety
The relationship between thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms and behavioural symptoms can create a vicious anxiety cycle that can be easily triggered and hard to break. If people fear or are anxious in certain situations, they can experience some of the physical symptoms above. These symptoms are unpleasant and can trigger thoughts such as ‘Something awful is going to happen’, ‘I am going to faint or have a heart attack’. Such thoughts can then lead people to behave in a way that will get them out of the situation or take precautions they think will help them cope (e.g. having a drink), but which in turn can just reinforce the anxiety.
Back to top
Selfhelp toolbox
Self-help: dealing with anxiety
The good news is that there are some very effective techniques for dealing with anxiety disorders. Most of these take a practical, step-by-step approach to coming to terms with the problem and addressing the physical symptoms and unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. Here are few examples:
1. Relaxation
To manage your anxiety you must first reduce the severity of your physical symptoms through relaxation. Relaxation could merely consist of doing something you find relaxing, such as reading, watching TV, listening to music or doing exercise. Such activities can help you unwind by taking your mind off any tension you might be experiencing.
Or, relaxation can take the form of a very specific technique, such as:
Distraction techniques help to take your attention away from anxious thoughts:
* Try to visualise a pleasant scene in your mind; perhaps somewhere you’ve been where you felt calm and happy – or an object, like a flower or your favourite car. Really concentrate on it, bring it to life in your mind.
* A ‘bridging object’ such as a photograph or souvenir from a happy time can, when looked at, help trigger positive thoughts and reduce anxiety.
* Try doing a puzzle or sums in your head, or reading a good book, or counting the number of red doors you see on your way home, or imagining what the people you see do for a living.
Once you are able to use distraction techniques effectively, try not to remain dependent on them, but also learn to challenge the anxious, frightening thoughts you’re experiencing (see number 2 below).
Simple breathing techniques can also help you relax. When you become anxious or frightened you often start to breathe more quickly, irregularly and shallowly, causing oxygen to be pumped around the body faster than normal, leading to tingling sensations, faintness and dizziness. One of the effects of over-breathing, often associated with anxiety, is that you feel you need more air when actually you don’t.
Try to recognise if you’re doing this and slow your breathing down. If breathing can be controlled, the severity of symptoms may be reduced and conditions successfully managed. It’s important that you establish a regular breathing rhythm, such as “in two-three, out two-three”, until things have returned to normal. To find out more about how to get your breathing under control, click here.
Deep muscle relaxation is great for anyone experiencing stress or anxiety. To practice deep muscle relaxation:
* Find a quiet, warm and comfortable place
* Choose your most relaxed time of day
* Lie down, get comfortable, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes, breathing slowly and calmly
* Say the word “calm” or “relax” to yourself as you breath out
* Breathe in when you tense your muscles and breathe out when you relax
Then, work through your muscles in order:
* Start with your hands. Clench one fist tightly and take note of the tension this produces in the muscles in you hand and forearm. Concentrate on this tension and then relax your hand
* Do the same with the other hand
* Now work through other muscle groups in the same way. Each time you relax a group of muscles think how they feel when they are relaxed. Don’t try to relax but just let go of the tension. Allow your muscles to relax as much as you can. Think about the difference in the way they feel when they are relaxed and when they’re tense
It is useful to stick to the same order as you work through the muscle groups:
* Hands - clench fists, then relax
* Arms - bend your elbows and tense your arms. Feel the tension especially in your upper arms. Remember, do this for a few seconds and then relax
* Neck - press your head back and roll it from side to side slowly. Feel how the tension moves. Then bring your head forward into a comfortable position
* Face - there are several muscles here, but it is enough to think about your forehead and jaw. First lower your eyebrows in a frown. Relax your forehead. You can also raise your eyebrows, and then relax. Now, clench your jaw, notice the difference when you relax
* Shoulders - shrug your shoulders up - then relax them
* Chest - take a deep breath, hold it in for a few seconds, notice the tension, then relax. Let your breathing return to normal
* Stomach - tense your stomach muscles as tightly as you can and relax
* Buttocks - squeeze your buttocks together and relax
* Legs - straighten your legs and bend your feet towards your face then relax
To make best use of relaxation you need to:
* Try to practice regularly – ideally every day if you can
* Start to use relaxation in everyday situations
* Learn to relax without having to tense your muscles first
* Use parts of relaxation to help in difficult situations, eg breathing slowly
* Try to develop a more relaxed lifestyle
2. Identify common thinking errors and challenge unhelpful thoughts.
Initially, try to identify any patterns in your anxiety by making a note of the times when you are more anxious than usual (e.g. if you would normally rate your anxiety at 6 on a scale of 1 – 10 where 1 is not anxious and 10 is extremely anxious, make a note of the times when your anxiety goes up to an 8 or 9). Then, once the times have been identified, try to think about what was happening at those times. What were you doing, who were you with, what time of day was it etc.? The next thing to note down and try to identify is: “What was I thinking at the time that led me to feel more anxious”? If you find this difficult or if nothing comes to mind, have a think about any images or memories that came up. Quite often, when our thoughts have been identified, they can be categorised into common thinking errors. These are:
Awfulising/catastrophising : thinking the worst and overestimating the chances of disaster, e.g. whatever can go wrong will go wrong, or viewing a setback as being part of a never-ending pattern of defeat. Ask yourself:
* What is the evidence for and against these thoughts?
* How many times have you had these thoughts?
* Have your worst fears ever materialised?
* What would you say to a friend who expressed similar thoughts about themselves or their lives?
The process could look something like this:
Anxious thought
I want to go on holiday, but I’m afraid that my plane will crash.
Evidence for
Aeroplanes crash from time to time.
Evidence against
Flying is actually the safest form of transport. Air crashes are very rare.
New Thinking
If I’m afraid of flying I should be afraid of driving too, as there are more accidents on the roads than in the air. So, maybe I shouldn’t worry about flying anymore. I’m going on holiday!
Jumping to conclusions (predicting the future): e.g. “I’ll never be able to do that.” Look for the evidence, how do you know you won’t be able to? Think of previous successes you have had.
Living by fixed/inflexible rules: e.g. constantly saying “must, should, ought…” Tell yourself to stop trying to be perfect. You can live according to your principles/rules, but don’t punish yourself if you can’t always keep to them.
All or nothing thinking: thinking in absolutes with no middle ground; black and white or good and bad, and a tendency to judge people or events using general labels, such as: “If I do that they’ll think I’m stupid”, “I’m a failure”. Try to see and allow for a middle ground and think about what evidence there is for and against your labelling.
Personalising: taking responsibility and blame for everything that goes wrong. Try to recognise the role of other factors and people when things go wrong, and remember that sometimes in life things just go wrong with nobody to blame.
Once you have identified what thinking error(s) you might be making, try to challenge your anxious thoughts. If you can’t think of how to challenge them, ask for advice from (or imagine the advice you would give and get from) two people you trust/admire.
3. Get active
Another strategy is to take aerobic exercise. Any low impact physical activity that leaves the heart racing slightly (e.g. swimming, brisk walking, gardening, dancing, yoga), but not involving carrying heavy weights or sudden exertion, will help.
By effectively giving the heart exercise it will, like any other muscle, become stronger. Exercise will help to release anxious tension and will stimulate the body’s own natural antidepressant chemicals, for more information about physical activity/exercise click here. A stronger heart will be less prone to the kind of pounding that can make the physical symptoms of anxiety so unpleasant.
4. Put your foot down – say “no” from time to time
It’s all too easy to become overloaded. Saying ‘yes’ all the time to other people’s demands and taking on more and more can lead to excessive pressure, which in turn leads to stress and anxiety. It’s healthy and perfectly acceptable to put your foot down and say “no” now and then.
This may mean a quick lesson in assertiveness: assertiveness is a way of expressing feelings, thoughts and beliefs in an open and honest manner without violating the rights of others. Assertiveness is a healthy alternative to aggression (where we abuse other people’s rights) or passiveness (where we abuse our own rights).
By being more assertive people can make sure their needs and rights are met, which can reduce tension.
For information on assertiveness, click here or visit www.pmhtglos.org.uk/assertive.htm
5. Improve communication
Talking things over with family, friends and loved ones, or other people that you trust, can be a very helpful process. Whatever you’re going through, open and honest communication can lift the burden and make you feel a whole lot better. Certainly don’t bottle things up. Talk to people about how you feel. If you find this difficult, your GP/doctor may be able to recommend a counsellor.
Alternatively, try contacting one of the telephone/email support agencies listed below and in the Useful Contacts section of this website.
There are probably many people out there who are experiencing similar feelings to you. If you think you would benefit from talking to them, there may be a local group in your area, or a website forum where you can chat online. Call First Steps to find out what’s available locally.
For other general self-help techniques, click here.
Anxiety: the low-down
We all experience anxiety from time to time. Anxiety is part of the body’s natural response to danger – a means of alerting the mind to impending threat and ensuring we stay out of its way. But for some people anxiety can become overwhelming, continuing for prolonged periods of time and seriously affecting their ability to get on with everyday things. It’s estimated that more than one in ten people are likely to have a ‘disabling anxiety disorder’ at some point in their lives.
With generalised anxiety it’s not always clear what is making someone feel anxious. People often report being aware of feeling anxious all the time. When there’s no identifiable cause, people can then become anxious about feeling anxious, and a vicious circle begins. This type of anxiety can often relate to a particular underlying thought or belief that a person has about themselves or about the world in general. It can be very difficult for an individual to spot these kinds of beliefs because they are often a part of what makes us the people that we are.
Sometimes anxiety can take the form of panic. During a panic attack, the heart starts pounding and the person can feel shaky, sick or unable to breathe properly. Serious panic attacks can prevent people from going out or going to work. For more information on panic attacks, click here.
Anxiety can also manifest itself as a phobia, whereby people develop intense fears of particular situations or things. With phobias, people can be afraid of going outside, of being in crowded places, or of particular animals or insects.
In another expression of anxiety, people develop what is known as an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This is when people try to control their anxious feelings by performing certain actions over and over again, such as washing their hands, checking they have locked the door or turned off the gas. For more information on OCD, click here.
Back to top
Causes
Why do people suffer anxiety disorders? It is likely that many factors contribute to a person’s chances of developing an anxiety disorder. Experts have broken down the potential causes into three groups: genetics, brain chemistry, and the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism.
* Genetics
o Anxiety disorders tend to run in the family. If a parent has anxiety problems, their children will have a higher chance of developing anxiety themselves.
o Growing up in an abusive household can also influence predispositions or tendencies for nervousness and anxiety.
o Research shows a genetic tendency for chemical imbalances (see below) in people with anxiety, which owes much to inherited brain structure and processes.
* Brain chemistry
o Chemical imbalances in the brain can affect the way our ‘neurotransmitters’ (chemical messengers) regulate our thoughts and feelings. An imbalance of the brain’s two main neurotransmitters, serotonin and dopamine, can cause people to feel anxious or depressed.
* ‘Fight or flight’
o When the body is under threat it automatically prepares to either defend itself or run. This ‘fight or flight’ mechanism (that also triggers feelings such as anger, causes our heart rate to increase, our eyes to dilate, and the body to ready itself for a dangerous situation. Even though these effects are intended to help us survive, sometimes the body misunderstands a situation; perceiving danger when in reality there is none (sitting an exam, giving a speech, etc), leading to anxiety.
Back to top
Signs and symptoms
Anxiety is a mixture of thoughts, feelings, physical and behavioural symptoms.
Physical symptoms:
* Dizziness
* Headaches
* Periods of intense heart-pounding
* Tingling sensations and/or pins and needles
* Tremors
* Muscle aches
* Stomach upsets
* Loose bowel movements
* Periods of feeling winded
* Excessive thirst
* Frequent passing of water
* Failure to respond to sexual stimulation
* Painful or stopped periods in women
Thoughts and feelings:
* Worries and catastrophic thoughts (anticipating the worst outcome)
* Overestimation of danger
* Underestimation of coping abilities
* Underestimation of help available
* Feeling nervous, anxious or panicky
* Feeling irritable, easily lose their patience
* Becoming depressed and/or
* Becoming preoccupied or obsessed with one particular subject
* Having difficulty concentrating
* Having difficulty sleeping
Behavioural symptoms:
* Avoiding situations where anxiety may occur
* Leaving situations when anxiety begins to occur
* Trying to do things perfectly to prevent danger
* Trying to unrealistically predict the future in order to control events and therefore manage anxiety
The relationship between thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms and behavioural symptoms can create a vicious anxiety cycle that can be easily triggered and hard to break. If people fear or are anxious in certain situations, they can experience some of the physical symptoms above. These symptoms are unpleasant and can trigger thoughts such as ‘Something awful is going to happen’, ‘I am going to faint or have a heart attack’. Such thoughts can then lead people to behave in a way that will get them out of the situation or take precautions they think will help them cope (e.g. having a drink), but which in turn can just reinforce the anxiety.
Back to top
Selfhelp toolbox
Self-help: dealing with anxiety
The good news is that there are some very effective techniques for dealing with anxiety disorders. Most of these take a practical, step-by-step approach to coming to terms with the problem and addressing the physical symptoms and unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. Here are few examples:
1. Relaxation
To manage your anxiety you must first reduce the severity of your physical symptoms through relaxation. Relaxation could merely consist of doing something you find relaxing, such as reading, watching TV, listening to music or doing exercise. Such activities can help you unwind by taking your mind off any tension you might be experiencing.
Or, relaxation can take the form of a very specific technique, such as:
Distraction techniques help to take your attention away from anxious thoughts:
* Try to visualise a pleasant scene in your mind; perhaps somewhere you’ve been where you felt calm and happy – or an object, like a flower or your favourite car. Really concentrate on it, bring it to life in your mind.
* A ‘bridging object’ such as a photograph or souvenir from a happy time can, when looked at, help trigger positive thoughts and reduce anxiety.
* Try doing a puzzle or sums in your head, or reading a good book, or counting the number of red doors you see on your way home, or imagining what the people you see do for a living.
Once you are able to use distraction techniques effectively, try not to remain dependent on them, but also learn to challenge the anxious, frightening thoughts you’re experiencing (see number 2 below).
Simple breathing techniques can also help you relax. When you become anxious or frightened you often start to breathe more quickly, irregularly and shallowly, causing oxygen to be pumped around the body faster than normal, leading to tingling sensations, faintness and dizziness. One of the effects of over-breathing, often associated with anxiety, is that you feel you need more air when actually you don’t.
Try to recognise if you’re doing this and slow your breathing down. If breathing can be controlled, the severity of symptoms may be reduced and conditions successfully managed. It’s important that you establish a regular breathing rhythm, such as “in two-three, out two-three”, until things have returned to normal. To find out more about how to get your breathing under control, click here.
Deep muscle relaxation is great for anyone experiencing stress or anxiety. To practice deep muscle relaxation:
* Find a quiet, warm and comfortable place
* Choose your most relaxed time of day
* Lie down, get comfortable, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes, breathing slowly and calmly
* Say the word “calm” or “relax” to yourself as you breath out
* Breathe in when you tense your muscles and breathe out when you relax
Then, work through your muscles in order:
* Start with your hands. Clench one fist tightly and take note of the tension this produces in the muscles in you hand and forearm. Concentrate on this tension and then relax your hand
* Do the same with the other hand
* Now work through other muscle groups in the same way. Each time you relax a group of muscles think how they feel when they are relaxed. Don’t try to relax but just let go of the tension. Allow your muscles to relax as much as you can. Think about the difference in the way they feel when they are relaxed and when they’re tense
It is useful to stick to the same order as you work through the muscle groups:
* Hands - clench fists, then relax
* Arms - bend your elbows and tense your arms. Feel the tension especially in your upper arms. Remember, do this for a few seconds and then relax
* Neck - press your head back and roll it from side to side slowly. Feel how the tension moves. Then bring your head forward into a comfortable position
* Face - there are several muscles here, but it is enough to think about your forehead and jaw. First lower your eyebrows in a frown. Relax your forehead. You can also raise your eyebrows, and then relax. Now, clench your jaw, notice the difference when you relax
* Shoulders - shrug your shoulders up - then relax them
* Chest - take a deep breath, hold it in for a few seconds, notice the tension, then relax. Let your breathing return to normal
* Stomach - tense your stomach muscles as tightly as you can and relax
* Buttocks - squeeze your buttocks together and relax
* Legs - straighten your legs and bend your feet towards your face then relax
To make best use of relaxation you need to:
* Try to practice regularly – ideally every day if you can
* Start to use relaxation in everyday situations
* Learn to relax without having to tense your muscles first
* Use parts of relaxation to help in difficult situations, eg breathing slowly
* Try to develop a more relaxed lifestyle
2. Identify common thinking errors and challenge unhelpful thoughts.
Initially, try to identify any patterns in your anxiety by making a note of the times when you are more anxious than usual (e.g. if you would normally rate your anxiety at 6 on a scale of 1 – 10 where 1 is not anxious and 10 is extremely anxious, make a note of the times when your anxiety goes up to an 8 or 9). Then, once the times have been identified, try to think about what was happening at those times. What were you doing, who were you with, what time of day was it etc.? The next thing to note down and try to identify is: “What was I thinking at the time that led me to feel more anxious”? If you find this difficult or if nothing comes to mind, have a think about any images or memories that came up. Quite often, when our thoughts have been identified, they can be categorised into common thinking errors. These are:
Awfulising/catastrophising : thinking the worst and overestimating the chances of disaster, e.g. whatever can go wrong will go wrong, or viewing a setback as being part of a never-ending pattern of defeat. Ask yourself:
* What is the evidence for and against these thoughts?
* How many times have you had these thoughts?
* Have your worst fears ever materialised?
* What would you say to a friend who expressed similar thoughts about themselves or their lives?
The process could look something like this:
Anxious thought
I want to go on holiday, but I’m afraid that my plane will crash.
Evidence for
Aeroplanes crash from time to time.
Evidence against
Flying is actually the safest form of transport. Air crashes are very rare.
New Thinking
If I’m afraid of flying I should be afraid of driving too, as there are more accidents on the roads than in the air. So, maybe I shouldn’t worry about flying anymore. I’m going on holiday!
Jumping to conclusions (predicting the future): e.g. “I’ll never be able to do that.” Look for the evidence, how do you know you won’t be able to? Think of previous successes you have had.
Living by fixed/inflexible rules: e.g. constantly saying “must, should, ought…” Tell yourself to stop trying to be perfect. You can live according to your principles/rules, but don’t punish yourself if you can’t always keep to them.
All or nothing thinking: thinking in absolutes with no middle ground; black and white or good and bad, and a tendency to judge people or events using general labels, such as: “If I do that they’ll think I’m stupid”, “I’m a failure”. Try to see and allow for a middle ground and think about what evidence there is for and against your labelling.
Personalising: taking responsibility and blame for everything that goes wrong. Try to recognise the role of other factors and people when things go wrong, and remember that sometimes in life things just go wrong with nobody to blame.
Once you have identified what thinking error(s) you might be making, try to challenge your anxious thoughts. If you can’t think of how to challenge them, ask for advice from (or imagine the advice you would give and get from) two people you trust/admire.
3. Get active
Another strategy is to take aerobic exercise. Any low impact physical activity that leaves the heart racing slightly (e.g. swimming, brisk walking, gardening, dancing, yoga), but not involving carrying heavy weights or sudden exertion, will help.
By effectively giving the heart exercise it will, like any other muscle, become stronger. Exercise will help to release anxious tension and will stimulate the body’s own natural antidepressant chemicals, for more information about physical activity/exercise click here. A stronger heart will be less prone to the kind of pounding that can make the physical symptoms of anxiety so unpleasant.
4. Put your foot down – say “no” from time to time
It’s all too easy to become overloaded. Saying ‘yes’ all the time to other people’s demands and taking on more and more can lead to excessive pressure, which in turn leads to stress and anxiety. It’s healthy and perfectly acceptable to put your foot down and say “no” now and then.
This may mean a quick lesson in assertiveness: assertiveness is a way of expressing feelings, thoughts and beliefs in an open and honest manner without violating the rights of others. Assertiveness is a healthy alternative to aggression (where we abuse other people’s rights) or passiveness (where we abuse our own rights).
By being more assertive people can make sure their needs and rights are met, which can reduce tension.
For information on assertiveness, click here or visit www.pmhtglos.org.uk/assertive.htm
5. Improve communication
Talking things over with family, friends and loved ones, or other people that you trust, can be a very helpful process. Whatever you’re going through, open and honest communication can lift the burden and make you feel a whole lot better. Certainly don’t bottle things up. Talk to people about how you feel. If you find this difficult, your GP/doctor may be able to recommend a counsellor.
Alternatively, try contacting one of the telephone/email support agencies listed below and in the Useful Contacts section of this website.
There are probably many people out there who are experiencing similar feelings to you. If you think you would benefit from talking to them, there may be a local group in your area, or a website forum where you can chat online. Call First Steps to find out what’s available locally.
For other general self-help techniques, click here.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Health Insurance List
Christian Care Medi-Share
Not health Insurance but similar. A pool of money that helps pay medical bills.
www.mychristiancare.org 1800 psalm 23
Personal Navigators
Helps to find info on what is available for social services in your area
1800 591 8234 (zero for operator and they will call back)
http://www.vnacs.org/index.php?page=personal-navigator-program
Has a printable brochure
Tricounty Community Network-
Can inquire about health care services in your area
610 705 3301 http://www.tcnetwork.info/index.php
The Clinic
Pville’s health clinic with a good resource page on their website
http://www.theclinicpa.org/resources
Montgomery County Health Department
610-970-5040
Norristown Regional Health Center
Outpatient services at low prices
610-278-7787 http://www.dvch.org/norristown.php
Community Health and Dental
In Pottstown- helps to give care based on income
www.ch-dc.org 610-326-9460
Catholic Social Services of Montgomery County
$ management classes, Counselors, food bank, help for seniors
610.279.7372 http://www.familyservices-phl.org/montgomerycountry.html
Harcum College Cohen Dental Center
Discounted Exams and Cleanings ($10-$20) 610-526-6110
http://www.harcum.edu/CS_ABO_Cohen_Dental_Center.aspx
Montgomery County Community College Dental Clinic, Blue Bell
(215) 641-6483
Phoenixville Health Care Access
Dental, Vision, Teeth. Available in Chester and some of Montgomery county
610) 935-3165 http://www.phcafoundation.org/eligible.html
Healthy Start- Helps young mothers and pregnancies.
http://www.paperinatal.org/app/webroot/files/Document8.pdf
Available in Chester and Philadelphia counties (not in Montgomery)
(610) 497-7344
Possible Helps
www.ehealthinsurance.com- Internet listing of health insurances
http://www.nahu.org/consumer/findagent3.cfm - NAHU- find an insurance broker near you
Not health Insurance but similar. A pool of money that helps pay medical bills.
www.mychristiancare.org 1800 psalm 23
Personal Navigators
Helps to find info on what is available for social services in your area
1800 591 8234 (zero for operator and they will call back)
http://www.vnacs.org/index.php?page=personal-navigator-program
Has a printable brochure
Tricounty Community Network-
Can inquire about health care services in your area
610 705 3301 http://www.tcnetwork.info/index.php
The Clinic
Pville’s health clinic with a good resource page on their website
http://www.theclinicpa.org/resources
Montgomery County Health Department
610-970-5040
Norristown Regional Health Center
Outpatient services at low prices
610-278-7787 http://www.dvch.org/norristown.php
Community Health and Dental
In Pottstown- helps to give care based on income
www.ch-dc.org 610-326-9460
Catholic Social Services of Montgomery County
$ management classes, Counselors, food bank, help for seniors
610.279.7372 http://www.familyservices-phl.org/montgomerycountry.html
Harcum College Cohen Dental Center
Discounted Exams and Cleanings ($10-$20) 610-526-6110
http://www.harcum.edu/CS_ABO_Cohen_Dental_Center.aspx
Montgomery County Community College Dental Clinic, Blue Bell
(215) 641-6483
Phoenixville Health Care Access
Dental, Vision, Teeth. Available in Chester and some of Montgomery county
610) 935-3165 http://www.phcafoundation.org/eligible.html
Healthy Start- Helps young mothers and pregnancies.
http://www.paperinatal.org/app/webroot/files/Document8.pdf
Available in Chester and Philadelphia counties (not in Montgomery)
(610) 497-7344
Possible Helps
www.ehealthinsurance.com- Internet listing of health insurances
http://www.nahu.org/consumer/findagent3.cfm - NAHU- find an insurance broker near you
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
camp memories from facebook
YJ has experienced a peice of heaven on earth for a week.
Alix- just wanted to say how amazing this week has been and that I adored seeing and meeting everyone. It really feels like I left part of myself at camp and it'll just have to stay there until next year. Beautiful week, love you all.
YoulimJ- I MISS CAMP! :( And all the amazing people who made it the awesomest ever. (:
Chantal is allready missin Chloë Meyronnet, Alix Chaume, Jonathan Lichtlé, Gareth Loughlin, Youlim Natalie Jun ت and Hannah Pearce!!!!!!!
Hannah Had an amaaazing afternoon with the best water fight in the world!And not to forget the mud wrestling with Chloë Meyronnet, Isaac Holmyard, Kelsey Remple, Ashley M. Gardner and Chantal Van Houtte ...the list goes on!
Chloe- We all live in a yellow submarine - A WHAT?
Kid's Camp 2010 ♥
Valentine- why did camp have to end? :'(
Julian misses his sugar cubes and coffee at camp with gareth and jamie
Julian- Kids camp iccp 2010 starts In 2hours and 20minutes :D. :)
Alix- just wanted to say how amazing this week has been and that I adored seeing and meeting everyone. It really feels like I left part of myself at camp and it'll just have to stay there until next year. Beautiful week, love you all.
YoulimJ- I MISS CAMP! :( And all the amazing people who made it the awesomest ever. (:
Chantal is allready missin Chloë Meyronnet, Alix Chaume, Jonathan Lichtlé, Gareth Loughlin, Youlim Natalie Jun ت and Hannah Pearce!!!!!!!
Hannah Had an amaaazing afternoon with the best water fight in the world!And not to forget the mud wrestling with Chloë Meyronnet, Isaac Holmyard, Kelsey Remple, Ashley M. Gardner and Chantal Van Houtte ...the list goes on!
Chloe- We all live in a yellow submarine - A WHAT?
Kid's Camp 2010 ♥
Valentine- why did camp have to end? :'(
Julian misses his sugar cubes and coffee at camp with gareth and jamie
Julian- Kids camp iccp 2010 starts In 2hours and 20minutes :D. :)
I’d like to say a few words about these two young men. Some words that I would use, to describe you…
Humble- Pirate, allows me to call him youki
Sea cucumber, Self made dragon costume
Talented- WB, playing pots in the Cevennes, Playing characters that range from soft hearted thugs to Oinky and Zoinkey. I won’t go on to describe their performaces but they took down the house.
Creative- Youkang can
Loving- Seem to care for all the people around them.
This week marks a great change in your lives. You move from a place in life where the majority of the important decisions in your life are made for you to a place in life where you are expected to make these big decisions yourself. What will you do with it new freedom? You will invariably try to pursue your idea of success.
How will you judge if you are living a full life?
Will you judge your life on the world’s standards of success? A job that is better. A home that is bigger. A personality that is dominant. Influence over the masses. Who has met the world’s standards? Who has done all that men want? Who is not a failure in some ways in the world’s eyes?
No, by the world’s standards are unattainable. We can’t all dominate. We can’t all be the ones who are at the top.
So what is success?
I will share a story with about a man.
He has no home. In a dark night the man walks down a winding path in the moonlight. He walks urgently to find a friend to help this friend in his time of trouble. The man has friends. But he knows that they are fickle and they will not stand by him if hard times come. They are all fair weather friends.
He is not impressive in his looks. He is not particularly handsome, not particularly tall, he has not outstanding features. His hands are rough from years of physical labor. He has never worked in an office, never managed anyone, never held a political office.
He thinks of the future and wonders what will become. Will he live a long life? Will he be loved by people? But he knows the answer to both is no. He knows he will not live a long life. He knows that many people hate him. His family doesn’t understand him. They want him to come back to live with his Mom and stop wandering around talking to people and partying. They don’t understand that he does not want work in the same field as step-dad. He has a different passion, a different passion. People looked down on him because he did not hang out with the right people. He hung out with the type of people most people would consider losers. They were not successful. They had criminal records. They had bad reputation. But these are the ones he chose to spend most of his time with. No one understood why. Maybe he sees something different in them.
On the path a beautiful woman joins him. She whispers something in his ear and they laugh about it. They are not dating. He has never dated anyone. He is a virgin. He knows that the culture requires someone of his age to be married. They wonder why he does not take this woman or some other as his wife. They obviously love each other. But he does not see her in that way. He loves her with a different kind of love.
He is dressed in the only outfits he owns. He does not have enough money to own more than this. Some of his peers are very sharply dressed. They always are in style. This is very important to them. They wonder why he doesn’t care about the way he is dressed. Will he ever get with it? Why doesn’t he buy something else?
On the way he sees a soldier. The soldier is a very important man. He is the commander of many regiments and comes to speak with the man. The man has never served in the military, never held a weapon, has never chosen violence as a way to influence anyone, holds no political office. All the politicians he has met with thought he was crazy. They did not want to hear from him. He had no influence on politics. Yet this commander of many comes to him along the roadside. He seems to want something from the man. They speak a few words with each other and then go their separate ways. The commander runs away quickly in the direction that he came from. He seems to have a smile on his face and a wild look in his eyes.
As the sun moves up in the sky and the day becomes warmer a man rolls quickly up in his fresh new expensive wheels. He is the son of a millionaire and acts like it. He has gotten used to being in style. Everyone respects this powerful young entrepreneur. They respect and fear him. Why he is speaking with this man is a mystery to many. The man has no means of income, owns nothing, has no business, and does not control large amounts of money. He has no car, no cell phone, and most importantly no university degrees. Perhaps this young millionaire is mistaken with whom this man is. But no, he seems to be intent to speak with this man. The rich man enters the dialogue full of self-confidence and assurance. Only a few minutes later the young man, head down, pensively walks back towards his ride. He seems to be contemplating something of great importance and then suddenly shakes his head, dusts off his feet and rides away. The man remains behind. You notice out of the corner of your eye that he is weeping as he watches the young man leave. But the strangest thing is that he does not seem to be saddened for himself by the loss of this potentially powerful friend but instead he seems to be weeping for the rich young man and the loss that he has suffered.
Many people think he is radical but he knows the truth. He knows that everything he does is a copy of someone else. He quotes things all the time. Not Simpsons quotes or things from movies but people wonder if he has been reading too much. Why does he spend so much time memorizing quotes?
He is not independent. In fact, he can’t do a single thing by himself. Culture says that we should not depend on anyone but daily the man depends on others. In fact he knows that he cannot do a single thing useful on his own. He has come to terms with this. Independence is not the way he aims to be. But who, he thinks, will respect someone who is co-dependent like me?
The man is getting hungry. Fortunately he is close to the home of a friend. He sits and talks while his friend runs around frantically to prepare the meal. Does she want some help in the kitchen? The man is not known for being a good cook. He would prefer to sit and talk. He takes his time to enjoy other people’s company. This ticks other people off. His friend who is working away in the kitchen expresses her displeasure. His friend is yelled at for not helping out enough. He wonders if the anger is also aimed at him.
He walks along and people wander in and out of the path he is on. Some people remain for a time some for longer. But only a select few will remain with him for life.
He thinks about his future. There is a warrant out for his arrest. He knows he will soon be brought in. What has he achieved in life?
Is his life a success?
You have been observing this man for some time as you walk down this path but now he comes to you. As he draws closer to you and you take steps toward him you are now close enough to him to be able to look into his eyes. But looking into the depths of them you can see that there is something different about him. Everything about him exuded a deep sense of love, hope, and joy.
Suddenly there is a choice you need to make. How will you respond to this man? Is he a success in your eyes? Do your future dreams match the dream that he has for you? Is your idea of success the same as his?
In your encounter with him you come to realize that this is the same man who will come to measure your life by his standard of success. How will what you did measure up?
You begin to realize that He will not look at the amount of money you made. Nor the sexiness that you have exuded. He will not judge you by the degrees on your wall, the possessions that you own or the cv that you accumulated. He won’t judge you on how good of a cook you are or how well you played an instrument even how hard you tried at these things or how many people liked you?
He begins to move in a new direction and invites you to come with him. He is heading for cross and says that he will carry it for you. He seems way less concerned with success than he is deepening his relationship with you. He says that he will lay down his life to be with you. And does not measure a man by his outward appearance but by his heart.
So the question he asks you as you are preparing to take the first big steps into your future is this…
What IS success in the eyes of your maker? And how is he calling you into it?
Humble- Pirate, allows me to call him youki
Sea cucumber, Self made dragon costume
Talented- WB, playing pots in the Cevennes, Playing characters that range from soft hearted thugs to Oinky and Zoinkey. I won’t go on to describe their performaces but they took down the house.
Creative- Youkang can
Loving- Seem to care for all the people around them.
This week marks a great change in your lives. You move from a place in life where the majority of the important decisions in your life are made for you to a place in life where you are expected to make these big decisions yourself. What will you do with it new freedom? You will invariably try to pursue your idea of success.
How will you judge if you are living a full life?
Will you judge your life on the world’s standards of success? A job that is better. A home that is bigger. A personality that is dominant. Influence over the masses. Who has met the world’s standards? Who has done all that men want? Who is not a failure in some ways in the world’s eyes?
No, by the world’s standards are unattainable. We can’t all dominate. We can’t all be the ones who are at the top.
So what is success?
I will share a story with about a man.
He has no home. In a dark night the man walks down a winding path in the moonlight. He walks urgently to find a friend to help this friend in his time of trouble. The man has friends. But he knows that they are fickle and they will not stand by him if hard times come. They are all fair weather friends.
He is not impressive in his looks. He is not particularly handsome, not particularly tall, he has not outstanding features. His hands are rough from years of physical labor. He has never worked in an office, never managed anyone, never held a political office.
He thinks of the future and wonders what will become. Will he live a long life? Will he be loved by people? But he knows the answer to both is no. He knows he will not live a long life. He knows that many people hate him. His family doesn’t understand him. They want him to come back to live with his Mom and stop wandering around talking to people and partying. They don’t understand that he does not want work in the same field as step-dad. He has a different passion, a different passion. People looked down on him because he did not hang out with the right people. He hung out with the type of people most people would consider losers. They were not successful. They had criminal records. They had bad reputation. But these are the ones he chose to spend most of his time with. No one understood why. Maybe he sees something different in them.
On the path a beautiful woman joins him. She whispers something in his ear and they laugh about it. They are not dating. He has never dated anyone. He is a virgin. He knows that the culture requires someone of his age to be married. They wonder why he does not take this woman or some other as his wife. They obviously love each other. But he does not see her in that way. He loves her with a different kind of love.
He is dressed in the only outfits he owns. He does not have enough money to own more than this. Some of his peers are very sharply dressed. They always are in style. This is very important to them. They wonder why he doesn’t care about the way he is dressed. Will he ever get with it? Why doesn’t he buy something else?
On the way he sees a soldier. The soldier is a very important man. He is the commander of many regiments and comes to speak with the man. The man has never served in the military, never held a weapon, has never chosen violence as a way to influence anyone, holds no political office. All the politicians he has met with thought he was crazy. They did not want to hear from him. He had no influence on politics. Yet this commander of many comes to him along the roadside. He seems to want something from the man. They speak a few words with each other and then go their separate ways. The commander runs away quickly in the direction that he came from. He seems to have a smile on his face and a wild look in his eyes.
As the sun moves up in the sky and the day becomes warmer a man rolls quickly up in his fresh new expensive wheels. He is the son of a millionaire and acts like it. He has gotten used to being in style. Everyone respects this powerful young entrepreneur. They respect and fear him. Why he is speaking with this man is a mystery to many. The man has no means of income, owns nothing, has no business, and does not control large amounts of money. He has no car, no cell phone, and most importantly no university degrees. Perhaps this young millionaire is mistaken with whom this man is. But no, he seems to be intent to speak with this man. The rich man enters the dialogue full of self-confidence and assurance. Only a few minutes later the young man, head down, pensively walks back towards his ride. He seems to be contemplating something of great importance and then suddenly shakes his head, dusts off his feet and rides away. The man remains behind. You notice out of the corner of your eye that he is weeping as he watches the young man leave. But the strangest thing is that he does not seem to be saddened for himself by the loss of this potentially powerful friend but instead he seems to be weeping for the rich young man and the loss that he has suffered.
Many people think he is radical but he knows the truth. He knows that everything he does is a copy of someone else. He quotes things all the time. Not Simpsons quotes or things from movies but people wonder if he has been reading too much. Why does he spend so much time memorizing quotes?
He is not independent. In fact, he can’t do a single thing by himself. Culture says that we should not depend on anyone but daily the man depends on others. In fact he knows that he cannot do a single thing useful on his own. He has come to terms with this. Independence is not the way he aims to be. But who, he thinks, will respect someone who is co-dependent like me?
The man is getting hungry. Fortunately he is close to the home of a friend. He sits and talks while his friend runs around frantically to prepare the meal. Does she want some help in the kitchen? The man is not known for being a good cook. He would prefer to sit and talk. He takes his time to enjoy other people’s company. This ticks other people off. His friend who is working away in the kitchen expresses her displeasure. His friend is yelled at for not helping out enough. He wonders if the anger is also aimed at him.
He walks along and people wander in and out of the path he is on. Some people remain for a time some for longer. But only a select few will remain with him for life.
He thinks about his future. There is a warrant out for his arrest. He knows he will soon be brought in. What has he achieved in life?
Is his life a success?
You have been observing this man for some time as you walk down this path but now he comes to you. As he draws closer to you and you take steps toward him you are now close enough to him to be able to look into his eyes. But looking into the depths of them you can see that there is something different about him. Everything about him exuded a deep sense of love, hope, and joy.
Suddenly there is a choice you need to make. How will you respond to this man? Is he a success in your eyes? Do your future dreams match the dream that he has for you? Is your idea of success the same as his?
In your encounter with him you come to realize that this is the same man who will come to measure your life by his standard of success. How will what you did measure up?
You begin to realize that He will not look at the amount of money you made. Nor the sexiness that you have exuded. He will not judge you by the degrees on your wall, the possessions that you own or the cv that you accumulated. He won’t judge you on how good of a cook you are or how well you played an instrument even how hard you tried at these things or how many people liked you?
He begins to move in a new direction and invites you to come with him. He is heading for cross and says that he will carry it for you. He seems way less concerned with success than he is deepening his relationship with you. He says that he will lay down his life to be with you. And does not measure a man by his outward appearance but by his heart.
So the question he asks you as you are preparing to take the first big steps into your future is this…
What IS success in the eyes of your maker? And how is he calling you into it?
memories
André Hey Adam, I take it you're the spokesman for the Hoovers so I'll post this on your wall :) I just wanted to say it has been simply amazing getting to know you and Tasha. I realize now that such a huge number of my best memories were spent at camp or at youth group. I think the only word I can say to describe the two of... you is "amazing". As you said Adam, I will keep pursuing God. I am bewildered by what He has done for your lives. I really hope to see you SOON, and enjoy Philly. Thanks for everything Adamn and Tasha, you great people. I'm gonna miss you loads !
Yk- never met anyone like you. Want to be like.
Br- Good, loving, think about others
Nao- Use authority with love
Meg- not just take care of the kids but love them
Alokita- wants yg with us, you won't be there so
Yk- never met anyone like you. Want to be like.
Br- Good, loving, think about others
Nao- Use authority with love
Meg- not just take care of the kids but love them
Alokita- wants yg with us, you won't be there so
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Ideas for next year abide connect bless
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the
area of "Abide"?
-Accountability initiators/ leaders, prayer breakfasts, mentor/discipleship relationships.
-Encourage people to study and connecting with God on their own and in small groups. All levels of belonging- intimate, personal, social, public
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Connect"?
-Leadership community, -story time, encouragement, questions, cross pollination, building the leaders up, teaching, food.
-Connecting time at staff meeting, one month later- did they get connected in?
-Connecting team- look for new people, email the names to the staff to pray for and put on list.
Community needs list- how to help,
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Bless"?
-Missions trip to Uganda with ICCP
-Local missions
-Supporting Global partner initiatives- starting community groups in new areas- pray for, equip, encourage
area of "Abide"?
-Accountability initiators/ leaders, prayer breakfasts, mentor/discipleship relationships.
-Encourage people to study and connecting with God on their own and in small groups. All levels of belonging- intimate, personal, social, public
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Connect"?
-Leadership community, -story time, encouragement, questions, cross pollination, building the leaders up, teaching, food.
-Connecting time at staff meeting, one month later- did they get connected in?
-Connecting team- look for new people, email the names to the staff to pray for and put on list.
Community needs list- how to help,
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Bless"?
-Missions trip to Uganda with ICCP
-Local missions
-Supporting Global partner initiatives- starting community groups in new areas- pray for, equip, encourage
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Keeping Sex Inside of Marriage
Keeping Sex Inside of Marriage
It's better to look at sex and the body as a whole theme in Scripture. Here are some themes and verses that back them.
A couple of things to begin with:
- Let’s talk about "sex outside of marriage" (you can be "married" and have sex - with someone else! - that's not intended by God.) Pre-marital sex is just sex outside of marriage.
- I like to think in terms of, God's Design for Sex, What the Bible Has to Say About Sex, Sex in all of its Beauty. This way, we aren’t focusing on what we can't do (and how far we can push the envelope without crossing the line), but instead focusing on what to do. That's what the Bible wholly talks about - the life we are called to live, rather than the one that we're not called to live.
Bible and Sex:
I see the purpose of sex, as outlined in Scripture, as the central intimate act for a man and women. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, it's the unique, intimate act between a man and woman. It's a coming together on all of those levels.
Man and women coming together in marriage is a big deal:
Matthew 19.1-6 - in response to a question about separation, Jesus says it's not that easy. In marriage (and sex), the man and woman are bound together as one being. Just as you can't separate your own body into two parts. Put sex into this mix - the most intimate act emotionally, physically, spiritually - and it gets really messy. Trying to separate from each of those "joining togethers" is, it seems according to the text, a myth.
Our bodies don't belong to us:
1 Corinthians 6.12-20 - our body belongs to God. He purchased us with the death of Jesus. And how we use our bodies’ matters to God, and is an opportunity to reveal His greatness. Sexual immorality is a sin against this body and the intention that we glorify Him (display His greatness in how we use this body).
Sexual purity is God's will for us:
1 Thess. 4.3-8 - one of the few places in the entire Bible (1 Thess 5.18 is another) where "God's will" is stated in those words. Our body is to be used for honor, and intended for sex in all of its beauty. Sexual purity mean keeping sex in its context and design (marriage).
Our bodies are a living act of worship to God:
Romans 12.1-2 - again, our bodies aren't for our purposes. Our bodies are a place and instrument of worship to God. How we use our bodies matters to God, and it matters to show God in the world. Even if the world doesn't give its bodies to the glory of God, Paul challenges to not be conformed to the way the world operates, but be transformed.
Here also is a section in the commentary, "Bible Knowledge Commentary" on the book of Song of Songs:
"The purpose of the book is to extol human love and marriage. Though at first this seems strange, on reflection it is not surprising for God to have included in the biblical canon a book endorsing the beauty and purity of marital love. God created man and woman (Gen. 1:27; 2:20-23) and established and sanctioned marriage (Gen. 2:24). Since the world views sex so sordidly and perverts and exploits it so persistently and since so many marriages are crumbling because of lack of love, commitment, and devotion, it is advantageous to have a book in the Bible that gives God’s endorsement of marital love as wholesome and pure."
On the following podcast (Sex and the Christian Hope), Tim Keller does say that the Greek word (in 1 Cor 6) for "sexual immorality" means having sex outside of marriage. About 8 mins in to the podcast.
God created sex. He's all for sex. There's no one more in favor of sex than God - but in the context (marriage) and purpose (glory) that He designed. That, I think, is sex in all its beauty.
It's better to look at sex and the body as a whole theme in Scripture. Here are some themes and verses that back them.
A couple of things to begin with:
- Let’s talk about "sex outside of marriage" (you can be "married" and have sex - with someone else! - that's not intended by God.) Pre-marital sex is just sex outside of marriage.
- I like to think in terms of, God's Design for Sex, What the Bible Has to Say About Sex, Sex in all of its Beauty. This way, we aren’t focusing on what we can't do (and how far we can push the envelope without crossing the line), but instead focusing on what to do. That's what the Bible wholly talks about - the life we are called to live, rather than the one that we're not called to live.
Bible and Sex:
I see the purpose of sex, as outlined in Scripture, as the central intimate act for a man and women. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, it's the unique, intimate act between a man and woman. It's a coming together on all of those levels.
Man and women coming together in marriage is a big deal:
Matthew 19.1-6 - in response to a question about separation, Jesus says it's not that easy. In marriage (and sex), the man and woman are bound together as one being. Just as you can't separate your own body into two parts. Put sex into this mix - the most intimate act emotionally, physically, spiritually - and it gets really messy. Trying to separate from each of those "joining togethers" is, it seems according to the text, a myth.
Our bodies don't belong to us:
1 Corinthians 6.12-20 - our body belongs to God. He purchased us with the death of Jesus. And how we use our bodies’ matters to God, and is an opportunity to reveal His greatness. Sexual immorality is a sin against this body and the intention that we glorify Him (display His greatness in how we use this body).
Sexual purity is God's will for us:
1 Thess. 4.3-8 - one of the few places in the entire Bible (1 Thess 5.18 is another) where "God's will" is stated in those words. Our body is to be used for honor, and intended for sex in all of its beauty. Sexual purity mean keeping sex in its context and design (marriage).
Our bodies are a living act of worship to God:
Romans 12.1-2 - again, our bodies aren't for our purposes. Our bodies are a place and instrument of worship to God. How we use our bodies matters to God, and it matters to show God in the world. Even if the world doesn't give its bodies to the glory of God, Paul challenges to not be conformed to the way the world operates, but be transformed.
Here also is a section in the commentary, "Bible Knowledge Commentary" on the book of Song of Songs:
"The purpose of the book is to extol human love and marriage. Though at first this seems strange, on reflection it is not surprising for God to have included in the biblical canon a book endorsing the beauty and purity of marital love. God created man and woman (Gen. 1:27; 2:20-23) and established and sanctioned marriage (Gen. 2:24). Since the world views sex so sordidly and perverts and exploits it so persistently and since so many marriages are crumbling because of lack of love, commitment, and devotion, it is advantageous to have a book in the Bible that gives God’s endorsement of marital love as wholesome and pure."
On the following podcast (Sex and the Christian Hope), Tim Keller does say that the Greek word (in 1 Cor 6) for "sexual immorality" means having sex outside of marriage. About 8 mins in to the podcast.
God created sex. He's all for sex. There's no one more in favor of sex than God - but in the context (marriage) and purpose (glory) that He designed. That, I think, is sex in all its beauty.
Friday, May 21, 2010
statue of steel and sandstone
statue is under the rock I just needed to chip away what was around it
God's work for our life is a statue.
It is hidden under layers. We need to chip away the layers to reveal the stone. There are many choices in life. We need to act. If our choices are under God and moral He will not let us chip away at the statue. It is a different type of stone. The statue is made of material that is so hard it is impossible to break. It can only be broken by deliberate sin and not by accidend. We will not reveal the statue if we do not act. It will remain under the debris. We will damage it if we are immoral. We can burn through the steel. But when we let go of the flame and pick up the chizzle again the rest of the statue can start to be revealed again. No future damage will be done. God can remold us with his own fire.
God opens and closes doors.
We had a hard time picking a house and knowing if it was God's will or not. There are many nice ones. Are any perfect? But He shut doors that we tried to open. He gave me a price not to go over. I felt it was supernatural. He told us about this house just as it was on the market. If we had not been obsorbed in these other homes we may not have been looking or may have already bought the wrong one. But He made it possible with the repairs. The sellers took care of the windows. He set us up with Rose and Edmund. He helped us with Matt. He had the estimate with Chris. He softened Michael and Dudley. You are before us Lord. May we give credit where credit is due. We can try but success is up to you. And you even used this to remind Tasha how important it is to look for a job now and not wait for the perfect one but instead apply to many of them. If you want something done and it is important to you, you open up the pathways. We still need to work but the fruit is greater.
I hope this house is important to you and a part of you good plan. I know we could do good without it too. This would be a nice place to go from. Thanks Jesus.
Adam
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Marriage Counseling from Teal
1. Love Unconditionally – Helping your spouse to know that they are Loved, Valued and Accepted. I am called to have unconditional love – to Love my spouse no matter what they do. No matter if they love me or not. It’s not a 50/50 thing, where I will love them if they love me and we can do it together. I am called to love my spouse UNCONDITIONALLY. Even if they do not love me. Even if they are mean or hateful or sinful, etc. It does not matter if they cannot say they love me. Or if they never apologize or if they do or do not want to be married to me. I need to love them and create the best environment for them to thrive in and love me back. This is ONLY possible through God. Or rather it is only possible by God living in me.
2. Forgive – This is between me and God primarily (He commands us to forgive one another in love)
I need to be able to forgive no matter what the other person has done or continues to do (outside of physical or mental abuse, etc) – with no apology or anything said about it. Forgiveness is a point and a process. We need to forgive and continue forgiving. A test of whether you have truly forgiven someone is:
1) Do I use it against them to them?,
2) Do I use it against them to others?
3) Do I dwell on it?
There may be consequences; there may be hurt.
This is ONLY possible through God. Or rather God is the only one who can do this and so we need Him living in us.
3. Apologize - At the same time I need to apologize without a hint of Accusation. I must always take responsibility for my own actions.
4. Put the others needs above my own. In all things, think of the others needs before my own. Again, in all things, help them to know they are Loved, Valued and Accepted by God and by me.
5. It ALWAYS matters what I do. It only matters what I do because that is all that is within my control. I need to (and God asks me to) forgive and love NO MATTER WHAT the other person does ALWAYS. I need to continue to create an environment that gives my spouse the best chance of loving and forgiving me. Do not get caught in the trap that the ball is now in the other’s court. I have done all I can do. Or it doesn’t matter what I do, because they can always find a way to discount it, if they want to. It doesn’t matter what they do with it. I can only be responsible for what I do and I am called to always love, forgive, apologize and put the other’s needs before my own.
6. Communication Order: Feel – Think – Act Meet the other person (anyone) where they are at and then SLOWLY track with them through all 3 stages in the order they want to go in. Are they using I Feel words, I Think words, or I want to Do words?
7. Primary Feelings:
Glad
Sad
Bad
Mad
Fearful
Use the exercise of 1) what did you feel, #2) How strong on a 1 to 10, #3) Looking objectively at the situation, how strong of an event was it on a 1 to 10.
8. Conflicts
Annoyance – Forbear
Offense/hurt – Forgive
Sin – Rebuke, Forgive
Problem - Solve
9. Conflict Resolution Models
1) Win – I win, you lose
2) Withdrawal – I give up
3) Yield – Not important enough to expend the energy to enter conflict about
4) Compromise – We both win some and lose some. We give up battles to win the war.
5) Resolve – Because of our love of the other, taking all things into consideration, this REALLY IS what we want to do. We love each other and although, if we were making this decision by ourselves and only thinking of ourselves, it may be different, as we make this decision in community and love, this truly is what we want to do.
2. Forgive – This is between me and God primarily (He commands us to forgive one another in love)
I need to be able to forgive no matter what the other person has done or continues to do (outside of physical or mental abuse, etc) – with no apology or anything said about it. Forgiveness is a point and a process. We need to forgive and continue forgiving. A test of whether you have truly forgiven someone is:
1) Do I use it against them to them?,
2) Do I use it against them to others?
3) Do I dwell on it?
There may be consequences; there may be hurt.
This is ONLY possible through God. Or rather God is the only one who can do this and so we need Him living in us.
3. Apologize - At the same time I need to apologize without a hint of Accusation. I must always take responsibility for my own actions.
4. Put the others needs above my own. In all things, think of the others needs before my own. Again, in all things, help them to know they are Loved, Valued and Accepted by God and by me.
5. It ALWAYS matters what I do. It only matters what I do because that is all that is within my control. I need to (and God asks me to) forgive and love NO MATTER WHAT the other person does ALWAYS. I need to continue to create an environment that gives my spouse the best chance of loving and forgiving me. Do not get caught in the trap that the ball is now in the other’s court. I have done all I can do. Or it doesn’t matter what I do, because they can always find a way to discount it, if they want to. It doesn’t matter what they do with it. I can only be responsible for what I do and I am called to always love, forgive, apologize and put the other’s needs before my own.
6. Communication Order: Feel – Think – Act Meet the other person (anyone) where they are at and then SLOWLY track with them through all 3 stages in the order they want to go in. Are they using I Feel words, I Think words, or I want to Do words?
7. Primary Feelings:
Glad
Sad
Bad
Mad
Fearful
Use the exercise of 1) what did you feel, #2) How strong on a 1 to 10, #3) Looking objectively at the situation, how strong of an event was it on a 1 to 10.
8. Conflicts
Annoyance – Forbear
Offense/hurt – Forgive
Sin – Rebuke, Forgive
Problem - Solve
9. Conflict Resolution Models
1) Win – I win, you lose
2) Withdrawal – I give up
3) Yield – Not important enough to expend the energy to enter conflict about
4) Compromise – We both win some and lose some. We give up battles to win the war.
5) Resolve – Because of our love of the other, taking all things into consideration, this REALLY IS what we want to do. We love each other and although, if we were making this decision by ourselves and only thinking of ourselves, it may be different, as we make this decision in community and love, this truly is what we want to do.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Stories
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB6_QMHf0Uk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7dpGWYZMDc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gimac2VEQH8&playnext_from=TL&videos=5Iu7M8fjvJs&feature=grec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7dpGWYZMDc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gimac2VEQH8&playnext_from=TL&videos=5Iu7M8fjvJs&feature=grec
Monday, April 5, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thoughts on School
Right now I am interested in doing some youth ministry which I have some experience in but would probably benefit from conferences more than school.
I also love to see people developed. I love to encourage and equip people. To grow in their relationship with God, to fulfill their potential. But I am not sure where my specific giftings fit in. I love to ask questions. I love to help people to sort through things and to collect resources to help out.
So right now I am thinking about the biblical counseling route. I think it would be very challenging to do that but probably very beneficial. But I don't know how far to go with it. I am probably more interested in coaching people through difficult situations and helping them to maximize their lives than to do long term counseling of thing that are very serous. I think I would probably loose steam or take their burdens home with me. I guess counseling covers a wide range of people and issues but I don't really know the difference between what you'd learn in a biblical counseling degree or what life/spiritual coaching would be like if a program like that existed.
There is also the route of becoming a certified counselor which would be more education but would allow me to be considered a counselor and not just a guy with a counseling masters. I am not sure how much this would help/ hurt in different areas.
There is just a lot to consider and I don't have a ton of experience in this type of stuff but am very interested. I know I want to go to seminary and to be involved in ministry. I may call Biblical soon to hear from the about the programs and the different options after graduating.
Thanks for the questions and let me know if you had any thoughts.
I am excited about learning but I am not sure how important the credentials are to the kind of people you would meet with.
I also love to see people developed. I love to encourage and equip people. To grow in their relationship with God, to fulfill their potential. But I am not sure where my specific giftings fit in. I love to ask questions. I love to help people to sort through things and to collect resources to help out.
So right now I am thinking about the biblical counseling route. I think it would be very challenging to do that but probably very beneficial. But I don't know how far to go with it. I am probably more interested in coaching people through difficult situations and helping them to maximize their lives than to do long term counseling of thing that are very serous. I think I would probably loose steam or take their burdens home with me. I guess counseling covers a wide range of people and issues but I don't really know the difference between what you'd learn in a biblical counseling degree or what life/spiritual coaching would be like if a program like that existed.
There is also the route of becoming a certified counselor which would be more education but would allow me to be considered a counselor and not just a guy with a counseling masters. I am not sure how much this would help/ hurt in different areas.
There is just a lot to consider and I don't have a ton of experience in this type of stuff but am very interested. I know I want to go to seminary and to be involved in ministry. I may call Biblical soon to hear from the about the programs and the different options after graduating.
Thanks for the questions and let me know if you had any thoughts.
I am excited about learning but I am not sure how important the credentials are to the kind of people you would meet with.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Note of encouragement from Lauren /Teal story time
Wonderful ICCP servants,
I just received a thank you postcard from you guys for a donation I gave hilariously (anyone remember that motto back in Fall 2007?) at the end of 2009. It absolutely made my day. I now have it tucked into my car visor to remind me to pray for the incredible ministry going on over there in Aix everyday even though I left it two years ago. ICCP was certainly a highlight in my experience in France and I have so so much respect for you who continue to run the ministry there that is so unique to any other I know of. Not too many churches have a congregation of locals, foreigners, and students who only typically stay for a number of months that you can count on one hand.
Thank you for sending out an email at the end of last year to remind me that ICCP is still serving Aix as actively as when I left and that is still has financial needs even though I am not present to be reminded of them. It is my privilege to support you and I am joy-filled to be praying and serving with you once again.
Hilariously,
Lauren Watka
The stories below represent French Families, Australian Families, German, Belgian, English, American, Chinese, Japanese, North African and many other nationalities. We are the International Christian Community of Provence!
· Many, many people are processing their deeper questions about God in Alpha.
· Teal is helping him process God’s goodness in the midst of his daughter’s illness.
· She came to have tea and brought her Muslim friends in full head dress.
· She is Chinese and opened her heart during our small group prayer time at church Sunday evening.
· He came into contact with our community, connected with Dom and then came to church the next day. He now wants to meet to talk more about who God is.
· He got interested in Community groups via Bill’s FaceBook and is going to start coming to a group on Monday nights.
· Teal prayed several weeks ago that 5 people would want to be baptized, and they are coming one by one.
· Their neighbor wants to start reading the Bible. He says “If I’m going to criticize something, I want to know what I am criticizing.”
· She is a student in Aix for a year. She feels like she is in Aix for a purpose, and perhaps it is to further explore spirituality. She considers herself a deist but feels tugs toward Christianity.
· Her friend of 30 years died and our community got to grieve and praise God for her friends life.
· So many times she has felt truly blessed by things related to ICCP - from feeling alone when she first arrived, to meeting a group of Christians who felt like family, to being able to lead praise worship with the band.
· Kelsey met her family, and invited them to the Kid’s night out. The daughter came and had such a good time that she asked her mom if she could go to Sunday School. The family came to church this week and the mom said, “It’s been far too long since I’ve been to church. It’s been a hard past few years in Aix but I feel like this is going to be a better year.”
· She wants us to know that, “What you and all the ICCP folks do is making a difference and touching lives, it has certainly touched mine.”
· An au pair shared that she has been a Christian her entire life (gone to Christian High School, Christian University, etc) and ICCP is the first place that she has felt accepted, welcomed without judgment, and clearly seen God moving. She feels changed from this community.
I just received a thank you postcard from you guys for a donation I gave hilariously (anyone remember that motto back in Fall 2007?) at the end of 2009. It absolutely made my day. I now have it tucked into my car visor to remind me to pray for the incredible ministry going on over there in Aix everyday even though I left it two years ago. ICCP was certainly a highlight in my experience in France and I have so so much respect for you who continue to run the ministry there that is so unique to any other I know of. Not too many churches have a congregation of locals, foreigners, and students who only typically stay for a number of months that you can count on one hand.
Thank you for sending out an email at the end of last year to remind me that ICCP is still serving Aix as actively as when I left and that is still has financial needs even though I am not present to be reminded of them. It is my privilege to support you and I am joy-filled to be praying and serving with you once again.
Hilariously,
Lauren Watka
The stories below represent French Families, Australian Families, German, Belgian, English, American, Chinese, Japanese, North African and many other nationalities. We are the International Christian Community of Provence!
· Many, many people are processing their deeper questions about God in Alpha.
· Teal is helping him process God’s goodness in the midst of his daughter’s illness.
· She came to have tea and brought her Muslim friends in full head dress.
· She is Chinese and opened her heart during our small group prayer time at church Sunday evening.
· He came into contact with our community, connected with Dom and then came to church the next day. He now wants to meet to talk more about who God is.
· He got interested in Community groups via Bill’s FaceBook and is going to start coming to a group on Monday nights.
· Teal prayed several weeks ago that 5 people would want to be baptized, and they are coming one by one.
· Their neighbor wants to start reading the Bible. He says “If I’m going to criticize something, I want to know what I am criticizing.”
· She is a student in Aix for a year. She feels like she is in Aix for a purpose, and perhaps it is to further explore spirituality. She considers herself a deist but feels tugs toward Christianity.
· Her friend of 30 years died and our community got to grieve and praise God for her friends life.
· So many times she has felt truly blessed by things related to ICCP - from feeling alone when she first arrived, to meeting a group of Christians who felt like family, to being able to lead praise worship with the band.
· Kelsey met her family, and invited them to the Kid’s night out. The daughter came and had such a good time that she asked her mom if she could go to Sunday School. The family came to church this week and the mom said, “It’s been far too long since I’ve been to church. It’s been a hard past few years in Aix but I feel like this is going to be a better year.”
· She wants us to know that, “What you and all the ICCP folks do is making a difference and touching lives, it has certainly touched mine.”
· An au pair shared that she has been a Christian her entire life (gone to Christian High School, Christian University, etc) and ICCP is the first place that she has felt accepted, welcomed without judgment, and clearly seen God moving. She feels changed from this community.
Matt's book on the story for youth group
http://www.echothestory.com/
Youtube videos like me church
http://www.youtube.com/user/IgniterMedia#p/u/7/6ET-bo5CSZk
Also sent
http://www.rethinkingyouthministry.com/
Parable videos
http://www.illuminatingunderstanding.com/?id=5173276
Youtube videos like me church
http://www.youtube.com/user/IgniterMedia#p/u/7/6ET-bo5CSZk
Also sent
http://www.rethinkingyouthministry.com/
Parable videos
http://www.illuminatingunderstanding.com/?id=5173276
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Hello ,
In talking with some of the youth group families I have seen that not every parent has other parents (and especially other multi-cultural families) to walk besides them in their journey as a parent. Many of you are in a unique situation where you are raising your children in a culture that is different from your own or your spouses. This raises a unique set of parenting issues. So I have been looking for ways to connect the families who have children involved in the youth group and to offer tools to equip them. In my search I found that a good friend of mine, Kristen (Blanden) Montigny, was offering a course based on the Faber-Mazlish books and studies called "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk." (And who doesn't want that?!) My hope it to get a group of parents to go through the workshop together. Focusing in on this area of life will improve it and lead to growth as you learn new things about yourself and your family. It is also a great chance to meet some new people.
Come to the information day;
Kristen will be doing an information day to share some of the details of the workshops and answer any questions that you might have. Timing will be based on your availability so please let me know what time is best for you; weekday mornings, weekday evenings, or weekends and please respond with a 'yes 'or 'no' to let us know if you are interested.
About the Workshops...
The goal of the How To Talk So Kids Will Listen Workshop is to give you practical, effective methods of communication that will make your relationship with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
You’ll learn how to:
° Handle children’s negative emotions, their anger, frustration, deception, sadness in a way that communicates your understanding and support while maintaining healthy boundaries…
° Encourage their cooperation and motivate them to participate willingly in everyday tasks without the battle of the wills…
° Avoid resorting to punishment and allowing children the opportunity to change their negative behavior and make amends for their mistakes…
° Encourage children to maximize their potential, develop their autonomy and increase their self confidence
° Enable them to stop playing roles and behaving like the bully, the lazy one, the slow learner, the slob….
° Resolve family conflicts in a calm and respectful environment.
How The Workshops Function
In each of the 7 sessions the group explores different communication and relational themes. Each session presents a variety of communication tools and the opportunity to put them into practice through exercises, role-plays, comic strips…etc. The purpose of the exercises is to consider a variety of solutions to the problems we face in our adult/child relations and to see how we can adapt these tools to our individual needs.
About Kristen...
Kristen is both a teacher and personal coach for adults and the mother of two lovely children. Kristen began training adults in France in 1997 at the end of her university studies. She has been using How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk since October of 2006. After observing positive improvements in her own family’s relations, she felt compelled to share these methods with other adults. So she attended a Facilitator Training with Roseline Roy and Dr. Sophie Benkemoun in Paris in May 2007 and is currently facilitating the How To Talk Workshops in English and in French in Aix-en-Provence.
I will be attending the workshops and information days along with several parents who have already signed up. So I hope that you take this opportunity too!
Hope to see you there,
Adam
In talking with some of the youth group families I have seen that not every parent has other parents (and especially other multi-cultural families) to walk besides them in their journey as a parent. Many of you are in a unique situation where you are raising your children in a culture that is different from your own or your spouses. This raises a unique set of parenting issues. So I have been looking for ways to connect the families who have children involved in the youth group and to offer tools to equip them. In my search I found that a good friend of mine, Kristen (Blanden) Montigny, was offering a course based on the Faber-Mazlish books and studies called "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk." (And who doesn't want that?!) My hope it to get a group of parents to go through the workshop together. Focusing in on this area of life will improve it and lead to growth as you learn new things about yourself and your family. It is also a great chance to meet some new people.
Come to the information day;
Kristen will be doing an information day to share some of the details of the workshops and answer any questions that you might have. Timing will be based on your availability so please let me know what time is best for you; weekday mornings, weekday evenings, or weekends and please respond with a 'yes 'or 'no' to let us know if you are interested.
About the Workshops...
The goal of the How To Talk So Kids Will Listen Workshop is to give you practical, effective methods of communication that will make your relationship with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
You’ll learn how to:
° Handle children’s negative emotions, their anger, frustration, deception, sadness in a way that communicates your understanding and support while maintaining healthy boundaries…
° Encourage their cooperation and motivate them to participate willingly in everyday tasks without the battle of the wills…
° Avoid resorting to punishment and allowing children the opportunity to change their negative behavior and make amends for their mistakes…
° Encourage children to maximize their potential, develop their autonomy and increase their self confidence
° Enable them to stop playing roles and behaving like the bully, the lazy one, the slow learner, the slob….
° Resolve family conflicts in a calm and respectful environment.
How The Workshops Function
In each of the 7 sessions the group explores different communication and relational themes. Each session presents a variety of communication tools and the opportunity to put them into practice through exercises, role-plays, comic strips…etc. The purpose of the exercises is to consider a variety of solutions to the problems we face in our adult/child relations and to see how we can adapt these tools to our individual needs.
About Kristen...
Kristen is both a teacher and personal coach for adults and the mother of two lovely children. Kristen began training adults in France in 1997 at the end of her university studies. She has been using How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk since October of 2006. After observing positive improvements in her own family’s relations, she felt compelled to share these methods with other adults. So she attended a Facilitator Training with Roseline Roy and Dr. Sophie Benkemoun in Paris in May 2007 and is currently facilitating the How To Talk Workshops in English and in French in Aix-en-Provence.
I will be attending the workshops and information days along with several parents who have already signed up. So I hope that you take this opportunity too!
Hope to see you there,
Adam
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Alix's post :)
Am missing THEM PEOPLE, the snow, the boarding, the cabintimes, the counselors, the evening games, the lasertag, the cold showers, the piano room, the songs, the moose song, DC, Youlim, Andre, Darling Julia, Leo, Kristen, Yohanna, Audrey, Tasha, Adam, Buan, Damien, Allan :( And we've only been back 1 hour. Next Year's winter camp, here we come ♥
Youlim Natalie Jun ="WHAAT?!", "IS NICE!", "MA BICHE! *KISS KISSS* André Lichtle, "I KNOW THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW LIKE THE COLOR OF MY UNDERPANTS - Me :) ", "Erm, Joanna Pearce you've got carrot all over you..", "Darling you don't know :D - Julian :D" Aww missing
Youlim Natalie Jun ="WHAAT?!", "IS NICE!", "MA BICHE! *KISS KISSS* André Lichtle, "I KNOW THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW LIKE THE COLOR OF MY UNDERPANTS - Me :) ", "Erm, Joanna Pearce you've got carrot all over you..", "Darling you don't know :D - Julian :D" Aww missing
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
resources on jobs occupations career counsel links
1)Occupational Fields Research Handbook-
Botha a book and a website, and maintained by the department of Labor, it gives up to date information on many key professional occupations.
http://www.bls.gov/OCO/
What color is your parachute- job assessment book and website
www.jobhuntersbible.com
2) General
The Riley Guide- Excellent comprehensive site with many linds
www.rileyguide.com
3) Job Searches
-JobBankUSAMetasearch
www.jobbankusa.com
-America's Job Bank
www.ajb.dni.us/
-Intercrisco- jobs in Christian organizations (fee required)
www.jobleads.org
-www.monster.com
-Salary Information in US
www.salary.com
4) Company Research- Hoover's online- info and links to 2000 corporate websites
www.hoovers.com
5) Myers-Briggs Books-
-Type Talk- Kroeger and Thiesen- good professional descriptions
-Life Types- Hirsh, Kummerow- Each type is divided into living, learning, laboring, leading, leisure, loving, and losing out
-Type Talk at Work- Kroeger- 16 personality types function in work place
Botha a book and a website, and maintained by the department of Labor, it gives up to date information on many key professional occupations.
http://www.bls.gov/OCO/
What color is your parachute- job assessment book and website
www.jobhuntersbible.com
2) General
The Riley Guide- Excellent comprehensive site with many linds
www.rileyguide.com
3) Job Searches
-JobBankUSAMetasearch
www.jobbankusa.com
-America's Job Bank
www.ajb.dni.us/
-Intercrisco- jobs in Christian organizations (fee required)
www.jobleads.org
-www.monster.com
-Salary Information in US
www.salary.com
4) Company Research- Hoover's online- info and links to 2000 corporate websites
www.hoovers.com
5) Myers-Briggs Books-
-Type Talk- Kroeger and Thiesen- good professional descriptions
-Life Types- Hirsh, Kummerow- Each type is divided into living, learning, laboring, leading, leisure, loving, and losing out
-Type Talk at Work- Kroeger- 16 personality types function in work place
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Pie crust recipe from Michele
I got this recipe from my grandmother, who said she got it from an "old Croatian woman."
this recipe makes 1 double-crusted pie, so if you only need the bottom part you half the quantities, obviously.
1 cup shortening or margarine
1/2 cup water
1 pinch salt (1/2 tsp to 1 tsp)
3 cups all-purpose flour
heat water and shortening or margarine over low heat in a saucepan until just melted (do not boil). Dump flour directly into the saucepan all at once and mix into the warm shortening mixture with a wooden spoon until all the flour is moistened. Spoon half of the mixture onto a sheet of wax paper, keeping the other half warm in the saucepan (you cannot work with this dough cold, so you need to keep it warm). Palm the lump on the wax paper into a patty and roll with a rolling pin between two sheets of wax paper (i.e., place a second sheet on top of the dough).
when it's rolled out, you peel off the top sheet, then turn over the dough onto a pie tin and peel off the bottom sheet. If the dough breaks, you can simply press the broken-off pieces back onto the rest of the dough, and you can keep molding it and shaping it as long as it is warm. If it gets too cool to work with, you can heat it back up in the saucepan and start over.
What was the other recipe you wanted -- the zucchini tarte, right? i need to scan it so I will send it later.
Bon appetit !
Michèle
this recipe makes 1 double-crusted pie, so if you only need the bottom part you half the quantities, obviously.
1 cup shortening or margarine
1/2 cup water
1 pinch salt (1/2 tsp to 1 tsp)
3 cups all-purpose flour
heat water and shortening or margarine over low heat in a saucepan until just melted (do not boil). Dump flour directly into the saucepan all at once and mix into the warm shortening mixture with a wooden spoon until all the flour is moistened. Spoon half of the mixture onto a sheet of wax paper, keeping the other half warm in the saucepan (you cannot work with this dough cold, so you need to keep it warm). Palm the lump on the wax paper into a patty and roll with a rolling pin between two sheets of wax paper (i.e., place a second sheet on top of the dough).
when it's rolled out, you peel off the top sheet, then turn over the dough onto a pie tin and peel off the bottom sheet. If the dough breaks, you can simply press the broken-off pieces back onto the rest of the dough, and you can keep molding it and shaping it as long as it is warm. If it gets too cool to work with, you can heat it back up in the saucepan and start over.
What was the other recipe you wanted -- the zucchini tarte, right? i need to scan it so I will send it later.
Bon appetit !
Michèle
Monday, February 1, 2010
Alpha link
http://www.htb.org.uk/media/media/all/all/Alpha/all
http://www.htb.org.uk/downloads?search=alpha
http://www.htb.org.uk/downloads?search=alpha
http://www.htb.org.uk/downloads?search=alpha
http://www.htb.org.uk/downloads?search=alpha
Friday, January 29, 2010
Saule
Hey Adam and Tasha,
I just wanted to pass on some awesome newsSaule came to Community Group tonight. I don't know her story with God, but tonight she volunteered to pray for one of the other people there and something going on in their life. Besides praying for that, she prayed the most beautiful prayer thanking God for hearing us and loving us.
She also took a turn reading from the Bible as we went around. It was great. When she finished her 2 or 3 verses, Kelsey cheered for her.
I am so glad you guys took her in for Christmas dinner. I think that move is going to change her life.
Yeah Jesus.
Bill
Hi!:)
How are you? What is new?
I just wanted to ask, can you send me pictures from our Christmas day?:) Thank you very much, for your kindness, that you didn't let me to be alone on the Christmas day:))) I'm very thankful for you!:)
Take care
See you soon!
Saule
I just wanted to pass on some awesome newsSaule came to Community Group tonight. I don't know her story with God, but tonight she volunteered to pray for one of the other people there and something going on in their life. Besides praying for that, she prayed the most beautiful prayer thanking God for hearing us and loving us.
She also took a turn reading from the Bible as we went around. It was great. When she finished her 2 or 3 verses, Kelsey cheered for her.
I am so glad you guys took her in for Christmas dinner. I think that move is going to change her life.
Yeah Jesus.
Bill
Hi!:)
How are you? What is new?
I just wanted to ask, can you send me pictures from our Christmas day?:) Thank you very much, for your kindness, that you didn't let me to be alone on the Christmas day:))) I'm very thankful for you!:)
Take care
See you soon!
Saule
From Fabermazlish- examples of unproductive parenting
I. Blaming and Accusing
"Your dirty fingerprints are on the door agian! Why do you always do that?.. What's the matter with you anyway? Can't you ever do anything right?... How many times do I have o tell you to use the doorknob? The trouble with you is you never listen."
II. Name Calling
"It's below freezing today and you're wearing a light jacket! How dumb can you get? Boy, that is a really stupid thing to do."
"Here, let me fix the bike for you. You know how unmechanical you are."
"Look at the way you eat! You're disgusting."
"You have to be a slob to keep such a filthy room. You live like an animal."
III. Threats
"Just you touch that lamp once more and you'll get a smack."
"If you don't spit that gum out this minute, i'm going to open your mouth and take it out."
"If you're not finished dressing by the time I count to three, I'm leaving without you!"
IV. Commands
"I want you to clean up your room right this minute."
"Help me carry in the packages. Hurry up!"
"You still didn't take out the garbage? Do it now... What are you waiting for? Move!"
V. Lecturing and Moralizing
"Do you think that was a nice thing to do- to grab that book from me? I can see you don't realize how important good manners are. What you have to understand is that if we expect people to be polite to us, then we must be polite to them in return. You wouldn't want anyone to grab from you, would you? Then you shouldn't grab from anyone else. We do unto others as we would have others do unto us."
VI.Warnings
"Watch it, you'll bun yourself."
"Careful, you'll get hit by a car!"
"Don't climb there! Do you want to fall?"
"Put on your sweaer on you'll catch a bad cold."
VII. Martydom Statements
"Will you two stop that screaming! What are you tryinng to do to me... make me sick...give me a heart attack?"
"Wait till you have children of your own. Then you'll know what aggrivation is."
"Do you see these grey hairs? That's because of you. You're putting me in my grave."
VIII. Comparisons
"Why can't you be more like your brother? He always gets his work done ahead of time."
"Lisa has such beauiful table manners. You'd never catch her eating with her fingers."
"Why don't you dress the way Gary does? Hw always looks so neat- short hair, shirt tucked in. It's a pleasure to look at him."
IX. Sarcasm
"You knew you had a test tomorrow and left your book in school? Oh smart! That was a brilliant thing to do."
"Is that what your're wearing- polka dots and plaid? Well you ought to get a lot of compliments today."
"Is that the homework you're bringing to school tomorrow? Well maybe your teacher can read Chinese; I can't"
X. Prophecy
"You lied to me about your report card, didn't you? Do you know what you're going to be when you grow up? A person nobody can trust."
"Just keep on being selfish. You'll se, no one is ever going to want to play with you. You'll have no friends."
"All you ever do is complain. You've never once tried to help yourself. I can see you ten years from now- stuck with the same problem and still complaining."
What methods did your parents use to get you to do what they wanted you to do?
Do you fall into the same patterns?
What parenting styles have you used?
"Your dirty fingerprints are on the door agian! Why do you always do that?.. What's the matter with you anyway? Can't you ever do anything right?... How many times do I have o tell you to use the doorknob? The trouble with you is you never listen."
II. Name Calling
"It's below freezing today and you're wearing a light jacket! How dumb can you get? Boy, that is a really stupid thing to do."
"Here, let me fix the bike for you. You know how unmechanical you are."
"Look at the way you eat! You're disgusting."
"You have to be a slob to keep such a filthy room. You live like an animal."
III. Threats
"Just you touch that lamp once more and you'll get a smack."
"If you don't spit that gum out this minute, i'm going to open your mouth and take it out."
"If you're not finished dressing by the time I count to three, I'm leaving without you!"
IV. Commands
"I want you to clean up your room right this minute."
"Help me carry in the packages. Hurry up!"
"You still didn't take out the garbage? Do it now... What are you waiting for? Move!"
V. Lecturing and Moralizing
"Do you think that was a nice thing to do- to grab that book from me? I can see you don't realize how important good manners are. What you have to understand is that if we expect people to be polite to us, then we must be polite to them in return. You wouldn't want anyone to grab from you, would you? Then you shouldn't grab from anyone else. We do unto others as we would have others do unto us."
VI.Warnings
"Watch it, you'll bun yourself."
"Careful, you'll get hit by a car!"
"Don't climb there! Do you want to fall?"
"Put on your sweaer on you'll catch a bad cold."
VII. Martydom Statements
"Will you two stop that screaming! What are you tryinng to do to me... make me sick...give me a heart attack?"
"Wait till you have children of your own. Then you'll know what aggrivation is."
"Do you see these grey hairs? That's because of you. You're putting me in my grave."
VIII. Comparisons
"Why can't you be more like your brother? He always gets his work done ahead of time."
"Lisa has such beauiful table manners. You'd never catch her eating with her fingers."
"Why don't you dress the way Gary does? Hw always looks so neat- short hair, shirt tucked in. It's a pleasure to look at him."
IX. Sarcasm
"You knew you had a test tomorrow and left your book in school? Oh smart! That was a brilliant thing to do."
"Is that what your're wearing- polka dots and plaid? Well you ought to get a lot of compliments today."
"Is that the homework you're bringing to school tomorrow? Well maybe your teacher can read Chinese; I can't"
X. Prophecy
"You lied to me about your report card, didn't you? Do you know what you're going to be when you grow up? A person nobody can trust."
"Just keep on being selfish. You'll se, no one is ever going to want to play with you. You'll have no friends."
"All you ever do is complain. You've never once tried to help yourself. I can see you ten years from now- stuck with the same problem and still complaining."
What methods did your parents use to get you to do what they wanted you to do?
Do you fall into the same patterns?
What parenting styles have you used?
Bill Bryson's Amazing us
INTRODUCTION
Welcome. And congratulations. I am delighted that you could make it. Getting here wasn't easy, I know. In fact, I suspect it was a little tougher than you realize.
To begin with, for you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years (we hope) these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, cooperative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agreeable but generally underappreciated state known as existence.
Why atoms take this trouble is a bit of a puzzle. Being you is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, your atoms don't actually care about you-indeed, don't even know that you are there. They don't even know that they are there. They are mindless particles, after all, and not even themselves alive. (It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but all of which had once been you.) Yet somehow for the period of your existence they will answer to a single overarching impulse: to keep you you.
The bad news is that atoms are fickle and their time of devotion is fleeting-fleeting indeed. Even a long human life adds up to only about 650,000 hours. And when that modest milestone flashes past, or at some other point thereabouts, for reasons unknown your atoms will shut you down, silently disassemble, and go off to be other things. And that's it for you.
Still, you may rejoice that it happens at all. Generally speaking in the universe it doesn't, so far as we can tell. This is decidedly odd because the atoms that so liberally and congenially flock together to form living things on Earth are exactly the same atoms that decline to do it elsewhere. Whatever else it may be, at the level of chemistry life is curiously mundane: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen, a little calcium, a dash of sulfur, a light dusting of other very ordinary elements-nothing you wouldn't find in any ordinary drugstore-and that's all you need. The only thing special about the atoms that make you is that they make you. That is of course the miracle of life.
Whether or not atoms make life in other corners of the universe, they make plenty else; indeed, they make everything else. Without them there would be no water or air or rocks, no stars and planets, no distant gassy clouds or swirling nebulae or any of the other things that make the universe so usefully material. Atoms are so numerous and necessary that we easily overlook that they needn't actually exist at all. There is no law that requires the universe to fill itself with small particles of matter or to produce light and gravity and the other physical properties on which our existence hinges. There needn't actually be a universe at all. For the longest time there wasn't. There were no atoms and no universe for them to float about in. There was nothing-nothing at all anywhere.
So thank goodness for atoms. But the fact that you have atoms and that they assemble in such a willing manner is only part of what got you here. To be here now, alive in the twenty-first century and smart enough to know it, you also had to be the beneficiary of an extraordinary string of biological good fortune. Survival on Earth is a surprisingly tricky business. Of the billions and billions of species of living thing that have existed since the dawn of time, most-99.99 percent-are no longer around. Life on Earth, you see, is not only
brief but dismayingly tenuous. It is a curious feature of our existence that we come from a planet that is very good at promoting life but even better at extinguishing it.
Not only have you been lucky enough to be attached since time immemorial to a favored evolutionary line, but you have also been extremely-make that miraculously-fortunate in your personal ancestry. Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the Earth's mountains and rivers and oceans, every one of your forebears on both sides has been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result-eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly-in you.
Coincidence?
Sidenote: three billion "rungs" in the DNA double-helix ladder.
Welcome. And congratulations. I am delighted that you could make it. Getting here wasn't easy, I know. In fact, I suspect it was a little tougher than you realize.
To begin with, for you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years (we hope) these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, cooperative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agreeable but generally underappreciated state known as existence.
Why atoms take this trouble is a bit of a puzzle. Being you is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, your atoms don't actually care about you-indeed, don't even know that you are there. They don't even know that they are there. They are mindless particles, after all, and not even themselves alive. (It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but all of which had once been you.) Yet somehow for the period of your existence they will answer to a single overarching impulse: to keep you you.
The bad news is that atoms are fickle and their time of devotion is fleeting-fleeting indeed. Even a long human life adds up to only about 650,000 hours. And when that modest milestone flashes past, or at some other point thereabouts, for reasons unknown your atoms will shut you down, silently disassemble, and go off to be other things. And that's it for you.
Still, you may rejoice that it happens at all. Generally speaking in the universe it doesn't, so far as we can tell. This is decidedly odd because the atoms that so liberally and congenially flock together to form living things on Earth are exactly the same atoms that decline to do it elsewhere. Whatever else it may be, at the level of chemistry life is curiously mundane: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen, a little calcium, a dash of sulfur, a light dusting of other very ordinary elements-nothing you wouldn't find in any ordinary drugstore-and that's all you need. The only thing special about the atoms that make you is that they make you. That is of course the miracle of life.
Whether or not atoms make life in other corners of the universe, they make plenty else; indeed, they make everything else. Without them there would be no water or air or rocks, no stars and planets, no distant gassy clouds or swirling nebulae or any of the other things that make the universe so usefully material. Atoms are so numerous and necessary that we easily overlook that they needn't actually exist at all. There is no law that requires the universe to fill itself with small particles of matter or to produce light and gravity and the other physical properties on which our existence hinges. There needn't actually be a universe at all. For the longest time there wasn't. There were no atoms and no universe for them to float about in. There was nothing-nothing at all anywhere.
So thank goodness for atoms. But the fact that you have atoms and that they assemble in such a willing manner is only part of what got you here. To be here now, alive in the twenty-first century and smart enough to know it, you also had to be the beneficiary of an extraordinary string of biological good fortune. Survival on Earth is a surprisingly tricky business. Of the billions and billions of species of living thing that have existed since the dawn of time, most-99.99 percent-are no longer around. Life on Earth, you see, is not only
brief but dismayingly tenuous. It is a curious feature of our existence that we come from a planet that is very good at promoting life but even better at extinguishing it.
Not only have you been lucky enough to be attached since time immemorial to a favored evolutionary line, but you have also been extremely-make that miraculously-fortunate in your personal ancestry. Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the Earth's mountains and rivers and oceans, every one of your forebears on both sides has been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result-eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly-in you.
Coincidence?
Sidenote: three billion "rungs" in the DNA double-helix ladder.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
reflections on death and life
My French teacher's husband passed away today. I saw him Monday pick
her up from class. He came to have lunch with our class twice in the past two months. He was not old and seemed in good health. Death comes for all of us.
"death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart." Ecc. 7:2
There is a line 'vanilla twilight' by Owl City that starts 'If I could reach back in time and whisper in your ear...'
We get the chance to 'reach back in time' for the rest of our lives. What would I whisper..
believe in Jesus. He loves you. He is your hope. Your life. Your all in all.
I can't stop crying about it. Not because of regret as much as hope. My heart cries out to Jesus. What a miserable world this must be for those who don't have Jesus.
When I try to think of what death might be like without Jesus all I can think of is... horrific, unimaginable, empty, hopeless, I see the endless darkness and loss without hope, without anything to grasp, without our comforter and renewer of life by our side.
I wept for him/her today. I can't imagine living in this world without
Jesus without hope of an afterlife and going on the whole rest of one's
life without the person that you love most. How could someone even go
on. They would share life together. He was kind and gentle. They
complimented each other's personalities. I would have liked to have
know him more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqbOtK91lpI
Rest in peace Dominic P. I hope you are with Christ.
her up from class. He came to have lunch with our class twice in the past two months. He was not old and seemed in good health. Death comes for all of us.
"death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart." Ecc. 7:2
There is a line 'vanilla twilight' by Owl City that starts 'If I could reach back in time and whisper in your ear...'
We get the chance to 'reach back in time' for the rest of our lives. What would I whisper..
believe in Jesus. He loves you. He is your hope. Your life. Your all in all.
I can't stop crying about it. Not because of regret as much as hope. My heart cries out to Jesus. What a miserable world this must be for those who don't have Jesus.
When I try to think of what death might be like without Jesus all I can think of is... horrific, unimaginable, empty, hopeless, I see the endless darkness and loss without hope, without anything to grasp, without our comforter and renewer of life by our side.
I wept for him/her today. I can't imagine living in this world without
Jesus without hope of an afterlife and going on the whole rest of one's
life without the person that you love most. How could someone even go
on. They would share life together. He was kind and gentle. They
complimented each other's personalities. I would have liked to have
know him more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqbOtK91lpI
Rest in peace Dominic P. I hope you are with Christ.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Anglo groups in Aix
http://provence.angloinfo.com/forum/topic.asp?topic_id=6691
http://www.apelevia.org/category/petites-annonces-small-ads/?lan=english
http://www.aagp-provence.com/index.php
http://www.connexionfrance.com/
Book in Bar
Movie theater
To Advertise:
http://www.connexionfrance.com/advertise.php
http://provence.angloinfo.com/sales/
http://www.aagp-provence.com/adrequest.php
http://www.apelevia.org/category/petites-annonces-small-ads/?lan=english
http://www.aagp-provence.com/index.php
http://www.connexionfrance.com/
Book in Bar
Movie theater
To Advertise:
http://www.connexionfrance.com/advertise.php
http://provence.angloinfo.com/sales/
http://www.aagp-provence.com/adrequest.php
Monday, January 18, 2010
Courses that interest me
(Talbot) TTSF 524 - History & Theory of Christian Soul Care & Direction (3)
An introduction to the history and theory of spiritual soul care, mentoring and direction from a biblical, experiential and psychological perspective. Specific focus is on assisting others in deepening their relationship with God through increased sensitivity and responsiveness to the Holy Spirit's presence and work in all areas of life (including the common and ordinary). Attention is also given to understanding the personal dynamics at work within and between the guide and directee and the role of spiritual guidance within the broader context of pastoral care and mentoring as well as in the more specific discipline of spiritual direction. Required of all SF students.
PT 500/LEAD500/U Formation & Mission
A course designed to explore how we can incarnate the story of Jesus and engage in his mission. Priority is given to assessment of character, temperament, gifts, talents, abilities, ministry and relational skills, sense of call and other characteristics relevant to spiritual formation and ministry. Special attention is given to the spiritual formation process and how it is expressed through the practice of spiritual disciplines and a missional engagement with a postmodern culture. This course must be taken early in the student's program (e.g., first or second term). Three hours.
PT 505/LEAD527/U Pastoral Counseling
Whatever ministry role you fill now or in the future, people will seek your advice and counsel. This course will provide you with the principles and basic skills of effective Christian counseling, and help you cultivate biblical wisdom. Three hours.
PT 523A Counseling in the Local Church (online, with CCEF)
This course explores how to make everyday relationships more consciously biblical and helps you to apply biblical counseling principles in many settings. It seeks to help you discern where you could serve as a biblical counselor. Its purpose is to build a thoroughly biblical understanding of the local church as a ministering community where everyone plays a part. Students are helped to find their place in ministry within the context of the local church and to help others do the same. This class emphasizes the importance of both public and private ministry of the Word of God and how they interrelate. Topics include a biblical foundation for private ministry of the Word; the role of community and relationships in the process of sanctification; developing a practical ecclesiology; and developing an eye for ministry opportunities such as conflict resolution, children's ministry, evangelism, and church discipline. Two hours
An introduction to the history and theory of spiritual soul care, mentoring and direction from a biblical, experiential and psychological perspective. Specific focus is on assisting others in deepening their relationship with God through increased sensitivity and responsiveness to the Holy Spirit's presence and work in all areas of life (including the common and ordinary). Attention is also given to understanding the personal dynamics at work within and between the guide and directee and the role of spiritual guidance within the broader context of pastoral care and mentoring as well as in the more specific discipline of spiritual direction. Required of all SF students.
PT 500/LEAD500/U Formation & Mission
A course designed to explore how we can incarnate the story of Jesus and engage in his mission. Priority is given to assessment of character, temperament, gifts, talents, abilities, ministry and relational skills, sense of call and other characteristics relevant to spiritual formation and ministry. Special attention is given to the spiritual formation process and how it is expressed through the practice of spiritual disciplines and a missional engagement with a postmodern culture. This course must be taken early in the student's program (e.g., first or second term). Three hours.
PT 505/LEAD527/U Pastoral Counseling
Whatever ministry role you fill now or in the future, people will seek your advice and counsel. This course will provide you with the principles and basic skills of effective Christian counseling, and help you cultivate biblical wisdom. Three hours.
PT 523A Counseling in the Local Church (online, with CCEF)
This course explores how to make everyday relationships more consciously biblical and helps you to apply biblical counseling principles in many settings. It seeks to help you discern where you could serve as a biblical counselor. Its purpose is to build a thoroughly biblical understanding of the local church as a ministering community where everyone plays a part. Students are helped to find their place in ministry within the context of the local church and to help others do the same. This class emphasizes the importance of both public and private ministry of the Word of God and how they interrelate. Topics include a biblical foundation for private ministry of the Word; the role of community and relationships in the process of sanctification; developing a practical ecclesiology; and developing an eye for ministry opportunities such as conflict resolution, children's ministry, evangelism, and church discipline. Two hours
Friday, January 15, 2010
Dry, Dark, Finding Him in Quiet time
Pslam 42 they are thirsty for God
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deut 31:8
God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful. 1Cor1:9
Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done... 1chron16:11-12a
"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:9-13
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11-14
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-8
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You are normal. God is not leaving you. It is worth it to fight for his presence, to seek his face always. We can set the boundaries (creating space for God to move) and hope. It us up to God after that. God is faithful. He will not abandon us. He will not leave us. He calls us into his fellowship. He has good plans for you, will give you good gifts, and is working all out for our good.
To think about...
Spiritual Pathways Service Description: Christians don't always access God in the same way. In fact, there are various ways in which we can feel God's presence in our lives. Some of us experience God relationally--in the presence of other believers. Or our spiritual development may come about in intellectual pursuits. People may find God in service to others. Some may have to be alone and contemplative. The opposite of contemplatives are the spiritual activists, those who like to get others going into Kingdom action. Other spiritual pathways include those who find God in His creation and those who experience Him strongest in worship. It is important for each one of us to develop and use our spiritual pathway, but also respect the pathways of others.
Take the test here... http://common.northpoint.org/sacredpathway.html
In what ways are you experiencing the presence of God ?
7Habits of QT
http://site.e100challenge.biz/downloads/7habits.pdf
Coming up with a plan
http://lifecoachinginchrist.blogspot.com/2008/12/what-only-god-can-do-and-my-part-too.html
Henri Nouwen's thoughts on Quiet time
http://lifecoachinginchrist.blogspot.com/2008/12/quiet-time-with-jesus-from-way-of-heart.html
http://lifecoachinginchrist.blogspot.com/2009/01/moving-from-solitude-to-community-to.html
The Spirit's intercession
The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. Romans 8:26,27
Are there sins or encumbrances holding you back?
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1
Sometimes the things that hold us back are not sin except that they hold us back from God. What do we live like we trust in? Food, money, a house, people's opinions of us, etc. I went on a plane and found that I did not have peace and was worried about dying for the first time. I had place my hope in a job and in getting a perfect house and in all the things that I wanted or wanted to do. But the material and all those dreams could vanish in a moment. Do I have hope in God?
So I skipped a few meals and re-realized that all that I was hoping for was like dirt compared with God. Why was I so bent on a home and money was becoming more important. Give it away says the LORD. It's not yours to keep. I will provide, I am your comfort. He was there the whole time but I got so focused on the desires of the world that I lost sight of him. I had to give that up before I could see him again in the fullness I was used to.
What are your encumbrances? What is God calling you to do with them?
Stories
[edit] Plot structure
Freytag's pyramidPlot is often designed with a narrative structure, storyline or story arc, that includes exposition, conflict, rising action and climax, followed by a falling action and resolution.
[edit] Exposition
Main article: Exposition (literary technique)
Exposition is the beginning of the plot usually concerned with introducing characters and setting. These elements may be largely presented at the beginning of the story, or occur as a sort of incidental description throughout. Exposition may be handled in a variety of ways—perhaps a character or a set of characters explain the elements of the plot through dialogue or thought, or perhaps media such as newspaper clippings, and diaries. In the case of film, an analogous usage of television, discovered video tape, or documentary may be used.
[edit] Conflict
Main article: Conflict (narrative)
Conflict is a clash between two or more opposing groups, around which the plot revolves. This can take a number of basic forms, where the character may have to face themselves, another person, nature, society, a machine, or even the supernatural. The conflict, along with the exposition, often defines the genre of the story. A story's conflict may be a hybrid of these, or many concurrent conflicts: for example, the protagonist may struggle with their own thoughts while fighting someone else, or battle the nature of disease while trying to change society!
[edit] Climax
Main article: Climax (narrative)
The climax is the high point of the story, where a culmination of events create the peak of the conflict. The climax usually features the most conflict and struggle, and usually reveals any secrets or missing points in the story. Alternatively, an anti-climax may occur, in which an expectedly difficult event is revealed to be incredibly easy or of paltry importance. Critics may also label the falling action as an anti-climax, or anti-climactic. The climax isn't always the first important scene in a story. In many stories, it is the last sentence, with no successive falling action or resolution.
[edit] Falling action
Main article: Falling action
The falling action is the part of a story following the climax. This part of the story shows the result of the climax, and its effects on the characters, setting, and proceeding events. Critics may label a story with falling action as the anti-climax or anti-climactic if they feel that the falling action takes away from the power of the climax.
[edit] Resolution
Main article: Dénouement
Etymologically, the French word dénouement is derived from the Old French word denoer, "to untie", and from nodus, Latin for "knot". In fiction, a dénouement consists of a series of events that follow the climax, and thus serves as the conclusion of the story. Conflicts are resolved, creating normality for the characters and a sense of catharsis, or release of tension and anxiety, for the reader. Simply put, dénouement is the unraveling or untying of the complexities of a plot. Be aware that not all stories have a resolution.
Freytag's pyramidPlot is often designed with a narrative structure, storyline or story arc, that includes exposition, conflict, rising action and climax, followed by a falling action and resolution.
[edit] Exposition
Main article: Exposition (literary technique)
Exposition is the beginning of the plot usually concerned with introducing characters and setting. These elements may be largely presented at the beginning of the story, or occur as a sort of incidental description throughout. Exposition may be handled in a variety of ways—perhaps a character or a set of characters explain the elements of the plot through dialogue or thought, or perhaps media such as newspaper clippings, and diaries. In the case of film, an analogous usage of television, discovered video tape, or documentary may be used.
[edit] Conflict
Main article: Conflict (narrative)
Conflict is a clash between two or more opposing groups, around which the plot revolves. This can take a number of basic forms, where the character may have to face themselves, another person, nature, society, a machine, or even the supernatural. The conflict, along with the exposition, often defines the genre of the story. A story's conflict may be a hybrid of these, or many concurrent conflicts: for example, the protagonist may struggle with their own thoughts while fighting someone else, or battle the nature of disease while trying to change society!
[edit] Climax
Main article: Climax (narrative)
The climax is the high point of the story, where a culmination of events create the peak of the conflict. The climax usually features the most conflict and struggle, and usually reveals any secrets or missing points in the story. Alternatively, an anti-climax may occur, in which an expectedly difficult event is revealed to be incredibly easy or of paltry importance. Critics may also label the falling action as an anti-climax, or anti-climactic. The climax isn't always the first important scene in a story. In many stories, it is the last sentence, with no successive falling action or resolution.
[edit] Falling action
Main article: Falling action
The falling action is the part of a story following the climax. This part of the story shows the result of the climax, and its effects on the characters, setting, and proceeding events. Critics may label a story with falling action as the anti-climax or anti-climactic if they feel that the falling action takes away from the power of the climax.
[edit] Resolution
Main article: Dénouement
Etymologically, the French word dénouement is derived from the Old French word denoer, "to untie", and from nodus, Latin for "knot". In fiction, a dénouement consists of a series of events that follow the climax, and thus serves as the conclusion of the story. Conflicts are resolved, creating normality for the characters and a sense of catharsis, or release of tension and anxiety, for the reader. Simply put, dénouement is the unraveling or untying of the complexities of a plot. Be aware that not all stories have a resolution.
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