Session 2 Connect- Transition

Encouragement- warning is one definition- prepare is another

Common for us all
Expect it- dismantle your idols. Are you making an idol out of your spouse or kids? Do we think we will never or could never loose them?

Ecc 7:2 Start in the house of mourning.
:3 Sorrow- A broken heart for the world not being like God says it should be.

Our natural reaction is to not get as close as we are with the first people we connect with when that gets ripped away. We need to be counterinteuative. That is the way of Christ so often in this upside down world.

World's way of handeling loss:
1Denial 2Anger (a valid emotion but not usefull until turned to grief) 3Depression (anger turned inward) 4Bargaining 5Acceptance
This is because we are dismantling an idol. We give disproportional weight to something. Distorts reality. When we make an idol we distance ourselves from teh reality of the situation. Only one being is worthy of worship. We must dismantle our expectations of "the way things should be".
Ex. Me with Barcelona. I wanted to go so bad and I had built it up for so long that when we got in late and had to leave sooner and we were choosing a breakfast time I got defensive. I couldn't let go of my idol. They weren't taking that from me, so I picked the earlier breakfast time without even asking anyone else and when Kerri asked me about the breakfast I told her that I may never get the chance to come back and basically need this. Not a healthy way to act. When I dismanteled my idol and rememered that I am in God's hands' I was able to respond instead of react.

If we are not dismanteling an idol we can start at 5 and get rid of anger, denial, bargaining, and depression. A biblical view on handelin loss is
1)Acceptance (we can't redeem the past- we must accept there is nothing we can do to change it. We have a powerlesness in the face of it. Ex boulder in road, can't move it but wisdom will help us navigate around it.)
2)Sadness (expresses the helplesness of our losses)
3)Thankfulness- thankful that you were in my life, thankful that you will color my self forever, thankfull for what I brought you and what you left with me. God has used this to shape my soul (loss included- these things must be necessary since they exist and God doesn't allow worthless things to happen). God will redeem it. (Thankfulness admits dependance.)
4)Hope
*Nothing we do for God will be wasted. God wastes no investment of yours, so be fully present whereever you're at.

This is an argument for making deep relationships constantly. Don't be afraid of the pain and loss. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 'grief is the price of love'

Grief process is necessary for church growth and multiplication- changing small groups and personal spaces. And for new friendships- we are limited ex legos with only so many connection points available (time constraint)

Leadership- there is a vacuum when leaders leave that people step up into. We are more capable than we realize (we need passion and commitment to Christ). God isn't looking for perfect; He's looking for willing. ex. us going to France, not the most learned or longest time committed or most personable but willing.

Jesus grieved John the baptist's death. "When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place." -Mt 14:13

"Healthy families process grief"
Balloons aren't meant to last forever

Paul leaves Ephesus:
Acts 20:36- 38When he had said this, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship.

Hud's "tools for perspective"
Awareness of the awefulness of death Job 14
Lament -emotions in and to- PS102, 130 85
Not alone in suffering Isaiah 63:9
endurance of faith PS 103 Hab 3
Christian Hope Rev 21