Search to Belong- Myers

Public- Eagles, big church gathering (almost a culture)
Social- coffee at church, serving together, neighbors
Private- small groups, dinners
Intimate- only a few people in this group

Each space has its own unique way in which belonging is expressed and experienced. Confusion arises when we expect belonging to be expressed and experienced the same way in all four spaces. Each space provides its own unique way of experiencing community. To expect otherwise is to invite frustration. Following are the four spaces with a short description highlighting the distinct way belonging is experienced in each space:

* "Public belonging happens when we connect through outside influences. It isn't about connecting person to person; it is about sharing a common experience. Think of fans at a football game, members of the PTA, shoppers at a grocery store. In each case an outside influence brings these people into a common grouping. They connect because of the outside influence, not because of shared personal information" (p. 41).
* Social belonging is often denigrated as superficial, but it is vitally important. "In many ways, social belonging is the 'small talk' of our relationships" (p. 45). The neighbor relationships of social belonging allow us to "share snapshots" of who we are with others. A shared social space also "provides a safe selection space for us to decide with whom we would like to grow a 'deeper' relationship" (p. 46).
* Personal belonging involves the sharing of private information. It takes place in a safe setting where trustworthy confidences are built. "[W]e connect through sharing private - although not 'naked' - experiences, feelings, and thoughts" (p. 47). The people to whom we belong are friends or "close friends" rather than acquaintances.
* "In intimate space, we share 'naked' experiences, feelings, and thoughts. Very few relationships are intimate. Intimate relationships are those in which another person knows the 'naked truth' about us and yet the two of us are 'not ashamed'" (p. 50).

Sources: http://www.theocentric.com/ecclesiology/community/putting_small_groups_in_their.html