Coaching training day 2

Performance Consultants Coaching Training
Day two exercises and notes

Group questions (sharing circles)
1. What is at the front of your mind as you enter the day?
2. What’s on your personal agenda to get out of the day?
3. What concerns do you have for today?

Focus for today:
Improve the core coaching skills of:
1. Questioning
2. Listening
3. Observing

Notes from groups’ questions and concerns:
o What is the difference between life coaching and professional coaching? Coaching and counseling? Coaching and training? Coaching and management?
o Management differs from leadership because management is hierarchical while leadership leads by inspiration.
o How does coaching change when the coach is the coachee’s boss? The first step is to make an agreement on objectives and goals. Corporate strategy may also dictate what our objectives are. Then the coaching starts. We ask how are we going to get to our goals.
o Coaching is ‘sharper’ than counseling. It focuses on what ‘you’ can do and not what ‘we’ can do. It puts the ball in their court.
o Is it coaching that they need? A widow at a funeral does not need encouragement (coaching) she needs comforting. Encouragement can come after comfort.
o When we suggest we can get a quick ‘yes’ but there could be a reason why they didn’t already do it. They need to have buy-in on the decision. This is where most consulting goes wrong (offering a solution without buy-in).
o There is room for your past experiences if they relate to the coachee’s problems.
o Bring your personality but don’t let it overpower the coachee. Your focus is on them.



Coaching Practice 1- Life track

Break up into groups of three. One is the coach, another the coachee and the third is the observer. Talk about the life track for 15 min.

Then the coach meets with the observer and hears the observer’s thoughts and impressions while the coachees meet together.

In the same groups and roles take the next 15 to set and work toward objectives and goals.

Example questions:
o Why was this a high moment? What were the ingredients?
o Where you the victim or did you create the conditions? What were the circumstances? How can you avoid those situations in the future? How did you create those conditions?
o What did you learn about yourself (reign in observations about other people; bring it back to them. They can’t control others, only themselves)?
o Don’t make assumptions. Ex. ‘my parents got divorced when I was five’. Don’t assume that they view the divorce as a bad thing. Ask them about it. What did that mean to you?
o Listen to how people describe things. If they use ‘feel’ a lot then they are probably feelers. It’s ok to ask them how did you feel questions. If they use ‘think’ more they are probably thinkers. Ask what they thought about things. How did you react to that?
o What kind of boundaries would you like to set up?
o What do you need in order for you to feel stronger? How do you feel about asking ____ for help?
o Why is there a misalignment?
o Find another voice inside of you to reign back that voice.
o Role-play- coach is ____. Coachee is themselves. How would you say it to ___?
o How do I as_______(Jim) feel now? Defensive?
o Imagine you have to say it to me in a way that I can hear it.
o What is the impact of this on you?
o What is the impact of this on the other person?
o What’s your limiting belief?
o What do other people need to hear from you?
o What other conversations do you need to have and with whom?

Notes on Life Track.
o Point out strong points.
o Talk about vigilant points (points to be aware of).
o The coachee can feel like they are telling a story. Feel free to interrupt and bring it back to deeper issues.
o The objective is to trigger awareness at a deeper level
o Verbalization makes us realize things.

Coaching Practice 2- Life track
The coaching triad starts again with different roles. Coach becomes observer, observer becomes coachee and coachee become coach.


G oals GROW Model
R eality
O ptions
W ill

What questions fit into these four categories? Where do they fit?
Goals
o Where do you see yourself in one month? (goals) Where do you see yourself in one year? (dreams)
o What would you like to see happen?
o What are you struggling with?
o How would you like to grow?
o Which one would you like to focus on most?
o What are the company/ group’s goals and values? Are your goals compatible with theirs?
o If you were 5% more effective in this area, what would it look like?
Reality
o Tell me what’s going on there.
o Is your goal realistic?
o How many people share this goal? Does your boss share that same goal?
o What have you done so far?
o How do you ____(ex. say ‘no’) when you ____(ex. do say no)?
o What does that tell you about you?
o How do others see you?
o What’s the benefit for you?
o What’s the benefit for others?
o (Asking ‘why’ is most important in goal setting. Then move on to ‘how’. ‘Why’ asks not only what you are moving toward but also what you are moving away from.)
Options
o What would you say to them?
o What else could you do?
o How would you describe this to your to your best friend?
o If you were in their shoes how would you like to hear it?
o What is the up side for you? For others? What is the down side for you? For others? A developed person is someone who sees things from multiple perspectives. We always need to think about results and relationships.
Will
o How do you feel about doing that?
o When?
o What part of you wants to do it?
o What part doesn’t
o What happens if you don’t get it?
o (Commitment to get it is very important. Most people say they will but won’t. This step is also where we form actions steps).

Coaching Practice 3- Life track

The coaching triad starts again with different roles. Coach becomes observer, observer becomes coachee and coachee becomes coach.


Homework:
Find a coachee, enter a coaching relationship, coach a minimum of 6 hours.



What did I notice about myself?



What did I find easy and natural?



What did I find more difficult, unnatural?



What was my learning?



What would I do differently if I could do it again?



Who am I, who do I want to be?