Two people.. end result
one thinks that he is his own and when he finds out all the good things in him and gets more in touch with himself it makes him more proud and less willing to serve out of his comfort zone or strengths.
Person two knows that all are gifts from God, either natural from is image on us at birth or spiritual gifting later in life. Two is humble because they know that it is all from God. None from ourselves and that it all could be taken away in an instant. And that it is all there for serving others. Not for our own glory and status and pride.
Exercise.. draw the person and list the attributes of the end results of what a person who thinks that goodness is from self compared with goodness from God and why would they end up that way.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
life track
YOUR LIFE TRACK
Our life experience is made up of (i) the events that happened and (ii) how we processed them. The goal of this exercise is not to reminisce nor to gather facts and figures, but rather to gain a clearer picture of the main events that have marked your life and have made you the person you are today.
Place the main events or « landmarks » on this graph
What are your best memories?
What made them so good?
What do they tell you about yourself?
Look at the challenges you have had to overcome; what internal resource enabled you to overcome them? What do they tell you about yourself?
If you could « rewrite » your own story, what, if anything, would you do differently?
What “roles” have you played in your life? Which ones do/did you particularly enjoy? Which ones were less comfortable? How come you got to play them?
Using this graph as a starting point, write a short résumé of how life has made you the person you are, from childhood, through to adolescence, your professional roles, right up to today.
How do you imagine other people saw you at each point in your life, how do you imagine they see you today and … if you’re up to it … how do you imagine they will see you in 10 yrs from now?
Our life experience is made up of (i) the events that happened and (ii) how we processed them. The goal of this exercise is not to reminisce nor to gather facts and figures, but rather to gain a clearer picture of the main events that have marked your life and have made you the person you are today.
Place the main events or « landmarks » on this graph
What are your best memories?
What made them so good?
What do they tell you about yourself?
Look at the challenges you have had to overcome; what internal resource enabled you to overcome them? What do they tell you about yourself?
If you could « rewrite » your own story, what, if anything, would you do differently?
What “roles” have you played in your life? Which ones do/did you particularly enjoy? Which ones were less comfortable? How come you got to play them?
Using this graph as a starting point, write a short résumé of how life has made you the person you are, from childhood, through to adolescence, your professional roles, right up to today.
How do you imagine other people saw you at each point in your life, how do you imagine they see you today and … if you’re up to it … how do you imagine they will see you in 10 yrs from now?
grow model
THE G.R.O.W. MODEL
COACHING PRACTICE : EFFECTIVE QUESTIONS
GOAL 1. What do you want to achieve long term?
2. What does success look like?
3. What would be a milestone on the way?
4. When do you want to achieve it by?
5. How will you measure it?
6. When you reach this goal, what will be the benefit to you?
REALITY 7. What is happening now?
8. Who is involved (directly & indirectly)?
9. When things are going badly on this issue, what happens to you?
10. What is the effect on others?
11. What have you done about this so far?
12. What has stopped it from being effective?
13. What do you have that you’re not using?
14. What’s holding you back?
15. What is really going on? (Intuition)
OPTIONS 16. What options do you have?
17. What else could you do?
18. If someone came to you for advice, what would you tell them?
19. Think of a person you respect & regard. What would he/she do in your situation?
20. What are the benefits and costs of each option you now have?
WILL 21. Which option or options do you choose?
22. Set out an action plan.
23. When precisely are you going to start and finish each action step?
24. What could arise to hinder you in taking these steps?
25. What personal resistance do you have, if any, to taking these steps?
26. What will you do to eliminate these external and internal factors?
27. Who needs to know what your plans are?
28. What support do you need and from whom?
29. What will you do to obtain that support and when?
30. What could I do to support you?
31. What commitment on a 1-10 scale do you have to taking these agreed actions?
32. What prevents this from being a 10?
33. Is there anything else you want to talk about now or are we finished?
What would you like to have by the end of this series of questions?
What’s your long term goal?
What do you really want in this situation?
Would would be a realistic objective?
What’s happening right now in this situation?
What actions have you taken so far?
What do you control? What don’t you control?
What’s really going on in this situation?
If you looked through the eyes of someone else, how would they see the issue? How would they see you?
If you imagined this situation were here just for you to learn something, what would the learning be?
What options do you have in this situation?
What advice would you give a friend in the same situation?
Have you been in a similar situation before? If so, what did you learn? How did you resolve it?
What would be the easiest thing to do in this situation? The hardest?
What does the wisest part of you say you should do?
What would be a creative way of dealing with this situation?
If you look at all the options above, which is the one you’d most like to do?
Which of these options are you going to choose to do?
How committed are you 1 – 10?
If the answer isn’t 9 or 10, what would make it 9 or 10?
When are going to do it, be precise?
COACHING PRACTICE : EFFECTIVE QUESTIONS
GOAL 1. What do you want to achieve long term?
2. What does success look like?
3. What would be a milestone on the way?
4. When do you want to achieve it by?
5. How will you measure it?
6. When you reach this goal, what will be the benefit to you?
REALITY 7. What is happening now?
8. Who is involved (directly & indirectly)?
9. When things are going badly on this issue, what happens to you?
10. What is the effect on others?
11. What have you done about this so far?
12. What has stopped it from being effective?
13. What do you have that you’re not using?
14. What’s holding you back?
15. What is really going on? (Intuition)
OPTIONS 16. What options do you have?
17. What else could you do?
18. If someone came to you for advice, what would you tell them?
19. Think of a person you respect & regard. What would he/she do in your situation?
20. What are the benefits and costs of each option you now have?
WILL 21. Which option or options do you choose?
22. Set out an action plan.
23. When precisely are you going to start and finish each action step?
24. What could arise to hinder you in taking these steps?
25. What personal resistance do you have, if any, to taking these steps?
26. What will you do to eliminate these external and internal factors?
27. Who needs to know what your plans are?
28. What support do you need and from whom?
29. What will you do to obtain that support and when?
30. What could I do to support you?
31. What commitment on a 1-10 scale do you have to taking these agreed actions?
32. What prevents this from being a 10?
33. Is there anything else you want to talk about now or are we finished?
What would you like to have by the end of this series of questions?
What’s your long term goal?
What do you really want in this situation?
Would would be a realistic objective?
What’s happening right now in this situation?
What actions have you taken so far?
What do you control? What don’t you control?
What’s really going on in this situation?
If you looked through the eyes of someone else, how would they see the issue? How would they see you?
If you imagined this situation were here just for you to learn something, what would the learning be?
What options do you have in this situation?
What advice would you give a friend in the same situation?
Have you been in a similar situation before? If so, what did you learn? How did you resolve it?
What would be the easiest thing to do in this situation? The hardest?
What does the wisest part of you say you should do?
What would be a creative way of dealing with this situation?
If you look at all the options above, which is the one you’d most like to do?
Which of these options are you going to choose to do?
How committed are you 1 – 10?
If the answer isn’t 9 or 10, what would make it 9 or 10?
When are going to do it, be precise?
Monday, May 4, 2009
ICC retreat presentation on international youth ministry
International Youth Ministry
I am glad that I get the opportunity to talk with you today about youth ministry because I believe it is a door that God has opened for us here in France and Europe. If we are to look for the places that God is moving I believe this is one of the major ways specifically with the internationals.
The factors making this an open door:
1. Open to the gospel at a younger age. Once they become adults they’ve already formed their world view and if no one was there to tell them about Jesus than how can we expect them to have Christ as the center of their lives. In adults we are battling against preconceived notions, things that are already learned like skepticism and to not trust anything. Kids are more willing to trust and look for the unseen and mysteries in life.
2. TCK’s. They get that name because they are not fully from their parents culture nor fully from the culture in which they were raised so TCKs develop their own life patterns different from those who were basically raised in one culture. It is a culture between cultures and they tend to have more in common with each other than with the first two cultures.
Two key components of TCKs are
a. Belonging. That they don’t fit in- have a need to belong. They can belong in the youth group and more importantly in God’s family. “They admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them” Hebrews 11: 13b-16
b. Identity. Cultures change as well as the way they relate to each culture. Each culture brings its own behaviors, words, customs, traditions, beliefs, values, assumptions, and though process. As these change so does the child’s sense of identity. (ex someone who saw themselves as quick and funny in one language questions if he/she still is funny while they struggle with a new language.) They will find their identity in Christ and not in a place or a culture. See in Christ I am…
These two factors change the way I do Youth group. Every kid needs to belong, but in few places is a youth group the only place they really belong. There are other kids like them. They are normal.
This thought will get us started in the key ingredients in cross cultural youth ministry.
1. Creating an environment where they can belong. We can’t make it happen but we can set up the conditions. We can’t make a seed grow into a plant but we can water it and turn the soil and create the environment for it to do well. We can focus on community and including each other, love, embracing new friends, togetherness, and creating an environment of grace. We can give them un-programmed time where they can just hang out with each other and talk and play games. We can create places where they can be accepted and not excepted. This is meeting a felt need. One man hungers for food so we serve him in a soup kitchen and another hungers for acceptance so we create a place for them to belong.
2. One quality of TCKs is they can seem more mature from a younger age and in some ways they are, but in other ways they are still just kids which means they
a. Love/ need to have fun
b. Love to be goofy and silly
3. It is different from other youth ministry in the states because you can’t rely on the parents to bring the kids. Only a small % of parents will send their kids from small international church plants typically. The kids need to want to command to invite their friends. It needs to be attractional to them. It needs to be an environment they are drawn to.
4. Get as many good leaders as you can to love the kids, spend time with them and to be another voice speaking the truth to them. It is easier to trust many voices and not just one or two. Each kid will connect differently with different leaders. No matter what their personalities each leader will connect best with certain kids. More leaders means more types of kids and closer connections.
5. Camps are huge for connecting with local kids, keeping up with kids that have moved and going deeper.
6. Know that many international parents who want little to do with the church will encourage their children to explore their own faith and beliefs. They want to be tolerant and not imposing and this creates a place where Christ can enter into their worlds. This is an opening with agnostic families. This dynamic makes it especially important to have a relationships first approach where the kids are presented with Christianity but don’t feel pressured into it. This is the key to many parent’s trust.
7. If you do nothing else; love, love love em. That is still 90% of it.
See also
I am glad that I get the opportunity to talk with you today about youth ministry because I believe it is a door that God has opened for us here in France and Europe. If we are to look for the places that God is moving I believe this is one of the major ways specifically with the internationals.
The factors making this an open door:
1. Open to the gospel at a younger age. Once they become adults they’ve already formed their world view and if no one was there to tell them about Jesus than how can we expect them to have Christ as the center of their lives. In adults we are battling against preconceived notions, things that are already learned like skepticism and to not trust anything. Kids are more willing to trust and look for the unseen and mysteries in life.
2. TCK’s. They get that name because they are not fully from their parents culture nor fully from the culture in which they were raised so TCKs develop their own life patterns different from those who were basically raised in one culture. It is a culture between cultures and they tend to have more in common with each other than with the first two cultures.
Two key components of TCKs are
a. Belonging. That they don’t fit in- have a need to belong. They can belong in the youth group and more importantly in God’s family. “They admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them” Hebrews 11: 13b-16
b. Identity. Cultures change as well as the way they relate to each culture. Each culture brings its own behaviors, words, customs, traditions, beliefs, values, assumptions, and though process. As these change so does the child’s sense of identity. (ex someone who saw themselves as quick and funny in one language questions if he/she still is funny while they struggle with a new language.) They will find their identity in Christ and not in a place or a culture. See in Christ I am…
These two factors change the way I do Youth group. Every kid needs to belong, but in few places is a youth group the only place they really belong. There are other kids like them. They are normal.
This thought will get us started in the key ingredients in cross cultural youth ministry.
1. Creating an environment where they can belong. We can’t make it happen but we can set up the conditions. We can’t make a seed grow into a plant but we can water it and turn the soil and create the environment for it to do well. We can focus on community and including each other, love, embracing new friends, togetherness, and creating an environment of grace. We can give them un-programmed time where they can just hang out with each other and talk and play games. We can create places where they can be accepted and not excepted. This is meeting a felt need. One man hungers for food so we serve him in a soup kitchen and another hungers for acceptance so we create a place for them to belong.
2. One quality of TCKs is they can seem more mature from a younger age and in some ways they are, but in other ways they are still just kids which means they
a. Love/ need to have fun
b. Love to be goofy and silly
3. It is different from other youth ministry in the states because you can’t rely on the parents to bring the kids. Only a small % of parents will send their kids from small international church plants typically. The kids need to want to command to invite their friends. It needs to be attractional to them. It needs to be an environment they are drawn to.
4. Get as many good leaders as you can to love the kids, spend time with them and to be another voice speaking the truth to them. It is easier to trust many voices and not just one or two. Each kid will connect differently with different leaders. No matter what their personalities each leader will connect best with certain kids. More leaders means more types of kids and closer connections.
5. Camps are huge for connecting with local kids, keeping up with kids that have moved and going deeper.
6. Know that many international parents who want little to do with the church will encourage their children to explore their own faith and beliefs. They want to be tolerant and not imposing and this creates a place where Christ can enter into their worlds. This is an opening with agnostic families. This dynamic makes it especially important to have a relationships first approach where the kids are presented with Christianity but don’t feel pressured into it. This is the key to many parent’s trust.
7. If you do nothing else; love, love love em. That is still 90% of it.
See also
favorite messages
Tim's message on connecting with God Psalm 66
Greg's teaching on love as the greatest commandment]
Find also: The two 'God Why?' series
Greg's teaching on love as the greatest commandment]
Find also: The two 'God Why?' series
Something to remember
thank you so much adam for sending a letter to me for my becoming a man night. it was beautiful and i was proud to have a freind that thinks so highly of me. i love ya man and im really gonna miss you when we have to leave.
thanks again for the letter,
Sawyer
thanks again for the letter,
Sawyer
Sunday, May 3, 2009
service projects in Aix catholic cathedral
Aix service along side the Cathedral
1. Contact Emmanuel de Pierrefeu- aix home 21 65 94 -service in aix and Benin africa
2. "Etoile de Noel" giving out food in the winter time in Aix (contact Emmanuel).
3. Sebestien Damery 06 76 6357 01 (speaks English)--connections with red cross and Caritas which is an international aid organization
1. Contact Emmanuel de Pierrefeu- aix home 21 65 94 -service in aix and Benin africa
2. "Etoile de Noel" giving out food in the winter time in Aix (contact Emmanuel).
3. Sebestien Damery 06 76 6357 01 (speaks English)--connections with red cross and Caritas which is an international aid organization
Friday, May 1, 2009
Coaching training day 2
Performance Consultants Coaching Training
Day two exercises and notes
Group questions (sharing circles)
1. What is at the front of your mind as you enter the day?
2. What’s on your personal agenda to get out of the day?
3. What concerns do you have for today?
Focus for today:
Improve the core coaching skills of:
1. Questioning
2. Listening
3. Observing
Notes from groups’ questions and concerns:
o What is the difference between life coaching and professional coaching? Coaching and counseling? Coaching and training? Coaching and management?
o Management differs from leadership because management is hierarchical while leadership leads by inspiration.
o How does coaching change when the coach is the coachee’s boss? The first step is to make an agreement on objectives and goals. Corporate strategy may also dictate what our objectives are. Then the coaching starts. We ask how are we going to get to our goals.
o Coaching is ‘sharper’ than counseling. It focuses on what ‘you’ can do and not what ‘we’ can do. It puts the ball in their court.
o Is it coaching that they need? A widow at a funeral does not need encouragement (coaching) she needs comforting. Encouragement can come after comfort.
o When we suggest we can get a quick ‘yes’ but there could be a reason why they didn’t already do it. They need to have buy-in on the decision. This is where most consulting goes wrong (offering a solution without buy-in).
o There is room for your past experiences if they relate to the coachee’s problems.
o Bring your personality but don’t let it overpower the coachee. Your focus is on them.
Coaching Practice 1- Life track
Break up into groups of three. One is the coach, another the coachee and the third is the observer. Talk about the life track for 15 min.
Then the coach meets with the observer and hears the observer’s thoughts and impressions while the coachees meet together.
In the same groups and roles take the next 15 to set and work toward objectives and goals.
Example questions:
o Why was this a high moment? What were the ingredients?
o Where you the victim or did you create the conditions? What were the circumstances? How can you avoid those situations in the future? How did you create those conditions?
o What did you learn about yourself (reign in observations about other people; bring it back to them. They can’t control others, only themselves)?
o Don’t make assumptions. Ex. ‘my parents got divorced when I was five’. Don’t assume that they view the divorce as a bad thing. Ask them about it. What did that mean to you?
o Listen to how people describe things. If they use ‘feel’ a lot then they are probably feelers. It’s ok to ask them how did you feel questions. If they use ‘think’ more they are probably thinkers. Ask what they thought about things. How did you react to that?
o What kind of boundaries would you like to set up?
o What do you need in order for you to feel stronger? How do you feel about asking ____ for help?
o Why is there a misalignment?
o Find another voice inside of you to reign back that voice.
o Role-play- coach is ____. Coachee is themselves. How would you say it to ___?
o How do I as_______(Jim) feel now? Defensive?
o Imagine you have to say it to me in a way that I can hear it.
o What is the impact of this on you?
o What is the impact of this on the other person?
o What’s your limiting belief?
o What do other people need to hear from you?
o What other conversations do you need to have and with whom?
Notes on Life Track.
o Point out strong points.
o Talk about vigilant points (points to be aware of).
o The coachee can feel like they are telling a story. Feel free to interrupt and bring it back to deeper issues.
o The objective is to trigger awareness at a deeper level
o Verbalization makes us realize things.
Coaching Practice 2- Life track
The coaching triad starts again with different roles. Coach becomes observer, observer becomes coachee and coachee become coach.
G oals GROW Model
R eality
O ptions
W ill
What questions fit into these four categories? Where do they fit?
Goals
o Where do you see yourself in one month? (goals) Where do you see yourself in one year? (dreams)
o What would you like to see happen?
o What are you struggling with?
o How would you like to grow?
o Which one would you like to focus on most?
o What are the company/ group’s goals and values? Are your goals compatible with theirs?
o If you were 5% more effective in this area, what would it look like?
Reality
o Tell me what’s going on there.
o Is your goal realistic?
o How many people share this goal? Does your boss share that same goal?
o What have you done so far?
o How do you ____(ex. say ‘no’) when you ____(ex. do say no)?
o What does that tell you about you?
o How do others see you?
o What’s the benefit for you?
o What’s the benefit for others?
o (Asking ‘why’ is most important in goal setting. Then move on to ‘how’. ‘Why’ asks not only what you are moving toward but also what you are moving away from.)
Options
o What would you say to them?
o What else could you do?
o How would you describe this to your to your best friend?
o If you were in their shoes how would you like to hear it?
o What is the up side for you? For others? What is the down side for you? For others? A developed person is someone who sees things from multiple perspectives. We always need to think about results and relationships.
Will
o How do you feel about doing that?
o When?
o What part of you wants to do it?
o What part doesn’t
o What happens if you don’t get it?
o (Commitment to get it is very important. Most people say they will but won’t. This step is also where we form actions steps).
Coaching Practice 3- Life track
The coaching triad starts again with different roles. Coach becomes observer, observer becomes coachee and coachee becomes coach.
Homework:
Find a coachee, enter a coaching relationship, coach a minimum of 6 hours.
What did I notice about myself?
What did I find easy and natural?
What did I find more difficult, unnatural?
What was my learning?
What would I do differently if I could do it again?
Who am I, who do I want to be?
Day two exercises and notes
Group questions (sharing circles)
1. What is at the front of your mind as you enter the day?
2. What’s on your personal agenda to get out of the day?
3. What concerns do you have for today?
Focus for today:
Improve the core coaching skills of:
1. Questioning
2. Listening
3. Observing
Notes from groups’ questions and concerns:
o What is the difference between life coaching and professional coaching? Coaching and counseling? Coaching and training? Coaching and management?
o Management differs from leadership because management is hierarchical while leadership leads by inspiration.
o How does coaching change when the coach is the coachee’s boss? The first step is to make an agreement on objectives and goals. Corporate strategy may also dictate what our objectives are. Then the coaching starts. We ask how are we going to get to our goals.
o Coaching is ‘sharper’ than counseling. It focuses on what ‘you’ can do and not what ‘we’ can do. It puts the ball in their court.
o Is it coaching that they need? A widow at a funeral does not need encouragement (coaching) she needs comforting. Encouragement can come after comfort.
o When we suggest we can get a quick ‘yes’ but there could be a reason why they didn’t already do it. They need to have buy-in on the decision. This is where most consulting goes wrong (offering a solution without buy-in).
o There is room for your past experiences if they relate to the coachee’s problems.
o Bring your personality but don’t let it overpower the coachee. Your focus is on them.
Coaching Practice 1- Life track
Break up into groups of three. One is the coach, another the coachee and the third is the observer. Talk about the life track for 15 min.
Then the coach meets with the observer and hears the observer’s thoughts and impressions while the coachees meet together.
In the same groups and roles take the next 15 to set and work toward objectives and goals.
Example questions:
o Why was this a high moment? What were the ingredients?
o Where you the victim or did you create the conditions? What were the circumstances? How can you avoid those situations in the future? How did you create those conditions?
o What did you learn about yourself (reign in observations about other people; bring it back to them. They can’t control others, only themselves)?
o Don’t make assumptions. Ex. ‘my parents got divorced when I was five’. Don’t assume that they view the divorce as a bad thing. Ask them about it. What did that mean to you?
o Listen to how people describe things. If they use ‘feel’ a lot then they are probably feelers. It’s ok to ask them how did you feel questions. If they use ‘think’ more they are probably thinkers. Ask what they thought about things. How did you react to that?
o What kind of boundaries would you like to set up?
o What do you need in order for you to feel stronger? How do you feel about asking ____ for help?
o Why is there a misalignment?
o Find another voice inside of you to reign back that voice.
o Role-play- coach is ____. Coachee is themselves. How would you say it to ___?
o How do I as_______(Jim) feel now? Defensive?
o Imagine you have to say it to me in a way that I can hear it.
o What is the impact of this on you?
o What is the impact of this on the other person?
o What’s your limiting belief?
o What do other people need to hear from you?
o What other conversations do you need to have and with whom?
Notes on Life Track.
o Point out strong points.
o Talk about vigilant points (points to be aware of).
o The coachee can feel like they are telling a story. Feel free to interrupt and bring it back to deeper issues.
o The objective is to trigger awareness at a deeper level
o Verbalization makes us realize things.
Coaching Practice 2- Life track
The coaching triad starts again with different roles. Coach becomes observer, observer becomes coachee and coachee become coach.
G oals GROW Model
R eality
O ptions
W ill
What questions fit into these four categories? Where do they fit?
Goals
o Where do you see yourself in one month? (goals) Where do you see yourself in one year? (dreams)
o What would you like to see happen?
o What are you struggling with?
o How would you like to grow?
o Which one would you like to focus on most?
o What are the company/ group’s goals and values? Are your goals compatible with theirs?
o If you were 5% more effective in this area, what would it look like?
Reality
o Tell me what’s going on there.
o Is your goal realistic?
o How many people share this goal? Does your boss share that same goal?
o What have you done so far?
o How do you ____(ex. say ‘no’) when you ____(ex. do say no)?
o What does that tell you about you?
o How do others see you?
o What’s the benefit for you?
o What’s the benefit for others?
o (Asking ‘why’ is most important in goal setting. Then move on to ‘how’. ‘Why’ asks not only what you are moving toward but also what you are moving away from.)
Options
o What would you say to them?
o What else could you do?
o How would you describe this to your to your best friend?
o If you were in their shoes how would you like to hear it?
o What is the up side for you? For others? What is the down side for you? For others? A developed person is someone who sees things from multiple perspectives. We always need to think about results and relationships.
Will
o How do you feel about doing that?
o When?
o What part of you wants to do it?
o What part doesn’t
o What happens if you don’t get it?
o (Commitment to get it is very important. Most people say they will but won’t. This step is also where we form actions steps).
Coaching Practice 3- Life track
The coaching triad starts again with different roles. Coach becomes observer, observer becomes coachee and coachee becomes coach.
Homework:
Find a coachee, enter a coaching relationship, coach a minimum of 6 hours.
What did I notice about myself?
What did I find easy and natural?
What did I find more difficult, unnatural?
What was my learning?
What would I do differently if I could do it again?
Who am I, who do I want to be?
Coaching training day 1
Performance Consultants Coaching Training
Day one exercises and notes
Ice Breakers
· What were you like as a kid? (you are probably still that kid in a lot of ways)
· Tell about a leap you took into the unknown.
· Share an embarrassing moment.
· Talk about something you are proud of. (coaching can start with what you are good at)
Coaching needs to be practiced. We need 200 hours coaching training. Keep a journal on the sessions. We need to both coach and be coached.
Our objectives for this coaching training are _________________? Post-it
In groups answer:
1. What is coaching?
2. What is the purpose of coaching? (going further, faster, more smoothly, and more aligned than without coaching)
3. What are the different ways of learning?
4. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each way of learning?
5. Why is coaching more effective than other learning approaches?
Notes:
o In coaching group objective move down into personal goals. One person may need to work on speed and another on remembering their plays in order for the team to get better.
o Coaching both supports and challenges. We give feedback to help bring the goals into realization. Part of coaching is accountability. We are working on responsibility and awareness (when it clicks, we get clarity, hope) . Changing habits is tough; awareness is not enough. It’s important not to make the coachee feel guilty or uncomfortable in the responsibility piece.
o Coaching tends to look forward more than backwards where therapy tends to deal more with the past than the future. Coaching is more measurable.
o The average coaching session is usually 2- 6 two-hour sessions. Coaches deal with a time restraint.
o Coaching responds to the real needs of today. Ex lost in society, looking for meaning, dealing with insecurities and blind spots
o Coaches don’t just look at the behavior; they look at what’s behind the behavior. Objectives change so we need to get at the root first.
o Take issues one thing at a time. Ex. a tennis coach doesn’t work on the way you hold the racket, footwork, etc all at once.
o Prescriptive teaching (I have the knowledge and if you knew what I know you’d be ok) is limited. There is no hierarchy in coaching; it is not a transfer of knowledge (consulting). It is not prescriptive.
o Capture key words ex. Boiling over. Look at body language. Write down ideas. Don’t be afraid to interrupt. Work through it, not around it.
Mandalla Painting exercise
Outside of the circles- paint how you perceive the outside world.
Outer circle- How do you protect yourself from the outside world? (what barriers do you put up? What barriers do your coachees put up? Few are conscious of how much self protection is going on)
Middle circle part 1- How do you find your security? (is it tangible or intangible? What happens when these things are not there?)
Middle circle part 2- face to face; relationships; What do you look for? How do you approach relationships?
Middle circle part 3- Leadership; how do I fit into leadership?
Center circle- Our core; How do you connect with and bring out the core of yourself?
o Make sure if you do an exercise like this it feels ‘not marked or graded’. Help them to have fun and be free and know they are not being judged on their art or answers.
o This exercise show some of the varied perspectives of the world we bring.
What a coach does:
1) Think of someone who had a positive influence in your life and helped you go further than you would have gone on your own.
2) What did they do or say to give effect?
3) What effect did that have on you?
4) How much time did that person spend on you?
5) Where was his or her focus while he or she was with you?
Notes from our group:
o Personal (for both people) and not corporate
o Comfortable and secure while being challenged. Not feeling threatened.
o Kindness; not just projecting but really feeling
o Stays focused on the coachee
o A good coach always sees the potential in the other person
o They are available/ made themselves available
o Quality of time over amount of time spent
o Passionate
Elements of Coaching:
1. Questioning
2. Active listening
3. Effective feedback (they lead the person into something)
4. Relational (The coaching relationship is the foundation of coaching)
5. Coach does not bring their baggage into the coaching time.
Group time for questions:
1. What are my natural strengths in coaching?
2. What will be a stretch for me?
21 Questions
1. What quality do you want to see developed in yourself?
2. What will be the advantages to me and to others if this quality is developed?
3. With more of this quality what would you be doing differently?
4. Picture a film of yourself five years from now. You have 100% of this quality. What do you see? (What are the advantages of having this quality?)
5. What would be a milestone along the way?
6. How long will it take to get to the first step?
7. Where am I now on a scale from one to ten from this first step?
8. In the present time, without enough of this quality, how do you feel?
9. What have you done already to acquire more of this quality?
10. What’s stopping you from doing more?
11. If you didn’t acquire this quality, what are the consequences?
12. Sep outside and observe yourself. What’s really going on here?
13. If your survival depended on developing this quality, what would you do?
14. Think of someone you admire. What would they do about it?
15. The responsibility is yours for acquiring this quality. Other people can’t do it for you. Make a recommendation to yourself for what to do.
16. What could come in the way to slow you down?
17. What personal resistance could get in the way of your implementing your action plan?
18. What will you do to eliminate that resistance?
19. What support may you need and how will you get it?
20. What is your level of commitment to carry this out? (Are there lots of reasons to do it and lots of reasons not to or only reasons to work on it?)
21. (Group question) How did these questions effect you?
Homework:
Fill in your life track.
Read one of the following:
Coaching for Performance John Whitmore
Coaching Questions Tony Stolzfus
Coaching—Evoking Excellence in Others James Flaherty
Developing the Leader Within You John Maxwell
Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman
Working with Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman
Day one exercises and notes
Ice Breakers
· What were you like as a kid? (you are probably still that kid in a lot of ways)
· Tell about a leap you took into the unknown.
· Share an embarrassing moment.
· Talk about something you are proud of. (coaching can start with what you are good at)
Coaching needs to be practiced. We need 200 hours coaching training. Keep a journal on the sessions. We need to both coach and be coached.
Our objectives for this coaching training are _________________? Post-it
In groups answer:
1. What is coaching?
2. What is the purpose of coaching? (going further, faster, more smoothly, and more aligned than without coaching)
3. What are the different ways of learning?
4. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each way of learning?
5. Why is coaching more effective than other learning approaches?
Notes:
o In coaching group objective move down into personal goals. One person may need to work on speed and another on remembering their plays in order for the team to get better.
o Coaching both supports and challenges. We give feedback to help bring the goals into realization. Part of coaching is accountability. We are working on responsibility and awareness (when it clicks, we get clarity, hope) . Changing habits is tough; awareness is not enough. It’s important not to make the coachee feel guilty or uncomfortable in the responsibility piece.
o Coaching tends to look forward more than backwards where therapy tends to deal more with the past than the future. Coaching is more measurable.
o The average coaching session is usually 2- 6 two-hour sessions. Coaches deal with a time restraint.
o Coaching responds to the real needs of today. Ex lost in society, looking for meaning, dealing with insecurities and blind spots
o Coaches don’t just look at the behavior; they look at what’s behind the behavior. Objectives change so we need to get at the root first.
o Take issues one thing at a time. Ex. a tennis coach doesn’t work on the way you hold the racket, footwork, etc all at once.
o Prescriptive teaching (I have the knowledge and if you knew what I know you’d be ok) is limited. There is no hierarchy in coaching; it is not a transfer of knowledge (consulting). It is not prescriptive.
o Capture key words ex. Boiling over. Look at body language. Write down ideas. Don’t be afraid to interrupt. Work through it, not around it.
Mandalla Painting exercise
Outside of the circles- paint how you perceive the outside world.
Outer circle- How do you protect yourself from the outside world? (what barriers do you put up? What barriers do your coachees put up? Few are conscious of how much self protection is going on)
Middle circle part 1- How do you find your security? (is it tangible or intangible? What happens when these things are not there?)
Middle circle part 2- face to face; relationships; What do you look for? How do you approach relationships?
Middle circle part 3- Leadership; how do I fit into leadership?
Center circle- Our core; How do you connect with and bring out the core of yourself?
o Make sure if you do an exercise like this it feels ‘not marked or graded’. Help them to have fun and be free and know they are not being judged on their art or answers.
o This exercise show some of the varied perspectives of the world we bring.
What a coach does:
1) Think of someone who had a positive influence in your life and helped you go further than you would have gone on your own.
2) What did they do or say to give effect?
3) What effect did that have on you?
4) How much time did that person spend on you?
5) Where was his or her focus while he or she was with you?
Notes from our group:
o Personal (for both people) and not corporate
o Comfortable and secure while being challenged. Not feeling threatened.
o Kindness; not just projecting but really feeling
o Stays focused on the coachee
o A good coach always sees the potential in the other person
o They are available/ made themselves available
o Quality of time over amount of time spent
o Passionate
Elements of Coaching:
1. Questioning
2. Active listening
3. Effective feedback (they lead the person into something)
4. Relational (The coaching relationship is the foundation of coaching)
5. Coach does not bring their baggage into the coaching time.
Group time for questions:
1. What are my natural strengths in coaching?
2. What will be a stretch for me?
21 Questions
1. What quality do you want to see developed in yourself?
2. What will be the advantages to me and to others if this quality is developed?
3. With more of this quality what would you be doing differently?
4. Picture a film of yourself five years from now. You have 100% of this quality. What do you see? (What are the advantages of having this quality?)
5. What would be a milestone along the way?
6. How long will it take to get to the first step?
7. Where am I now on a scale from one to ten from this first step?
8. In the present time, without enough of this quality, how do you feel?
9. What have you done already to acquire more of this quality?
10. What’s stopping you from doing more?
11. If you didn’t acquire this quality, what are the consequences?
12. Sep outside and observe yourself. What’s really going on here?
13. If your survival depended on developing this quality, what would you do?
14. Think of someone you admire. What would they do about it?
15. The responsibility is yours for acquiring this quality. Other people can’t do it for you. Make a recommendation to yourself for what to do.
16. What could come in the way to slow you down?
17. What personal resistance could get in the way of your implementing your action plan?
18. What will you do to eliminate that resistance?
19. What support may you need and how will you get it?
20. What is your level of commitment to carry this out? (Are there lots of reasons to do it and lots of reasons not to or only reasons to work on it?)
21. (Group question) How did these questions effect you?
Homework:
Fill in your life track.
Read one of the following:
Coaching for Performance John Whitmore
Coaching Questions Tony Stolzfus
Coaching—Evoking Excellence in Others James Flaherty
Developing the Leader Within You John Maxwell
Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman
Working with Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman
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