stage one of development model and 4 love stages

Developmental Stages
A. Being
B. Doing
C. Thinking
D. Power and Identity
E. Structure
F. Identity and Sexuality
G. Interdependence
Chapter XV. Of the four degrees of love, and of the blessed state of the heavenly fatherland
Nevertheless, since we are carnal and are born of the lust of the flesh, it must be that our desire and our love shall have its beginning in the flesh. But rightly guided by the grace of God through these degrees, it will have its consummation in the spirit: for that was not first which is spiritual but that which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual (I Cor. 15:46). And we must bear the image of the earthy first, before we can bear the image of the heavenly. At first, man loves himself for his own sake. That is the flesh, which can appreciate nothing beyond itself. Next, he perceives that he cannot exist by himself, and so begins by faith to seek after God, and to love Him as something necessary to his own welfare. That is the second degree, to love God, not for God's sake, but selfishly. But when he has learned to worship God and to seek Him aright, meditating on God, reading God's Word, praying and obeying His commandments, he comes gradually to know what God is, and finds Him altogether lovely. So, having tasted and seen how gracious the Lord is (Ps. 34:8), he advances to the third degree, when he loves God, not merely as his benefactor but as God. Surely he must remain long in this state; and I know not whether it would be possible to make further progress in this life to that fourth degree and perfect condition wherein man loves himself solely for God's sake. Let any who have attained so far bear record; I confess it seems beyond my powers. Doubtless it will be reached when the good and faithful servant shall have entered into the joy of his Lord (Matt. 25:21), and been satisfied with the plenteousness of God's house (Ps. 36:8). For then in wondrous wise he will forget himself and as if delivered from self, he will grow wholly God's. Joined unto the Lord, he will then be one spirit with Him (I Cor. 6:17). This was what the prophet meant, I think, when he said: ' I will go forth in the strength of the Lord God: and will make mention of Thy righteousness only' (Ps. 71:16). Surely he knew that when he should go forth in the spiritual strength of the Lord, he would have been freed from the infirmities of the flesh, and would have nothing carnal to think of, but would be wholly filled in his spirit with the righteousness of the Lord.
In that day the members of Christ can say of themselves what St. Paul testified concerning their Head: 'Yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we Him no more' (II Cor. 5:16). None shall thereafter know himself after the flesh; for 'flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God' (I Cor. 15:50). Not that there will be no true substance of the flesh, but all carnal needs will be taken away, and the love of the flesh will be swallowed up in the love of the spirit, so that our weak human affections will be made divinely strong.
God sees our good, holy spirit. We also have a soul- heart mind will- then behavior – then world- World is in the power of the evil one. I have a choice to believe God or the world.

Father Truth !
Son !
Holy Spirit !
Our Spirit Renewed V
Soul- heart mind will battle(O)ground
Body ^
Behavior i
World i
Evil i

Behavior- Human Doing
Relational but not making deep connections.
We hold on to a life that can not bring life
Behavioral change will not drive the change your soul longs for.
Are like chaff in wheat. It is necessary for the wheat to grow but we must at one point you must clean up 1-3.
In here peace is the absence of conflict.
Usually there is a deep sense of need, but we are moving from being worthless to being worthy.
1) Acknowledging that God exists
We think:
1) We are too bad to be love. “If you really knew me, if you really see my heart, you wouldn’t love me. If we are abused by our caretakers/parents we think the reason they treat us bad is because we deserve it and if you knew me like they did you would mistreat me too.
-Without faith it is impossible to please God-
2) If I please God than I will have his love
3) I’m too good to be love. I don’t need it. Independence. I’m in charge.
Motivations: Can be fear, comparison, competition, guilt. Striving.
Most people can’t get past that we are truly loved.
2) Discipleship

3)

Human Being
Taking out the trash
We don’t start here unless we believe God is absolutely good.
We don’t naturally jump into 4-6.
We need to create an environment around ours and other people’s 4-6.
We can’t create a program for 4-6.
You are being drawn.
Motivation- Cease striving. If you loose your life for my sake you get it back.
In the garden we wanted to be independent. That will try to get in the way. We are moving from independence to dependence on God.
We can’t make this leap based on experiences. Experience causes us to believe that we are in an impossible situation. Trust over doing. How do react if our experience does not line up with what we expect. We have been faithful, why is God doing this??
We need to know what God is doing and why in order to trust Him and that is backwards.
Inner growth and maturity takes place here. Here peace loves anxiety.

Start to know that I breath my last breath because God is pleased to do so.
None of these steps come naturally.
Ego is removed in 4-6 You are still not confident and don’t believe we are truly loved by God.
No one is in just one stage. We move all the time. Like manna it rots the next day. Need our daily bread.
90% of how people are chosen for a job is chosen based on what we can see on the outside and not character based.
Disciplines- We sometimes pick up the disciplines on the 2-3 side and want them as a vehicle to push us through the others. Should do 1 thing to us.. help us pre-decide in any given situation. (I think to create space for God to move too) Legalism reigns here.
We will never be in a circumstance where we cannot love.
The transformative change comes from the Spirit of God working in us.

4) Inward- Grief starts the process. We have to give up the dream that 1-3 will bring us life. Applying ideas to our lives.
Motivators are Hope and wholeness.
We would rather be right than forgiven. Forgiven is in 4 ,right is in 3. Grace traffics in 4. It is not an excuse,
Disarm shame, fear, guilt, hurt, pride. Some people call it the dark night of the soul. Not a good name for it.
Exploring unresolved psychological and theological

5) Healing- healing is necessary for our souls. 5 you start outward again. The power is the power of purpose. Our calling is to Jesus not a place or an action or talent. We need to be independent from our circumstances. Powered by purpose. If our purpose is to further the kingdom why can’t we yield to something bigger than us. We are also to bow to marriage and not have marriage bow to us.
Surrender, submit, slave,
We move from being worthy to being unworthy. Gratefulness.
5th is what most people call transformation. Power by purpose
Motivator- to empower others. Submit surrender. Leads with other people.
God is good. Uncompromisingly the center. Relying totally on the goodness of God. We know God already knows all that is in our souls.
Wholeness. We don’t serve in order to gain something. We serve because we have been served and God’s grace is sufficient. Empathy-- (the ability to identify, understand the other person; a quality of being) (technology is harder to show empathy) (will give you more substance in relationships, messier relationships) becomes the focus. We have others in mind. A calmness to people in this area. No striving. Quiet waters run deep.

6) Learning how to love- inside out, by faith not sight
Power by wisdom
Motivation is peace (Jesus will be our peace)
Compassion
Contentment
Open hand- All is God
Calmness,
Jn 14- we don’t have to strive to know the Spirit. God is present, call to our awareness His presence.
But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
We need to know what He said first to be reminded of it. Your obedience needs to come on basis of relationship. At one point we need to let go and trust.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. (1-3)
The Spirit will convict the world. We need to learn to be a draw. Let the Spirit convict the world.
The Spirit of God will guide us with all the truth.
Job- not about suffering, about trust. We need to gain the confidence that God is able to care for us.
We are most like God in how we think and least like God in what we can do.
We have this well spring of things inside of us just waiting to get out.
I will give you life and you can experience joy in the midst of a fallen world.
humor- the ability to laugh at yourself is the most unmistakable behavioral characteristic of humility, confront issues with out anger
joy- a perspective i.e. death, you face blindside issues (the believer does not have a dark side, we have a blind side. We are trying to redeem (1tim4:4) and not get rid of. They can be good. You can’t see your own but.
Heal addictions. We think God breaks us like Misery but that is not how he operates. We don’t have anything that we shouldn’t be put into the light.
Compassion
Love
Boundaries- love waits, not controlling, depends on the other person to move forward. We can’t compromise our souls for someone else. (God is not a child abuser; he won’t make us do things that are bad for us)