Isolate the tensions in coflict

4 tensions.

Living in tension can be good. it is what helps us to grow. It means that we care enough for thoughts, emotions, and the Spirit to act in our lives. But if we are in tension or turmoil between multiple areas of our lives at once it can be overwhelming and steal our confidence or even push us into poor decisions by sucoming to external pressures. Say for example you have an issue with a family member. Going to them to deal with the issue is usually a step in the right direction. But often with family and friends that we have a history there are flooding emotions and unresolved feelings and emotions within ourselves. If we are dealing with the internal tension that these bring at the same time that we are dealing with the tension of the relationship with our family member we will have multiple sources of tension. If we do not bring the issue to God there may be a feeling that we are uncertain of how God wants us to proceed in the situation. This will add a third layer of tension. Conflicts or conversations with other members of the family who have opinions about the issue will add yet another layer to the mix. If all of these are dealt with at once there will be a much greater chance of an eruption, saying things that are regrettable, or becoming a pushover. But if each of these tensions are dealt with on their own they may bring more confidence into the other areas of tension. If we sort our our feeling and bring the situation to God so that we are confident in the approach that we would like to take in the conflict (not in the solution since it should be a conversation but in our approach) then we will enter in with more peace, confidence, and less guilt. This in turn may have positive results in the effects with confronting the family member. Even if the family member does not react favorably there is still confidence that that was a good step to take. Isolating the tensions can be a great tool in dealing more effectively with conflict. (The tensions are spiritual- with God, internal- within our emotions thoughts and beliefs, interpersonal- with yourself and another person, systemic- with you and the family or other system, or cultural with you and the culture).