From : http://www.firststeps-surrey.nhs.uk/anxiety.htm
Anxiety: the low-down
We all experience anxiety from time to time. Anxiety is part of the body’s natural response to danger – a means of alerting the mind to impending threat and ensuring we stay out of its way. But for some people anxiety can become overwhelming, continuing for prolonged periods of time and seriously affecting their ability to get on with everyday things. It’s estimated that more than one in ten people are likely to have a ‘disabling anxiety disorder’ at some point in their lives.
With generalised anxiety it’s not always clear what is making someone feel anxious. People often report being aware of feeling anxious all the time. When there’s no identifiable cause, people can then become anxious about feeling anxious, and a vicious circle begins. This type of anxiety can often relate to a particular underlying thought or belief that a person has about themselves or about the world in general. It can be very difficult for an individual to spot these kinds of beliefs because they are often a part of what makes us the people that we are.
Sometimes anxiety can take the form of panic. During a panic attack, the heart starts pounding and the person can feel shaky, sick or unable to breathe properly. Serious panic attacks can prevent people from going out or going to work. For more information on panic attacks, click here.
Anxiety can also manifest itself as a phobia, whereby people develop intense fears of particular situations or things. With phobias, people can be afraid of going outside, of being in crowded places, or of particular animals or insects.
In another expression of anxiety, people develop what is known as an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This is when people try to control their anxious feelings by performing certain actions over and over again, such as washing their hands, checking they have locked the door or turned off the gas. For more information on OCD, click here.
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Causes
Why do people suffer anxiety disorders? It is likely that many factors contribute to a person’s chances of developing an anxiety disorder. Experts have broken down the potential causes into three groups: genetics, brain chemistry, and the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism.
* Genetics
o Anxiety disorders tend to run in the family. If a parent has anxiety problems, their children will have a higher chance of developing anxiety themselves.
o Growing up in an abusive household can also influence predispositions or tendencies for nervousness and anxiety.
o Research shows a genetic tendency for chemical imbalances (see below) in people with anxiety, which owes much to inherited brain structure and processes.
* Brain chemistry
o Chemical imbalances in the brain can affect the way our ‘neurotransmitters’ (chemical messengers) regulate our thoughts and feelings. An imbalance of the brain’s two main neurotransmitters, serotonin and dopamine, can cause people to feel anxious or depressed.
* ‘Fight or flight’
o When the body is under threat it automatically prepares to either defend itself or run. This ‘fight or flight’ mechanism (that also triggers feelings such as anger, causes our heart rate to increase, our eyes to dilate, and the body to ready itself for a dangerous situation. Even though these effects are intended to help us survive, sometimes the body misunderstands a situation; perceiving danger when in reality there is none (sitting an exam, giving a speech, etc), leading to anxiety.
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Signs and symptoms
Anxiety is a mixture of thoughts, feelings, physical and behavioural symptoms.
Physical symptoms:
* Dizziness
* Headaches
* Periods of intense heart-pounding
* Tingling sensations and/or pins and needles
* Tremors
* Muscle aches
* Stomach upsets
* Loose bowel movements
* Periods of feeling winded
* Excessive thirst
* Frequent passing of water
* Failure to respond to sexual stimulation
* Painful or stopped periods in women
Thoughts and feelings:
* Worries and catastrophic thoughts (anticipating the worst outcome)
* Overestimation of danger
* Underestimation of coping abilities
* Underestimation of help available
* Feeling nervous, anxious or panicky
* Feeling irritable, easily lose their patience
* Becoming depressed and/or
* Becoming preoccupied or obsessed with one particular subject
* Having difficulty concentrating
* Having difficulty sleeping
Behavioural symptoms:
* Avoiding situations where anxiety may occur
* Leaving situations when anxiety begins to occur
* Trying to do things perfectly to prevent danger
* Trying to unrealistically predict the future in order to control events and therefore manage anxiety
The relationship between thoughts, feelings, physical symptoms and behavioural symptoms can create a vicious anxiety cycle that can be easily triggered and hard to break. If people fear or are anxious in certain situations, they can experience some of the physical symptoms above. These symptoms are unpleasant and can trigger thoughts such as ‘Something awful is going to happen’, ‘I am going to faint or have a heart attack’. Such thoughts can then lead people to behave in a way that will get them out of the situation or take precautions they think will help them cope (e.g. having a drink), but which in turn can just reinforce the anxiety.
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Selfhelp toolbox
Self-help: dealing with anxiety
The good news is that there are some very effective techniques for dealing with anxiety disorders. Most of these take a practical, step-by-step approach to coming to terms with the problem and addressing the physical symptoms and unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. Here are few examples:
1. Relaxation
To manage your anxiety you must first reduce the severity of your physical symptoms through relaxation. Relaxation could merely consist of doing something you find relaxing, such as reading, watching TV, listening to music or doing exercise. Such activities can help you unwind by taking your mind off any tension you might be experiencing.
Or, relaxation can take the form of a very specific technique, such as:
Distraction techniques help to take your attention away from anxious thoughts:
* Try to visualise a pleasant scene in your mind; perhaps somewhere you’ve been where you felt calm and happy – or an object, like a flower or your favourite car. Really concentrate on it, bring it to life in your mind.
* A ‘bridging object’ such as a photograph or souvenir from a happy time can, when looked at, help trigger positive thoughts and reduce anxiety.
* Try doing a puzzle or sums in your head, or reading a good book, or counting the number of red doors you see on your way home, or imagining what the people you see do for a living.
Once you are able to use distraction techniques effectively, try not to remain dependent on them, but also learn to challenge the anxious, frightening thoughts you’re experiencing (see number 2 below).
Simple breathing techniques can also help you relax. When you become anxious or frightened you often start to breathe more quickly, irregularly and shallowly, causing oxygen to be pumped around the body faster than normal, leading to tingling sensations, faintness and dizziness. One of the effects of over-breathing, often associated with anxiety, is that you feel you need more air when actually you don’t.
Try to recognise if you’re doing this and slow your breathing down. If breathing can be controlled, the severity of symptoms may be reduced and conditions successfully managed. It’s important that you establish a regular breathing rhythm, such as “in two-three, out two-three”, until things have returned to normal. To find out more about how to get your breathing under control, click here.
Deep muscle relaxation is great for anyone experiencing stress or anxiety. To practice deep muscle relaxation:
* Find a quiet, warm and comfortable place
* Choose your most relaxed time of day
* Lie down, get comfortable, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few minutes, breathing slowly and calmly
* Say the word “calm” or “relax” to yourself as you breath out
* Breathe in when you tense your muscles and breathe out when you relax
Then, work through your muscles in order:
* Start with your hands. Clench one fist tightly and take note of the tension this produces in the muscles in you hand and forearm. Concentrate on this tension and then relax your hand
* Do the same with the other hand
* Now work through other muscle groups in the same way. Each time you relax a group of muscles think how they feel when they are relaxed. Don’t try to relax but just let go of the tension. Allow your muscles to relax as much as you can. Think about the difference in the way they feel when they are relaxed and when they’re tense
It is useful to stick to the same order as you work through the muscle groups:
* Hands - clench fists, then relax
* Arms - bend your elbows and tense your arms. Feel the tension especially in your upper arms. Remember, do this for a few seconds and then relax
* Neck - press your head back and roll it from side to side slowly. Feel how the tension moves. Then bring your head forward into a comfortable position
* Face - there are several muscles here, but it is enough to think about your forehead and jaw. First lower your eyebrows in a frown. Relax your forehead. You can also raise your eyebrows, and then relax. Now, clench your jaw, notice the difference when you relax
* Shoulders - shrug your shoulders up - then relax them
* Chest - take a deep breath, hold it in for a few seconds, notice the tension, then relax. Let your breathing return to normal
* Stomach - tense your stomach muscles as tightly as you can and relax
* Buttocks - squeeze your buttocks together and relax
* Legs - straighten your legs and bend your feet towards your face then relax
To make best use of relaxation you need to:
* Try to practice regularly – ideally every day if you can
* Start to use relaxation in everyday situations
* Learn to relax without having to tense your muscles first
* Use parts of relaxation to help in difficult situations, eg breathing slowly
* Try to develop a more relaxed lifestyle
2. Identify common thinking errors and challenge unhelpful thoughts.
Initially, try to identify any patterns in your anxiety by making a note of the times when you are more anxious than usual (e.g. if you would normally rate your anxiety at 6 on a scale of 1 – 10 where 1 is not anxious and 10 is extremely anxious, make a note of the times when your anxiety goes up to an 8 or 9). Then, once the times have been identified, try to think about what was happening at those times. What were you doing, who were you with, what time of day was it etc.? The next thing to note down and try to identify is: “What was I thinking at the time that led me to feel more anxious”? If you find this difficult or if nothing comes to mind, have a think about any images or memories that came up. Quite often, when our thoughts have been identified, they can be categorised into common thinking errors. These are:
Awfulising/catastrophising : thinking the worst and overestimating the chances of disaster, e.g. whatever can go wrong will go wrong, or viewing a setback as being part of a never-ending pattern of defeat. Ask yourself:
* What is the evidence for and against these thoughts?
* How many times have you had these thoughts?
* Have your worst fears ever materialised?
* What would you say to a friend who expressed similar thoughts about themselves or their lives?
The process could look something like this:
Anxious thought
I want to go on holiday, but I’m afraid that my plane will crash.
Evidence for
Aeroplanes crash from time to time.
Evidence against
Flying is actually the safest form of transport. Air crashes are very rare.
New Thinking
If I’m afraid of flying I should be afraid of driving too, as there are more accidents on the roads than in the air. So, maybe I shouldn’t worry about flying anymore. I’m going on holiday!
Jumping to conclusions (predicting the future): e.g. “I’ll never be able to do that.” Look for the evidence, how do you know you won’t be able to? Think of previous successes you have had.
Living by fixed/inflexible rules: e.g. constantly saying “must, should, ought…” Tell yourself to stop trying to be perfect. You can live according to your principles/rules, but don’t punish yourself if you can’t always keep to them.
All or nothing thinking: thinking in absolutes with no middle ground; black and white or good and bad, and a tendency to judge people or events using general labels, such as: “If I do that they’ll think I’m stupid”, “I’m a failure”. Try to see and allow for a middle ground and think about what evidence there is for and against your labelling.
Personalising: taking responsibility and blame for everything that goes wrong. Try to recognise the role of other factors and people when things go wrong, and remember that sometimes in life things just go wrong with nobody to blame.
Once you have identified what thinking error(s) you might be making, try to challenge your anxious thoughts. If you can’t think of how to challenge them, ask for advice from (or imagine the advice you would give and get from) two people you trust/admire.
3. Get active
Another strategy is to take aerobic exercise. Any low impact physical activity that leaves the heart racing slightly (e.g. swimming, brisk walking, gardening, dancing, yoga), but not involving carrying heavy weights or sudden exertion, will help.
By effectively giving the heart exercise it will, like any other muscle, become stronger. Exercise will help to release anxious tension and will stimulate the body’s own natural antidepressant chemicals, for more information about physical activity/exercise click here. A stronger heart will be less prone to the kind of pounding that can make the physical symptoms of anxiety so unpleasant.
4. Put your foot down – say “no” from time to time
It’s all too easy to become overloaded. Saying ‘yes’ all the time to other people’s demands and taking on more and more can lead to excessive pressure, which in turn leads to stress and anxiety. It’s healthy and perfectly acceptable to put your foot down and say “no” now and then.
This may mean a quick lesson in assertiveness: assertiveness is a way of expressing feelings, thoughts and beliefs in an open and honest manner without violating the rights of others. Assertiveness is a healthy alternative to aggression (where we abuse other people’s rights) or passiveness (where we abuse our own rights).
By being more assertive people can make sure their needs and rights are met, which can reduce tension.
For information on assertiveness, click here or visit www.pmhtglos.org.uk/assertive.htm
5. Improve communication
Talking things over with family, friends and loved ones, or other people that you trust, can be a very helpful process. Whatever you’re going through, open and honest communication can lift the burden and make you feel a whole lot better. Certainly don’t bottle things up. Talk to people about how you feel. If you find this difficult, your GP/doctor may be able to recommend a counsellor.
Alternatively, try contacting one of the telephone/email support agencies listed below and in the Useful Contacts section of this website.
There are probably many people out there who are experiencing similar feelings to you. If you think you would benefit from talking to them, there may be a local group in your area, or a website forum where you can chat online. Call First Steps to find out what’s available locally.
For other general self-help techniques, click here.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Health Insurance List
Christian Care Medi-Share
Not health Insurance but similar. A pool of money that helps pay medical bills.
www.mychristiancare.org 1800 psalm 23
Personal Navigators
Helps to find info on what is available for social services in your area
1800 591 8234 (zero for operator and they will call back)
http://www.vnacs.org/index.php?page=personal-navigator-program
Has a printable brochure
Tricounty Community Network-
Can inquire about health care services in your area
610 705 3301 http://www.tcnetwork.info/index.php
The Clinic
Pville’s health clinic with a good resource page on their website
http://www.theclinicpa.org/resources
Montgomery County Health Department
610-970-5040
Norristown Regional Health Center
Outpatient services at low prices
610-278-7787 http://www.dvch.org/norristown.php
Community Health and Dental
In Pottstown- helps to give care based on income
www.ch-dc.org 610-326-9460
Catholic Social Services of Montgomery County
$ management classes, Counselors, food bank, help for seniors
610.279.7372 http://www.familyservices-phl.org/montgomerycountry.html
Harcum College Cohen Dental Center
Discounted Exams and Cleanings ($10-$20) 610-526-6110
http://www.harcum.edu/CS_ABO_Cohen_Dental_Center.aspx
Montgomery County Community College Dental Clinic, Blue Bell
(215) 641-6483
Phoenixville Health Care Access
Dental, Vision, Teeth. Available in Chester and some of Montgomery county
610) 935-3165 http://www.phcafoundation.org/eligible.html
Healthy Start- Helps young mothers and pregnancies.
http://www.paperinatal.org/app/webroot/files/Document8.pdf
Available in Chester and Philadelphia counties (not in Montgomery)
(610) 497-7344
Possible Helps
www.ehealthinsurance.com- Internet listing of health insurances
http://www.nahu.org/consumer/findagent3.cfm - NAHU- find an insurance broker near you
Not health Insurance but similar. A pool of money that helps pay medical bills.
www.mychristiancare.org 1800 psalm 23
Personal Navigators
Helps to find info on what is available for social services in your area
1800 591 8234 (zero for operator and they will call back)
http://www.vnacs.org/index.php?page=personal-navigator-program
Has a printable brochure
Tricounty Community Network-
Can inquire about health care services in your area
610 705 3301 http://www.tcnetwork.info/index.php
The Clinic
Pville’s health clinic with a good resource page on their website
http://www.theclinicpa.org/resources
Montgomery County Health Department
610-970-5040
Norristown Regional Health Center
Outpatient services at low prices
610-278-7787 http://www.dvch.org/norristown.php
Community Health and Dental
In Pottstown- helps to give care based on income
www.ch-dc.org 610-326-9460
Catholic Social Services of Montgomery County
$ management classes, Counselors, food bank, help for seniors
610.279.7372 http://www.familyservices-phl.org/montgomerycountry.html
Harcum College Cohen Dental Center
Discounted Exams and Cleanings ($10-$20) 610-526-6110
http://www.harcum.edu/CS_ABO_Cohen_Dental_Center.aspx
Montgomery County Community College Dental Clinic, Blue Bell
(215) 641-6483
Phoenixville Health Care Access
Dental, Vision, Teeth. Available in Chester and some of Montgomery county
610) 935-3165 http://www.phcafoundation.org/eligible.html
Healthy Start- Helps young mothers and pregnancies.
http://www.paperinatal.org/app/webroot/files/Document8.pdf
Available in Chester and Philadelphia counties (not in Montgomery)
(610) 497-7344
Possible Helps
www.ehealthinsurance.com- Internet listing of health insurances
http://www.nahu.org/consumer/findagent3.cfm - NAHU- find an insurance broker near you
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
camp memories from facebook
YJ has experienced a peice of heaven on earth for a week.
Alix- just wanted to say how amazing this week has been and that I adored seeing and meeting everyone. It really feels like I left part of myself at camp and it'll just have to stay there until next year. Beautiful week, love you all.
YoulimJ- I MISS CAMP! :( And all the amazing people who made it the awesomest ever. (:
Chantal is allready missin Chloë Meyronnet, Alix Chaume, Jonathan Lichtlé, Gareth Loughlin, Youlim Natalie Jun ت and Hannah Pearce!!!!!!!
Hannah Had an amaaazing afternoon with the best water fight in the world!And not to forget the mud wrestling with Chloë Meyronnet, Isaac Holmyard, Kelsey Remple, Ashley M. Gardner and Chantal Van Houtte ...the list goes on!
Chloe- We all live in a yellow submarine - A WHAT?
Kid's Camp 2010 ♥
Valentine- why did camp have to end? :'(
Julian misses his sugar cubes and coffee at camp with gareth and jamie
Julian- Kids camp iccp 2010 starts In 2hours and 20minutes :D. :)
Alix- just wanted to say how amazing this week has been and that I adored seeing and meeting everyone. It really feels like I left part of myself at camp and it'll just have to stay there until next year. Beautiful week, love you all.
YoulimJ- I MISS CAMP! :( And all the amazing people who made it the awesomest ever. (:
Chantal is allready missin Chloë Meyronnet, Alix Chaume, Jonathan Lichtlé, Gareth Loughlin, Youlim Natalie Jun ت and Hannah Pearce!!!!!!!
Hannah Had an amaaazing afternoon with the best water fight in the world!And not to forget the mud wrestling with Chloë Meyronnet, Isaac Holmyard, Kelsey Remple, Ashley M. Gardner and Chantal Van Houtte ...the list goes on!
Chloe- We all live in a yellow submarine - A WHAT?
Kid's Camp 2010 ♥
Valentine- why did camp have to end? :'(
Julian misses his sugar cubes and coffee at camp with gareth and jamie
Julian- Kids camp iccp 2010 starts In 2hours and 20minutes :D. :)
I’d like to say a few words about these two young men. Some words that I would use, to describe you…
Humble- Pirate, allows me to call him youki
Sea cucumber, Self made dragon costume
Talented- WB, playing pots in the Cevennes, Playing characters that range from soft hearted thugs to Oinky and Zoinkey. I won’t go on to describe their performaces but they took down the house.
Creative- Youkang can
Loving- Seem to care for all the people around them.
This week marks a great change in your lives. You move from a place in life where the majority of the important decisions in your life are made for you to a place in life where you are expected to make these big decisions yourself. What will you do with it new freedom? You will invariably try to pursue your idea of success.
How will you judge if you are living a full life?
Will you judge your life on the world’s standards of success? A job that is better. A home that is bigger. A personality that is dominant. Influence over the masses. Who has met the world’s standards? Who has done all that men want? Who is not a failure in some ways in the world’s eyes?
No, by the world’s standards are unattainable. We can’t all dominate. We can’t all be the ones who are at the top.
So what is success?
I will share a story with about a man.
He has no home. In a dark night the man walks down a winding path in the moonlight. He walks urgently to find a friend to help this friend in his time of trouble. The man has friends. But he knows that they are fickle and they will not stand by him if hard times come. They are all fair weather friends.
He is not impressive in his looks. He is not particularly handsome, not particularly tall, he has not outstanding features. His hands are rough from years of physical labor. He has never worked in an office, never managed anyone, never held a political office.
He thinks of the future and wonders what will become. Will he live a long life? Will he be loved by people? But he knows the answer to both is no. He knows he will not live a long life. He knows that many people hate him. His family doesn’t understand him. They want him to come back to live with his Mom and stop wandering around talking to people and partying. They don’t understand that he does not want work in the same field as step-dad. He has a different passion, a different passion. People looked down on him because he did not hang out with the right people. He hung out with the type of people most people would consider losers. They were not successful. They had criminal records. They had bad reputation. But these are the ones he chose to spend most of his time with. No one understood why. Maybe he sees something different in them.
On the path a beautiful woman joins him. She whispers something in his ear and they laugh about it. They are not dating. He has never dated anyone. He is a virgin. He knows that the culture requires someone of his age to be married. They wonder why he does not take this woman or some other as his wife. They obviously love each other. But he does not see her in that way. He loves her with a different kind of love.
He is dressed in the only outfits he owns. He does not have enough money to own more than this. Some of his peers are very sharply dressed. They always are in style. This is very important to them. They wonder why he doesn’t care about the way he is dressed. Will he ever get with it? Why doesn’t he buy something else?
On the way he sees a soldier. The soldier is a very important man. He is the commander of many regiments and comes to speak with the man. The man has never served in the military, never held a weapon, has never chosen violence as a way to influence anyone, holds no political office. All the politicians he has met with thought he was crazy. They did not want to hear from him. He had no influence on politics. Yet this commander of many comes to him along the roadside. He seems to want something from the man. They speak a few words with each other and then go their separate ways. The commander runs away quickly in the direction that he came from. He seems to have a smile on his face and a wild look in his eyes.
As the sun moves up in the sky and the day becomes warmer a man rolls quickly up in his fresh new expensive wheels. He is the son of a millionaire and acts like it. He has gotten used to being in style. Everyone respects this powerful young entrepreneur. They respect and fear him. Why he is speaking with this man is a mystery to many. The man has no means of income, owns nothing, has no business, and does not control large amounts of money. He has no car, no cell phone, and most importantly no university degrees. Perhaps this young millionaire is mistaken with whom this man is. But no, he seems to be intent to speak with this man. The rich man enters the dialogue full of self-confidence and assurance. Only a few minutes later the young man, head down, pensively walks back towards his ride. He seems to be contemplating something of great importance and then suddenly shakes his head, dusts off his feet and rides away. The man remains behind. You notice out of the corner of your eye that he is weeping as he watches the young man leave. But the strangest thing is that he does not seem to be saddened for himself by the loss of this potentially powerful friend but instead he seems to be weeping for the rich young man and the loss that he has suffered.
Many people think he is radical but he knows the truth. He knows that everything he does is a copy of someone else. He quotes things all the time. Not Simpsons quotes or things from movies but people wonder if he has been reading too much. Why does he spend so much time memorizing quotes?
He is not independent. In fact, he can’t do a single thing by himself. Culture says that we should not depend on anyone but daily the man depends on others. In fact he knows that he cannot do a single thing useful on his own. He has come to terms with this. Independence is not the way he aims to be. But who, he thinks, will respect someone who is co-dependent like me?
The man is getting hungry. Fortunately he is close to the home of a friend. He sits and talks while his friend runs around frantically to prepare the meal. Does she want some help in the kitchen? The man is not known for being a good cook. He would prefer to sit and talk. He takes his time to enjoy other people’s company. This ticks other people off. His friend who is working away in the kitchen expresses her displeasure. His friend is yelled at for not helping out enough. He wonders if the anger is also aimed at him.
He walks along and people wander in and out of the path he is on. Some people remain for a time some for longer. But only a select few will remain with him for life.
He thinks about his future. There is a warrant out for his arrest. He knows he will soon be brought in. What has he achieved in life?
Is his life a success?
You have been observing this man for some time as you walk down this path but now he comes to you. As he draws closer to you and you take steps toward him you are now close enough to him to be able to look into his eyes. But looking into the depths of them you can see that there is something different about him. Everything about him exuded a deep sense of love, hope, and joy.
Suddenly there is a choice you need to make. How will you respond to this man? Is he a success in your eyes? Do your future dreams match the dream that he has for you? Is your idea of success the same as his?
In your encounter with him you come to realize that this is the same man who will come to measure your life by his standard of success. How will what you did measure up?
You begin to realize that He will not look at the amount of money you made. Nor the sexiness that you have exuded. He will not judge you by the degrees on your wall, the possessions that you own or the cv that you accumulated. He won’t judge you on how good of a cook you are or how well you played an instrument even how hard you tried at these things or how many people liked you?
He begins to move in a new direction and invites you to come with him. He is heading for cross and says that he will carry it for you. He seems way less concerned with success than he is deepening his relationship with you. He says that he will lay down his life to be with you. And does not measure a man by his outward appearance but by his heart.
So the question he asks you as you are preparing to take the first big steps into your future is this…
What IS success in the eyes of your maker? And how is he calling you into it?
Humble- Pirate, allows me to call him youki
Sea cucumber, Self made dragon costume
Talented- WB, playing pots in the Cevennes, Playing characters that range from soft hearted thugs to Oinky and Zoinkey. I won’t go on to describe their performaces but they took down the house.
Creative- Youkang can
Loving- Seem to care for all the people around them.
This week marks a great change in your lives. You move from a place in life where the majority of the important decisions in your life are made for you to a place in life where you are expected to make these big decisions yourself. What will you do with it new freedom? You will invariably try to pursue your idea of success.
How will you judge if you are living a full life?
Will you judge your life on the world’s standards of success? A job that is better. A home that is bigger. A personality that is dominant. Influence over the masses. Who has met the world’s standards? Who has done all that men want? Who is not a failure in some ways in the world’s eyes?
No, by the world’s standards are unattainable. We can’t all dominate. We can’t all be the ones who are at the top.
So what is success?
I will share a story with about a man.
He has no home. In a dark night the man walks down a winding path in the moonlight. He walks urgently to find a friend to help this friend in his time of trouble. The man has friends. But he knows that they are fickle and they will not stand by him if hard times come. They are all fair weather friends.
He is not impressive in his looks. He is not particularly handsome, not particularly tall, he has not outstanding features. His hands are rough from years of physical labor. He has never worked in an office, never managed anyone, never held a political office.
He thinks of the future and wonders what will become. Will he live a long life? Will he be loved by people? But he knows the answer to both is no. He knows he will not live a long life. He knows that many people hate him. His family doesn’t understand him. They want him to come back to live with his Mom and stop wandering around talking to people and partying. They don’t understand that he does not want work in the same field as step-dad. He has a different passion, a different passion. People looked down on him because he did not hang out with the right people. He hung out with the type of people most people would consider losers. They were not successful. They had criminal records. They had bad reputation. But these are the ones he chose to spend most of his time with. No one understood why. Maybe he sees something different in them.
On the path a beautiful woman joins him. She whispers something in his ear and they laugh about it. They are not dating. He has never dated anyone. He is a virgin. He knows that the culture requires someone of his age to be married. They wonder why he does not take this woman or some other as his wife. They obviously love each other. But he does not see her in that way. He loves her with a different kind of love.
He is dressed in the only outfits he owns. He does not have enough money to own more than this. Some of his peers are very sharply dressed. They always are in style. This is very important to them. They wonder why he doesn’t care about the way he is dressed. Will he ever get with it? Why doesn’t he buy something else?
On the way he sees a soldier. The soldier is a very important man. He is the commander of many regiments and comes to speak with the man. The man has never served in the military, never held a weapon, has never chosen violence as a way to influence anyone, holds no political office. All the politicians he has met with thought he was crazy. They did not want to hear from him. He had no influence on politics. Yet this commander of many comes to him along the roadside. He seems to want something from the man. They speak a few words with each other and then go their separate ways. The commander runs away quickly in the direction that he came from. He seems to have a smile on his face and a wild look in his eyes.
As the sun moves up in the sky and the day becomes warmer a man rolls quickly up in his fresh new expensive wheels. He is the son of a millionaire and acts like it. He has gotten used to being in style. Everyone respects this powerful young entrepreneur. They respect and fear him. Why he is speaking with this man is a mystery to many. The man has no means of income, owns nothing, has no business, and does not control large amounts of money. He has no car, no cell phone, and most importantly no university degrees. Perhaps this young millionaire is mistaken with whom this man is. But no, he seems to be intent to speak with this man. The rich man enters the dialogue full of self-confidence and assurance. Only a few minutes later the young man, head down, pensively walks back towards his ride. He seems to be contemplating something of great importance and then suddenly shakes his head, dusts off his feet and rides away. The man remains behind. You notice out of the corner of your eye that he is weeping as he watches the young man leave. But the strangest thing is that he does not seem to be saddened for himself by the loss of this potentially powerful friend but instead he seems to be weeping for the rich young man and the loss that he has suffered.
Many people think he is radical but he knows the truth. He knows that everything he does is a copy of someone else. He quotes things all the time. Not Simpsons quotes or things from movies but people wonder if he has been reading too much. Why does he spend so much time memorizing quotes?
He is not independent. In fact, he can’t do a single thing by himself. Culture says that we should not depend on anyone but daily the man depends on others. In fact he knows that he cannot do a single thing useful on his own. He has come to terms with this. Independence is not the way he aims to be. But who, he thinks, will respect someone who is co-dependent like me?
The man is getting hungry. Fortunately he is close to the home of a friend. He sits and talks while his friend runs around frantically to prepare the meal. Does she want some help in the kitchen? The man is not known for being a good cook. He would prefer to sit and talk. He takes his time to enjoy other people’s company. This ticks other people off. His friend who is working away in the kitchen expresses her displeasure. His friend is yelled at for not helping out enough. He wonders if the anger is also aimed at him.
He walks along and people wander in and out of the path he is on. Some people remain for a time some for longer. But only a select few will remain with him for life.
He thinks about his future. There is a warrant out for his arrest. He knows he will soon be brought in. What has he achieved in life?
Is his life a success?
You have been observing this man for some time as you walk down this path but now he comes to you. As he draws closer to you and you take steps toward him you are now close enough to him to be able to look into his eyes. But looking into the depths of them you can see that there is something different about him. Everything about him exuded a deep sense of love, hope, and joy.
Suddenly there is a choice you need to make. How will you respond to this man? Is he a success in your eyes? Do your future dreams match the dream that he has for you? Is your idea of success the same as his?
In your encounter with him you come to realize that this is the same man who will come to measure your life by his standard of success. How will what you did measure up?
You begin to realize that He will not look at the amount of money you made. Nor the sexiness that you have exuded. He will not judge you by the degrees on your wall, the possessions that you own or the cv that you accumulated. He won’t judge you on how good of a cook you are or how well you played an instrument even how hard you tried at these things or how many people liked you?
He begins to move in a new direction and invites you to come with him. He is heading for cross and says that he will carry it for you. He seems way less concerned with success than he is deepening his relationship with you. He says that he will lay down his life to be with you. And does not measure a man by his outward appearance but by his heart.
So the question he asks you as you are preparing to take the first big steps into your future is this…
What IS success in the eyes of your maker? And how is he calling you into it?
memories
André Hey Adam, I take it you're the spokesman for the Hoovers so I'll post this on your wall :) I just wanted to say it has been simply amazing getting to know you and Tasha. I realize now that such a huge number of my best memories were spent at camp or at youth group. I think the only word I can say to describe the two of... you is "amazing". As you said Adam, I will keep pursuing God. I am bewildered by what He has done for your lives. I really hope to see you SOON, and enjoy Philly. Thanks for everything Adamn and Tasha, you great people. I'm gonna miss you loads !
Yk- never met anyone like you. Want to be like.
Br- Good, loving, think about others
Nao- Use authority with love
Meg- not just take care of the kids but love them
Alokita- wants yg with us, you won't be there so
Yk- never met anyone like you. Want to be like.
Br- Good, loving, think about others
Nao- Use authority with love
Meg- not just take care of the kids but love them
Alokita- wants yg with us, you won't be there so
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Ideas for next year abide connect bless
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the
area of "Abide"?
-Accountability initiators/ leaders, prayer breakfasts, mentor/discipleship relationships.
-Encourage people to study and connecting with God on their own and in small groups. All levels of belonging- intimate, personal, social, public
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Connect"?
-Leadership community, -story time, encouragement, questions, cross pollination, building the leaders up, teaching, food.
-Connecting time at staff meeting, one month later- did they get connected in?
-Connecting team- look for new people, email the names to the staff to pray for and put on list.
Community needs list- how to help,
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Bless"?
-Missions trip to Uganda with ICCP
-Local missions
-Supporting Global partner initiatives- starting community groups in new areas- pray for, equip, encourage
area of "Abide"?
-Accountability initiators/ leaders, prayer breakfasts, mentor/discipleship relationships.
-Encourage people to study and connecting with God on their own and in small groups. All levels of belonging- intimate, personal, social, public
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Connect"?
-Leadership community, -story time, encouragement, questions, cross pollination, building the leaders up, teaching, food.
-Connecting time at staff meeting, one month later- did they get connected in?
-Connecting team- look for new people, email the names to the staff to pray for and put on list.
Community needs list- how to help,
*What is one thing that you would like to see happen (start doing/keep doing/stop doing) in the area of "Bless"?
-Missions trip to Uganda with ICCP
-Local missions
-Supporting Global partner initiatives- starting community groups in new areas- pray for, equip, encourage
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